Ahhh...The Scent Of MoneyIn an article called The rich are different—and not in a good way,” psychologist Dacher Keltner argues that the rich really are a different breed of people. He says that based on his research, the life experiences of rich people make them less empathetic, less altruistic, and generally more selfish.

“We have now done 12 separate studies measuring empathy in every way imaginable, social behavior in every way, and some work on compassion and it’s the same story,” the article quoted Keltner as saying. “Lower class people just show more empathy, more pro-social behavior, more compassion, no matter how you look at it.”

Great. Just as I’m on a mission to help people re-draw their money blueprints, one of the biggest perpetuated ideas about having a lot of money gets re-enforced by research—that being rich is bad because it makes you a bad person. “I don’t want to be that way; I don’t want to be rich. I just want to be ‘comfortable.’”

On the flip side, Keltner states that unlike the rich, poor people have to depend on others for survival so they learn “pro-social behaviors.” They empathize more with others and they give more to those in need.

I’m not a scientist or a sociologist, so this isn’t about affirming or denying his findings. Even if you were to just think about it for a second, you can imagine some character like the guy from the game “Monopoly” pinching his curled mustache, glossing over the ways family connections, money and access to top education give his children much more of advantage than what a guy like me had growing up.

The fact is that in teaching thousands of people, it’s one of the main hang-ups that people unconsciously associate with having money: becoming a selfish, unlikable a-hole in the process. And like all stereotypes, they usually come with a sliver of something recognizably true; of course there are rich A-holes in the world, yes?

But not all of us! I certainly wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. The research didn’t make much of a distinction between those who were born into wealth and those who created wealth by learning how to do it. Don’t you think that would make a difference?

And this is what ultimately brings me to what I got out of this article—rich and poor people are not inherently anything! Are there going to be tendencies? Sure, but there are plenty of poor people who are selfish just as there are rich that are generous.

The fact remains most of us who strive for wealth aren’t going to get there without empathy, good communication skills, honesty, integrity; the very same reasons that Keltner states poor people relate better to others. We weren’t given anything on our road to millions. We don’t have any choice but to develop the best characteristics of people and not the worst.

In the end, there’s nothing—absolutely nothing—that says you can’t be rich and empathetic, rich and caring, rich and fulfilled by a sense of connection to anyone and everyone whether they’re rich or not. If that’s who you are now, you’re just going to be more of that with a bigger bank account.

What do you think? What do you find in the connection between wealth and charity? Are rich people just automatically more selfish? Are poor people automatically more “human”? We want your opinion!!!

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What’s the root of all evil? Money, right? Wrong!

You’d be amazed how many people think being rich will make their lives worse, like they won’t be judged for who they are but for their money. So even though they want to be rich, they shirk it at the same time.

This subtle yet profound fear keeps people from the truth: it’s good to be rich! Not just for the lifestyle, but because in the end, being rich makes us into better people.

I can hear someone screaming, “What about the rich jerk who doesn’t tip even though the service was great? How’s money made him a better person?” Here’s a clue: whoever you are, money will make you more of that. If you are a kind, generous person who attracted like-minded people before being rich, you’ll continue to do so after because now you’ll be able to be even more generous on a larger scale.

It’s our duty to become rich if we can. We have an obligation to grow to our greatest potential, developing the character that can achieve and care about other people at the same time. This is the growth that will ultimately make us into better people.

So what is the root of all evil? It’s not stacks of paper. Fear is at the root of our thoughts that tell us becoming rich will make things worse and take us away from being loved, accepted, and well-thought of.

If we don’t accept that being rich can be a good thing for ourselves and for others, fear and doubt creates envy. Envy says, “I can’t have that, and I resent those that do.” Acceptance of what you really want says, “I can have that, and I will be a better person because of it.”

So instead of secretly despising rich people, we should affirm them, even if they’re frickin jerks. We’re not affirming who they are as people—we’re affirming the idea that it’s okay to be rich. You can make a choice not to be selfish, arrogant, and thoughtless. Fear and envy negate thoughts of wealth and result in feelings and actions that take you away from it, even when you’re not aware of it.

Here’s a simple exercise in overcoming fear. Think of something that you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to, and just do it (Don’t break any laws, though!). Even if you end up not wanting to do it again, at least you know instead of just holding back for whatever reason. You’ve broken through something, and other breakthroughs become easier. It’s the only way we’ll ever grow.

This is not just about being rich, although that is one of the goals. This is about growing ourselves to become bigger than the obstacles we’ll face in life. The more wonder we experience and challenges we face, the more we expand to be able to take in more; the good and the bad; the money and the problems that come with it. In the end, striving toward becoming rich can only serve you, and if you choose it, serve others as well. How’s that a bad thing?

