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How To Fully Detach From Toxic Situations And People So You Can Become Unstoppable In Every Area Of Your Life
Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone… and felt your blood boil?
We’ve all been there. Someone says something that gets under our skin and then it’s game over. Before you know it, you’re reacting negatively and following old subconscious programming.
But what if you could learn to operate from a more positive, proactive programming?
Today I’m going to show you exactly where to begin, so that you don’t absorb other people’s poor belief systems any longer.
First of all, noticing that you are becoming irritated, agitated, upset, feeling hurt or whatever it is, is the first step to moving forward.
The first step is always awareness of what’s going on… noticing that there’s a trigger and noticing how you respond to that trigger.
We are programmed to respond to certain situations, certain triggers and certain people in certain ways… these are like grooves on a record.
And remember how records used to skip? Well, it didn’t really mean that they skipped. It means they got stuck in one spot. There’s a groove that they got stuck in, and then you couldn’t hear the rest of the album or the rest of the record.
Well, it’s the same with us. Us humans, we get stuck in grooves and subconsciously react on autopilot.
Now, if you notice something and become aware of it, but then you beat yourself up for doing it, you’ve made the situation way worse for yourself.
I’m going to share a quote from my Zen teacher Cheri Huber. She says, “If you beat yourself up for noticing, you will train yourself not to notice.”
And without noticing, there is no change that can occur.
So what are you going to do now? You’re going to notice without judgment.
When testing situations, you need to understand that the situation is not you, that the other person is not you – and moreover, that those things are not necessarily things that you can even control in the moment.
The bottom line is that you must separate yourself from those situations and separate yourself from the mind that is getting upset around those situations.
If I receive criticism about the way I teach, it’s easy for me to feel hurt or angry about that, but that isn’t me talking. That’s the small self, the ego self, the fear-based self, the protective self.
That’s not who I am.
Of course, it is a part of me like my hand, my finger, my ear, my hair or my nose… but it’s not me.
Understanding that allows me to separate that. It allows me recognize that it’s only my protective mechanism doing its job the best way it knows how to do it, which is reacting in that manner and therefore making me feel the way I feel right now.
Once I can separate myself from that part of me, I can notice it, be aware of it without judgment and just simply say, “Thank you for sharing”.
When it comes to other people, they’re just trying to feed you their poison. An why would you want to eat their poison? Just because somebody gives you poison doesn’t mean you have to eat it. It doesn’t mean you have to swallow it. It doesn’t mean you have to wallow in it. It doesn’t mean you have to bathe in it.
What I always say is, their poison is theirs. It comes from their background and their conditioning. It’s not them either.
If you have poison inside you, what are you naturally, to protect yourself, going to try to do? Get rid of it.
So next time someone is saying something nasty, or something negative, or even anything that you feel is not becoming to you, understand this is their own poison.
If you argue with them, it means you’re trying to give back their poison.
Again, it’s their own stuff. It’s their own stress. It’s their own fear. That’s all that’s happening.
Now you can look at it and simply say, “Thank you for sharing.” If you’re really a good friend, you’ll listen for a bit and let them express it… but not absorb it.
If you can imagine black poison coming out of their mouth, then it’s easy to understand it has nothing to do with you.
When I’m in seminars, believe it or not, at the break most people are very grateful and are there to learn—but some other people are there to be right.
Of course, to be right, I have to be wrong. So they’ll come up to me and criticize something about me or my seminar, and I generally just thank them and move on.
They might then insist on telling me why they didn’t enjoy my presentation. Eventually, I’ll need to move on to the next person, and have forgotten what that person said in about a millionth of a second because I am not going to let that slime stick on me.
Do you know why?
It’s because I have another student who is grateful, happy and wants to learn and I am not going to transfer that first person’s slime onto my next person.
No way am I doing that to them, so I’ve got to let it go quickly.
Of course, sometimes I get hooked in. After the interaction, I feel myself all jittery and I think “Why did I entertain that?” I’ll judge myself right away, but then breathe through it.
And it’s these times when I decide to let it go and move on, that nobody has any criticism for me!
It’s the way of the universe: when we accept things as they are, instead of resisting, things seem to work in our favor.
I understand there’s a subconscious response with certain issues and fear, but it’s a practice. How do you think you change your subconscious? You change your subconscious/unconscious first by making the unconscious conscious.
The first thing you do is consciously come up with a method for stressful or intense situations. For example, “The next time a person raises his voice, I’m going to respond like this,” and you consciously create a method that works for you.
You’ve got to let it go consciously first.
When does the conscious become unconscious? Through repetition and practice.
You can’t do something one time and have it become unconscious or subconscious overnight. It takes frequency.
You do it again and again, and pretty soon that dendrite takes over. That neurological pathway becomes the path of least resistance, then it becomes unconscious.
Once you have your own method of dealing with this toxic energy, and you’ve practiced it enough times, it will make its way into your subconscious.
From here, you’ll be able to repel the negative energy from those around you, and instead focus on all the positive and exciting things happening around you.
And the best part? Once this mindset is a habit, you’ll be truly unstoppable in every area of your life.
As I mentioned, the first step for ALL change to take place is awareness.
You must become aware of those thoughts that are creating those triggers for you and then causing unwanted and negative reactions in order to reprogram your mind.
And that’s exactly why I created a special web class called: “Don’t Believe A Thought You Think: The Greatest Secret To Life”.
I hope you’ll join me as my guest as I know the information in this class will make a huge impact in your life.
For Your Freedom,