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The Most Simple Statement That Will Transform Your Life

Whether it’s in business, during a meeting, in your personal life, or even a passing comment from an acquaintance –have you ever had someone say something that you took really personally?

Of course you have…

It’s part of the human condition to perceive the world through our own lens, but unfortunately it’s not always helpful – or accurate.

You see everyone is operating in their own world. My lens is different from your lens. Your perspective is different from my perspective. (More about this below but we think very differently).

So what do you do when someone freaks out on you?

How can you go along in your day with grace, joy and happiness instead of having this incident completely ruin it?

Well, today I’m going to tell you one of the simplest, most powerful statements I use in my own life to help me stay calm and collected when big or small incidents happen in my life.

I’m human too, remember. I’m no superman. I have lots of things that bug me. Sh*t happens but here’s how I deal with it. If it helps you, then AMAZING. If not, that's okay too, but it sure as heck helps me.

The statement is “Everything is neutral.”

Simple, right? Everything is neutral – until we assign meaning to it.

Here’s how the process works:

When an incident occurs, we look at it with our filters, our conditioning, our views, and we turn it from neutral into whatever we think it is.

So we turn a neutral situation into something completely new and different. We make an assessment, adjustment, or give it meaning, and so on. And it becomes either a good thing or a bad thing. A positive thing, or a problem.

The fact is, there is no problem until you interpret it, give it meaning and judge it.

Only then does it become a problem – for some of us.

How do you know this is true? Because what is a problem for one person is not a problem for another person.

True or true?

What is good for one person is not necessarily good for another person.

Instead, we are the ones who give it meaning.

Is it good or bad? Well, it depends on who you ask. Is it right or wrong? Again, it depends on who you ask.

All of these things are not outside of us, they're all inside of us. This is one of the hardest things to grasp; this is enlightenment.

When you can understand that there's actually nothing going on outside of you except for you putting your filters and your views out there, and that then they become you…then you realize that nothing is simply the way it is until you give meaning to it.

Instead, everything is only how you look at it.

So someone says, “Look how pretty that outfit is,” and the other person says, “What? I think it's kind of ugly.”

Who's right?

One person says “The team played great tonight, didn't they? They just came up a little short.” The other person says, “What? The team played terrible, they lost.”

Who's right?

Someone says, “That is such an awesome song.” The other person says, “What? It's too slow, it's boring.”

Who's right?

Is it the song that's the problem? No, there's no problem in a song. The only one that's a problem is the person who says it's a problem.

Again, I am talking about problems beyond survival. I'm not going to get into the semantics of someone who has no food to eat and they're starving or if someone is sick. I'm not going there.

I'm just going to say, everything beyond survival is not a problem until you get there.

So remember, everything is neutral—and only we can decide how we define the events and experiences that happen in our lives.

Once you realize this, nothing will be able to hurt or hinder you—because you get to decide how it affects your life.

Good or good?

Have you ever found yourself assigning meaning to an event? How do you stay neutral when this happens? We want to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Last week we held a web class called, “Don’t Believe A Thought You Think: The Greatest Secret To Life” which was a huge hit within our community. The information is very profound and practical…like this lesson.

This web class is one of my best and the information has completely transformed my life, so when you click the link below, you'll see my next upcoming class in 3 days from now.

If you’re interested in watching it… take 2 seconds and reserve your (free) spot now by clicking here.

For Your Freedom,

 

Join the Discussion Below

36 thoughts on “The Most Simple Statement That Will Transform Your Life”

  1. fatima says:

    I believe that we connect our passion, thoughts, believes to all cases. If we believe that they are neutral, we will be much better in our lives.

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  2. Daniel says:

    In situations, when I want to pull my mind away from evaluation and judgment, I use the simple statement “It is what it is.” to calm my mind. No matter what stories we wrap around what happened or happens, what perspective we take and how we evaluate, it does not change what it is. Also, a horse is a horse, whether you name it horse or caballo or paard or Pferd. God is god whatever name you use. Things are not labels and everything is supporting and destructive (e.g., even destruction is supportive in creating something new and support destructive in challenging us to come up with our own solutions). So however you look at it, it just is whatever it is. No judgment needed.

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  3. Ian says:

    I have been teaching my kids something similar, you have to allow others to offend or upset you and the decision as to how you react is down to you, so simply agree that you are not going to allow another’s views or comments to offend you or upset you.

    And I have been explaining to people for decades that what people think of me is nowhere near as important as what I think of them.

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  4. Michael says:

    Everything is neutral. Thanks Harv for this simply but powerful insight. If nothing else, it helps to give pause and see the situation from a potentially different point of view. Creating some space between event and reaction can make all the different in your peace of mind and happiness. Thanks!

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  5. Bob says:

    When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. For me, I just accept, allow, surrender to Life or to what is (thank you Daniel) and wait for the miracle to happen and it happens always and in all ways. Give it a try and enjoy the ride. Peace be with you.