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Especially in a recessionary market, you really have to differentiate yourself from the rest, not just in terms of product or service, but credibility. With the availability of review sites like Yelp, or the myriad of report boards, people and businesses that don’t establish and maintain their credibility will not have people coming to them for anything.

Everything that you do or don’t do; everything that you say or don’t say counts. So when you say you’re going to call at 3 pm tomorrow, if you don’t do it you’ve already lost credibility. Do that with customers … is that a bell I hear tolling? That’s the death knell of a business. So follow-through and delivering on what you say are no-brainers, yes?

As counter-intuitive as it may sound, though, credibility actually doesn’t start with the customer’s opinion of you, or their feedback to others. It starts within you.

These are two of the most important questions for an entrepreneur to ask him or herself. First, ask yourself, ‘What did I do right?’ You do a quick analysis immediately after your presentation, call, or sale opportunity and you think of everything you did right. ‘I showed up on time. I dressed correctly. I looked the person in the eye. I shook hands with him or her firmly. I smiled. I was relaxed. I asked questions.’ Replay it like a highlight reel of tonight’s games. Look at all the good things you did.

The second question you ask is: ‘What would I do differently? If I had to do that over again, is there anything I would change?’

When you memorize and visualize what you did right, you program it in to your subconscious mind so the next time you’re with a customer you are pre-prepared, like an athlete. You’re ready to do all the things that you did right, and improve on the things that you would have done differently.

Never ask, ‘What did I do wrong? What mistake did I make? How did I blow it?’ When you focus on the mistakes you made, you pre-program yourself to make the same mistakes next time.

The more you program yourself with your successes, when you walk into a room the more confident you are, the more relaxed.

People love to buy from confident, relaxed people because confidence gives you high credibility. When you are confident, believe in yourself, and you’re comfortable with your product, that emotion of confidence becomes contagious. People feel that confidence you have in what you sell.

Those who have confidence in what they sell and feel real good about it—feel really good about it because they’ve called on so many people—they will have even more sales. Those who lack confidence will lose the sales they have now eventually.

A third-grader can talk and repeat product features, but it takes a credible salesperson to ask questions to try and understand where the prospect is coming from, and how you can help them. To be successful in business, you must love your customers. The only way you can love your customers is to really understand what their situation is, and then as a professional you make recommendations instead of trying to sell something. You must really want to help them.

That is what makes a credible, successful businessperson. Credibility is everything!

p-19205There’s no way around it: those who aren’t extraordinary athletes or entertainers but who still want to get rich have to get good at sales. Whatever that may be, even for artists, or whoever. You have to more specifically not only become good at sales, but great at closing sales.

Now, how do you close a sale? There’s three or four ways to do it. The best way is the invitational close. ‘Do you like this? How does this sound?’ Doing this invites feedback. ‘If it sounds pretty good, why don’t you give it a try?’ Assume that when you’ve answered a question or an objection, it’s the equivalent of them having decided to buy.

Or you can use what’s called an alternative close. ‘Would you prefer this or that?’ You offer a choice between A or B. The probability of them picking one or the other goes up dramatically if they have a choice, and whichever one they say ‘Yes’ to, you’ve made a sale.

Here’s a neat trick from one of the masters, Brian Tracy: if you get the customer to give you a single piece of information, you’ve successfully used the power of suggestion. ‘How do you spell your last name exactly?’ If they give you the spelling of their last name, they’ve bought the product. It’s very powerful.

In the end, the most important quality for a sale's success is boldness. All qualities are habits, habits of thought and action. Because of childhood conditioning, we have  fears of failure and rejection, but these are learned because children have no fears. We learn them as we grow up, but this also means we can unlearn them. The way you excavate the fear of failure and rejection is by doing the opposite of what you would do in a failure or rejection situation.

When we back away from fear, it grows and grows. Soon it will dominates your whole life, and it will paralyze you. But when you confront the fear it will get smaller and smaller and will become manageable. So for the rest of your life make a habit of doing the things you fear.

With time you will develop the habit of courage. You reach the point where you’re not afraid of anything. The key to your success as a person and as an entrepreneur is to develop the habit of courage. The way that  you attack every single situation of which you feel a bit scared or nervous will move toward control of the fear. You pick up the phone. You make the call. You knock on the door. You ask for the order.

Whenever you feel afraid, do that which you fear. In a week, a month, a year from now, your fears will diminish. As your fears go down, your confidence and your self esteem go up, and you start to feel fabulous about yourself. You start to feel unstoppable.

What were some of the fears you’ve had to overcome in your life that held you back from success? What once seemed like a mountain but now more resembles a molehill? Give us your feedback. We want to hear from you!