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Here’s One Of My Top Secrets To Living A Truly Amazing Life

When I was young, I was pretty decent at golf. I lived right across the street from a driving range and got my first set of clubs when I was 13 years old. I got to play golf literally all the time when I wasn’t in school.

But when I turned about 17-years old, I developed something called a slice where the ball really curves to the right, and I couldn’t correct it, so I started getting less involved in golf. Once I got out of school life took over, and I didn’t play for years and years.

I got back into it about 20 years ago, but I haven’t been nearly as good as when I was 13. So no, not everything is like “riding a bike”. I’ve taken lessons, I’ve gotten better, more expensive clubs, but I still end up slicing every time.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, I just came from hitting some golf balls on the range, and I started slicing again. It was not very pretty, and in retrospect, I couldn’t believe how down on myself I was getting about it.

Me! Mr. Personal Development…the guy who knows better than to let something like that matter because, hell, by most measures, I feel great about myself, my business, my relationships, my mission and purpose. Life is good!

But I want to drive a point home here about money and success, something that you already know but I’m going to say anyway: money does not solve all your problems, especially in determining how you feel about yourself, whether you’re rich or poor, an achiever or not. It’s not about the money. It’s not about achievement.

It’s about that thing we can never really get rid of, but we have to keep reminding ourselves about all the time: that little gnawing creature called doubt.

“Why can’t I do this better? I should be able to do this! I should be able to be a good golfer. I play quite a bit. I'm successful at so many things, why not this?”

It’s like you know you shouldn’t attach your self-worth to anything as dumb as that, but we do anyway, yes or yes? Some people make a habit of it, and if you’ve seen any of my stuff before, you know how I feel about the power of habits.

The lesson for me now that I’d like to share with you is that even at this stage in my life, I have to practice not attaching my worthiness or esteem to the outcome of whatever I’m doing. I have to practice keeping doubt at bay, and the way to do that is to not be so attached to any of your outcomes.

I know that sounds counter-intuitive, right? “Harv, how can you not care about the outcomes? How else can you be successful?”

There’s a difference between not caring about outcomes and not being attached to them. Not caring is about ambivalence, laziness, selfishness, or plain ole fear.

Non-attachment, on the other hand, is the highest spiritual state you can attain, the closest we can ever get to inner peace with ourselves. Non-attachment is our best defense against doubt and fear.

Remember, we’re not talking about not caring about being successful with business, money or relationships. We’re talking about doing what we’re gonna do with some thought, practice, education if necessary, skill and attention for anything you want to succeed at, and seeing what happens.

It’s the classic Zen paradox: to truly be successful, you can’t attach how you feel with how successful you are.

Esteem is in being able to look at yourself and know that rich or poor, win or lose, you live with integrity. In knowing that nobody’s perfect, but you are doing what you promised yourself you would do regardless of the results.

It’s in knowing that you can trust yourself, and that other people who are relying on you can trust you, too.

It’s not about doing these things 100% of the time. Esteem is an inner confidence, a peace of mind in gratitude for the good that is in your life right here and now; in faith that doesn’t need guarantees of success; in the self that–as best it can–remains unattached to outcomes so it can enjoy the here and now for what it is, but with an eye on an even more prosperous future.

What attachments in your life drive you crazy and how do you get over them? Share with us! We want to hear from you!

Everything I teach, I teach from my OWN experience.

And getting over doubt, attachment and fear quickly is something I’ve been able to become very good at.

Which is why I created this one-of-a-kind web class, “Don’t Believe A Thought You Think”, to teach you usable techniques and strategies to master your mind and live your best life possible.

It’s free to attend, click here to reserve your seat now.

For Your Freedom,

 

Join the Discussion Below

24 thoughts on “Here’s One Of My Top Secrets To Living A Truly Amazing Life”

  1. Vladimir says:

    Thank you Harv i appreciate your help in every way possible!

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  2. Horacios S. says:

    I Live in Paraguay, i read your book in spanish and it was great, it opened my mind,
    Ass you see my English is not so good, so i would like to make the seminar in Spanish, or maybe you may come here.
    Thankyou

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  3. Anvil says:

    Hi T.Harv Eker,

    I have discover a sets of code that can be decoded which can change globally. My English is poor but I have big faith in me because of what you teach. I would like to share with you intimately with one on one basis. May I have the previledge?

    Warmest reragards,
    Anvil
    From the east.

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  4. Brad says:

    Brilliant, very well defined.

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  5. Annette says:

    Very timely – I just met a young Chinese student from Mongolia who offered to do some volunteer work with me. Even though she had been in Canada for only 3 months, her English was the best I ever heard a person from China speak. She said: “My parents love me so much, they sent me away to study so I can have a better life. I work very hard.” I said: “Be careful you don’t put too much stress on yourself.” She answered: “I don’t worry about the result, because I know I’ve done my best. I enjoy my life.”

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  6. Alberto says:

    Thanks so much Harv, I’m just in that process to be unattached from allnthat has been stopping my walk.

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  7. Syed Irfan says:

    Hi T.Harv Eker, I live in Karachi, Pakistan. I like to write and translate. I am passionate of pen and paper.

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  8. Ricardo says:

    This question sometimes kills me “I’m successful at so many things, why not this?” It is so true! Getting dettached from the outcome sounds really difficult, specially when you want to get results. Is there any excercise to make it happen?