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  6. Louise Hutchinson says:

    When we were babies, we had no sense of separateness. We were at one with the universe. We then got given a name and we became an individual with an ego… All thoughts and judgements come from the ego, our false sense of self. Be the witness behind your self, no ego results in no mind once you return to the ONE whole and loose your name and sense of false individuality just like when you were born.

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  7. Infini Sanner says:

    This is an awesome perspective to have and I will begin to implement this immediately! Thank you I love the simplicity of the information you share as well as its usefulness in daily life.

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  8. Barry Aleo says:

    I found this a very applicable article! Many times in life I have let my emotion(s) get the best of me and come up very short in the “Monday Morning Quarterback” reflection. It’s like the wise saying: “NOTHING is GOOD or BAD, but THINKING MAKES IT SO!”

    I am going to apply your advice and remember the phrase: “Everything is NEUTRAL!” Regardless of what happens this starting point phrase will serve as a “Reminder” that I get to decide on the meaning I give it.

    Loved the article… Thanks for posting!

    Your friend,

    Barry

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  9. Virginia Reeves says:

    Everything is neutral – it’s the emotional attachment we put on events, relationships, and everything else that causes us to look at ‘it’ with a certain perspective.

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  10. Nos says:

    Well, I’ve always found myself analysing how people respond or behave towards me. From friends to just random people. Until now, I didn’t know that I could just say ” well, that is a neutral situation, it has nothing to do with me”. I’m glad I read this, I’m never cracking my skull again trying to figure out other people’s behaviours.

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  11. Caesi Bevis says:

    Harv, in theory I agree with you….

    Yet – as a writer, speaker, trainer, content creator – and someone responsible for brand protection and marketing, “everything is neutral”…sort of / maybe. You are in this field as well. We “do” our market intelligence research – look at Google Analytics, track A/B split marketing campaigns, take feedback from attendees at events or online, review what others in our marketing space or doing, review ethics and integrity not only with ourselves but also observing practices of other marketers. So – how often is “everything really held ‘neutral’?” The collective “we” live in a world of discernment, competitive and business intelligence, reputation management, counter-intelligence, etc. We thrive professionally, or not, by everything ‘not’ being neutral. Otherwise, no one could discern whether or not our programs are better than others in our marketing space. (and in a parallel area – no one could fall in love if “everything / everyone is ‘neutral.’)

    “Neutrality” is an interesting conversation as a place to stand. Yet, for me, I feel as soon as I take on that statement of “everything being neutral,” I create a story around “being neutral” (Teflon state – nothing sticking) – and then I have assigned meaning to ‘neutrality.’ “Neutrality,” I believe spiritually and as a concept is an illusion. To me, it is fleeting, at best like trying to catch a cloud floating by. In our Soul state we are neutral. Yet, while still maintaining a body, our human brains and of brains of others form opinions. It’s what the mind does – the mind’s playground. We enjoy “judging.” We enjoy “choosing.” As the saying goes, the mind makes a good servant but a poor master. The mind’s challenge is staying in the stand of neutrality, when it is not a natural state.

    For business purposes, “we” need to observe market gaps, and gaps in services to serve others. Both require forming in opinion – and alas shifting to a state of observation and data collection, as some point we need to make research, finance, or marketing decisions and no longer remain ‘neutral.’

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  12. This is a highly spiritual message. I love how he takes spirituality and makes it palatable for the masses. Awesome.

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  13. JOYCE CARR says:

    Hi — This is rather an extreme example I know but here goes. My 44 year old son who lived with me had been very depressed with various ailments, no insurance and I was always worried he would do something to hurt himself. I scheduled a doctor appointment and on that morning he hung himself. Later that day, after the initial shock I suddenly had the insight that “Well, now I don’t have to worry that he’ll do something to himself.” I knew that we always have the option of putting a positive slant to anything if we really love ourselves. Harv — I LOVE all of your insights!

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    1. Nancy says:

      I’m so sorry, Joyce, for your loss. {{{Hugs}}} I hope your healing attitude continues for your personal peace of mind.

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  14. Vinícius says:

    Thanks Harv for this amazing. I used to feel bad about all the critics , different perspectives , but now I understand that everything is neutral so it doesn’t affect anymore. Thanks a lot.

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  15. DeWayne Ivey says:

    Thanks Harv!! Your information is always educational and helping us to move away from our conditions and ego.
    Greatly appreciated!
    Wishing you all a great day.

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  16. Really love this statement. I have certainly heard of this concept, but it always bears repeating. I’m pretty much a glass half full/silver lining kind of person, and tend to naturally look for the good in things. But I still fear the reactions of others…this statement really helps put things in perspective.