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    1. G Sid says:

      Caro Ricardo, I think it’s attaching instead to the mouvement of HOW you’re doing a thing. We are, after all, only made of that, mouvement, not even a “thing” that moves but the mouvement itself. As a singer, if you hold back the sound to listen to it to see if it’s good enough, the real sound of you , the part that moves and touches people, never gets out there to them. But if you concentrate on giving of the very truest, it becomes always the very best. So I think we’re always down tot he same. The question being more how true am I ringing in what I am doing and how can I go even more “there”..and the results always take care of themselves. You know, when we make music, you never know whom and how it will touch someone that day, maybe open a place in one person that changes their entire world, or just remind them to kiss their child that day when they see them. We cannot know, and so we must give of our very truest, so that whatever goes out there can do its job through us. All we’re doing is spinning energy at the end of the day, all of us with whatever we do, so spin it from the Love only, which is the only thing real anyway, ie the most clear intense way to listen and follow you know, whether making a salad or a business. Does that answer you clearly? The best I, as one person only, sees. Bon voyage!

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  9. This is excellent and very enlightening for me thanks so much for sharing this brilliant way to approach a different way of looking at your goals and being more focused on what really matters looking forward to more of your teaching and secrets of success, spiritual growth and confidence you are amazing ❤️❤️

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  10. John says:

    Love yourself no matter what the outcome of anything you do in life, not in the egoic sense but loving yourself from within. “The Kingdom of Heaven is Within”. Live in the moment, the now, positive things will then start to manifest for you that you could never dream of.

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  11. Kit says:

    Attachments…I immediately thought of relationships and being a parent. We can get so hung up on who we think our children should become and critical of our parenting if things don’t turn out like the vision in our heads. But I learned trusting in the outcome, doing my best and letting go has brought me 2 amazing kids as different as night and day.

    In business I can get so attached to a process or program that really no longer is a good fit but is hard to let go. So attachments drive me crazy sometimes.

    Maybe you will never change that slice swing but you gave us a powerful lesson with your story.

    Thanks!

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  12. G Sid says:

    It’s about knowing that we are made of and for Love only, the self esteem being that decision to give oneself over to that rather simple truth, and then getting down to the business of celebrating that for the day, including slicing the lemon, as it were (re your article today, of course!) and following through the steps that will create your choice of dance for that project, day in one’s life, whatever the “thing” may be. That was easy to write! Now, to follow it…! ; )

    You are such a gift to us all Harv, as well as your son who does that work to get you to us so well. Thanks you both of you.

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  13. Thanks Harv – this is so timely. I ride horses, specifically show jumping, and I have been in a 10 year slump regarding my riding – which has really been bugging me. I have forgotten that the real pleasure of riding is the connection with the horse, and it is not about success and failure. I have become so focussed on achieving a specific goal that I have not been simply connecting and allowing the process to happen. The more attached I become to an outcome, the more I get in my own way, and beat myself up about it!

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  14. Mbugua says:

    Hi Harv. l agree with you fully. l believe you have to be the right kind of person before you can fully enjoy your success and what you have. Mbugua, Nairobi, Kenya.

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  15. Harveker, thanks you shared us your private story.

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  16. Md. Sadequr Rahman says:

    Oh Harv! It’s really astounding. And what you want to explain so far I have got it, it’s a universal truth from the ancient period; almost all religions or ancient scripts try to express this for peace in life.
    As a practicing muslim I also believe this and my religion Islam also preaches like this: be honest to yourself, try your best and whatever the outcome is always be content and grateful to almighty Allah. That’s all. And probably this is the wisdom, if I am not mistaken.

    Thank you Harv once again for bringing it to light again for this so called fast, smart, digital people of present global village.

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  17. Harv, for you it’s golf, for me it’s Texas Hold ‘Em. I play every Friday night at my local Moose Lodge, and when I get knocked out because of one “stupid” hand, I fume all the way home. Forget the fact that I win money frequently, those times are completely forgotten when I lose. What I find is that when I get home, if I have a nice big bowl of ice cream and watch a TV show that I’ve recorded earlier in the week, by the end of the show I’m back to normal. Sometimes it’s best for me to just distract myself, let the mind frick run its course, and then all is well.

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  18. Dale says:

    You always find what your looking for, and here I find great information.

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  19. Sheryl says:

    Great post. I build alnd create many projects for others and I ,make myself crazy with worry about the final product. I worry it will not be good enough. I don’t sleep at night until I finally have it completed and it gets approved. I am so bad that I am no longer going to take custom work.. .. to much anxiety. I will teach instead. Thanks for this and will certainly try harder to “unattach”

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  20. Harv mate, you’re a legend for sharing this. It’s come at the perfect time. Though I receive a lot of emails, I always take time to read yours because I know they will always add value to my life. Thank you for sharing and for giving. Perfect timing for the stage that I’m at, and it only took me all but three minutes to read (plus another minute to write my reply!). Best regards, Patrick

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  21. Brigitte says:

    Hello Harv,
    Happy New Year to you and your Family,
    I just read the lesson in attachment, How true it is if we cannot let go and do what make us more productive in our everyday life. I use to be doubter since I have been on your program now I let go to all thing that is not useful for me.
    Thank you again for all your lessons.

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  22. SK says:

    The original idea is from Hinduism (Bhagvat Geeta).

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  23. Beto says:

    Hola como estan? yo me sentia vacio y tenia ansiedad porque se que puedo lograr muchas cosas pero no las he logrado como quiero, empizo a leer este libro y me siento bien porque me da calma y me hace ver la realidad , este camino que decidido emprender es desconocido para mi familia y a veces no tengo los consejos necesarios, porque ellos ven mi desarrollo porque un enemigo porque quiero ser millonario, entonces me sient confundido por como ellos creen que debo lograrlo, todavia trabajo en eso y espero empezar a lograr grandes cosas.

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