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  17. Michelles says:

    I don’t know really how but sometimes helps to try and want just to understand because i feel sometime i can’t change everything 🤒

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  18. Joseph says:

    Thank you Harv,
    This is insightful, I really never look at situations from the neutral perspective until now. This is great. However, I have learnt with time not take anything to heart to avoid clogging my brain with things that has no benefit. I tried to overlook things that I know could make me feel bad.
    Thanks again Harv, I always enjoy reading your messages.
    J Obute
    Nigeria

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  19. Anna Gray says:

    Even for problems beyond survival the meaning is assigned to them. When people know that I used to starve to death, they say “This is terrible!” No, it is not. It has taught me that our bodies are but an illusion and how to live without food for over a month. This came in handy later during long hikes. Ditto with being sick. Watching your body deteriorate and have a dying experience will teach you to be strong and enjoy life while you can, because tomorrow you can wake up – and find out that you did not. It will also rid you of the fear before “terminal diseases”. It will show you that most of the “problems” are not worth worrying about.

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  20. Marta Fernandes says:

    I deal with it with the quote ” this is not me” , if someone offends me with deeds or words, and I have taught my grandson the same, to deal with problems at school and it works for him as well

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  21. Don Sinish says:

    Short and sweet, the absolute best kind of thought. I wrote everything is neutral on my studio wall.

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  22. Paul Miller says:

    This is absolutely brilliant and so simple, This will definitely help to transform me into who I need to be. Everything is Neutral! Its when we assign a meaning that is the problem, great stuff. Thanks Harv.

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  23. Clint Lowe says:

    Just because someone THINKS a CAR is an ELEPHANT doesn’t make it true.

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  24. Bob says:

    I’m really not sure how to take this advice because I kind of live by it (most of the time). I have often been told that I don’t let things phase me and that I’m “really patient” with my kids when they’re not listening. But here’s my problem: I think they don’t respect me as a parent because they know I don’t lose it, so they constantly push the limits. How do I deal with that while keeping it neutral?

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    1. Sue says:

      Hi Bob, As a school counsellor and a parent, can I offer a few suggestions from my point of view?
      Like you, I was and am still a very patient parent. I wonder how old your kids are. With tweens and teens I think it’s very important to have open communication and “hanging around time” in case they want to talk to and confide in you; also be prepared to negotiate with them rather than have a top down approach 😃! I found that one of the keys to remaining neutral is to let your kids know your clear boundaries and your bottom lines. In this way you are objectifying the situation and not bringing in any emotional attachment. It’s no good appearing calm and patient if you’re feeling frustrated inside. Consistency and following through, although sometimes difficult are important because kids are quick to spot the loopholes!! Another little tip: Over the years, so many teenagers have told me that although they love their parents their main dislikes are 1. parents talking too much, 2. asking too many questions and 3. listening but judging them/their behaviors ! Hope some of this helps!

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  25. Michael says:

    It might depend on where a person is in their spiritual development, but this statement is at worst a checkpoint that gives you the choice on how to react to any given situation. It doesn’t mean you are always going to react “properly”. And sometimes there will be a significant time delay between the reaction and noticing the reaction. In these situations what I have done is tell myself, “I could have handled that better.”

    Still, a good reminder.

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  26. Michelles says:

    ..and if you have too much compassion and do not understand what is happening to you you can only willingly want to understand this well and this can only be achieved when viewed from a neutral point of view of yourself and the whole situation. 🙂

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  27. Dale says:

    thank you T.Harv & crew, one does not just have a moment of these thoughts, so one has to deal all day everyday and that can keep a person busy,

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  28. Mike Trevisan says:

    I’m in Jamaica. They say “we have no problems, just situations”. I like that. Being neutral will help me leave the baggage of negativity that pops up daily and turn it into no problem.

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    1. Miriam says:

      Yes Joyce, so sorry you had such an extreme experience ….

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  29. Miriam says:

    Hi Harv, always useful to have really simple phrases to remember in times of stress and ego deflation ! I agree, ultimately everything is neither good nor bad, therefore neutral, and our interpretations and our judgements are individual and out of our domestication, not the event itself.

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  30. Steve Boust says:

    Yes, I am guilty of adding my own interpretation to a situation that was actually “neutral.” If we can remind ourselves that it is in fact neutral and give ourselves time to make the best response. Because, once we do decide, it becomes our responsibility and we are judge by that decision. “It’s not what happens to us, but how we react.”

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  31. Ronald Cattaruzza says:

    Totally an Ah! Ha! moment for me, explaining the concept “Everything we put our attention on is a reflection of ourselves”- similar, but not the same as a mirror. Very Enlightening!!
    Namaste Harv Eker & Company!!

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  32. A-N-D-O says:

    Quite true. Priceless but powerful meaning.

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  33. it’s approaching end June and I am wrapping up my overseas travels to Thailand this month and also the life makeover coaching program.

    Since 1 year ago – when I started to know T. Harv and learn from him, my life has improved.
    Indeed – I do not take things personally.

    I know that people are different and each of us view things in a different way.

    For each encounter, event that happen to me, I will decide how it will affect my life.

    Yes – everything is neutral

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