Skip to main content
Select Language:

Tag: break free

Fear: the Great Paralyzer

Posted on by 29

Help ButtonWhen we look at successful people, there are a variety of assumptions we can make for why they are successful. Hard work comes to mind. Smarts never hurt. Maybe they were born with advantages that other people weren’t born with.

But let’s be honest: there are times when you wonder why someone who doesn’t seem terribly bright finds success. “How the hell did they get to where they’re at? I’m smarter than them!” That may or may not be true, but one thing is for sure: however one reaches success—even if intelligence and ability weren’t factors at all—those people aren’t afraid to take action!

It’s Not All About the “Great Idea”

Lots of people have great ideas. Even more may be sharp as pencils. They can know exactly what to do. But what good is all that knowledge, imagination, and information if you’re too scared to do anything about it?

Let’s not give fear too much of a bad rap here. When mankind needed to be hyper-aware of our environment in more primal times, fear was certainly a useful tool for staying alive. We were born with the ability to fear, so like anything else we’re born with, it serves a purpose.

Fortunately, most of us aren’t typically in “fight or flight” situations like our ancestors. Unfortunately, people tend to invoke that same primal instinct about things that have nothing to do with life or death. It just seems like it when a big change or decision is upon us that moves us out of our comfort zones (even when we know financial “comfort” isn’t quite as comfortable as financial freedom).

The Protective Mind Can Hold You Back

It’s that protective mind acting like a helicopter mom, hovering over us as if every move we make will end in disaster. It’s constantly creating doom and gloom scenarios, trying to scare the heck out of us in the hopes that we won’t try anything new. It’s our own protective mind that prevents us from taking the actions necessary to reach our dreams.

When that happens, all of our great ideas are now full of uncertainty and doubt. A lot of people wait for their fear to subside before doing something. Wrong! You don’t have to be fearless in order to act. You acknowledge the fear and act anyway. Fear itself holds no real power over us.

Successful People Have Fear

Successful people have doubts and successful people worry. The only difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is that successful people act regardless of the fear. Even those who don’t have integrity or brains but who act anyway are going to find more success than geniuses with integrity who keep it to themselves because they’re too afraid to put themselves out there.

Habitual fear can be paralyzing. It can trick us into believing that we can’t act, that we shouldn’t act, that acting toward what we really want is going to lead to pain because that’s what we’ve been taught, or because that’s what happened before. You’re never going to be happy or successful if you don’t get beyond fear.

 

Now it’s your turn: What’s been some of your biggest fears, anxieties and worries that—now that you look back on it—were overblown? What was the result once you got past those fears? Where in your life are you letting fear, doubt or worry stop you from taking the necessary actions for happiness and success? Share here so others can learn from your experiences.

Remember this:  Don’t let fear ever paralyze you into inaction. Overcome your fears!

Go Hard or Go Home

Posted on by 17

iStock_000010769378XSmallgoHARD

I’ve seen that mantra in several different contexts, in particular to athletics or anything with a kind of “edge” to it. It comes off a little severe, like something those guys who pound each other in cages on Pay per View would say. Train hard, push hard, work hard, fight hard. Otherwise, what’s the point?

In general, people recognize the truth in the phrase ‘Go Hard or Go Home.’ If you’re going to do something, either be the absolute best you can be or don’t do it at all. Well, not everything. You can enjoy the heck out of playing golf, but you don’t have to be a PGA player to get something out of playing. You do it strictly because you want to, no reasons needed.

Consider, though, the difference between something you do for fun versus something you’re doing for your life, like working toward financial freedom, or living more healthy. Being an average golfer is fine, but there’s no such thing as an average millionaire. You’re either a millionaire or you’re not, and quite frankly there aren’t as many millionaires as there are wanna-be millionaires.

In other words, you can’t just “okay” yourself to riches. You’re either going to master wealth, or you’re not.

That’s where the warrior mentality is critical for the mind of the millionaire. The warrior always chooses to be a master. A warrior has to! There is no other option. For a real warrior, mastery can make the difference between life and death. Not that being anything less than rich equals being dead, but the same kind of must-mentality is … a must!

Mastery isn’t as much a skill as it is a matter of discipline, desire, and commitment to taking your life to another level. Most people are not living anywhere near their potential because they’re playing in the minor leagues. Major leaguers, no matter what job or industry, are making lots of money because they’re not afraid of themselves, the work, the responsibility, making the necessary changes, of playing big, and they believe they must play big in order to win big.

Does it take more work to play in the majors than in the minors? Not necessarily. It takes more practice for sure, but sometimes all it takes are minor adjustments to your thinking and how you apply your skills in order to make big changes.

If you want to master anything, you’ll have to do at least some things differently. Your standards must change, your thinking needs to change from “This is okay” to “I can do much better,” and you’ll need to find reasons why there’s room to get bigger rather than reasons why not.

Can you be a master at everything? No, nor does anybody need to be. You need, instead, to prioritize, choose and focus on those things you really want for yourself. Whatever you choose, know that you’re going to master it or not take it on. If you aren’t willing to see your potential and hold yourself to it, then you won’t master much.

You will always get what you’re willing to settle for. The hardest part isn’t actually becoming a master. It’s deciding that you’re going to be one in the first place, and not going backwards from that moment on.

Now it’s your turn!  Are you playing in the major leagues or still down at the minors?  If you are mastering your life, what was the turning point to get you to make the shift up?  If you are still in the minors, what will it take to get you to play bigger?  Share here—someone just might read what you write and be inspired to live a better life.

When “Staying Inside the Lines” Starts to Hold You Back (And How to Break Free)

Posted on by 12

CrayonsThere’s a spirit in our culture that prides itself on individuality and “being you.” That sense of satisfaction that comes with doing something your way and finding success.

Yet, as much as we say we value individuality, how much do we really live by that? How often are our decisions influenced by other people: family, friends, a mate, colleagues, neighbors? How often have you wanted to do something but thought twice about it because you were afraid of what so and so might think?

When you go against the grain, you stand out, and standing out can be nerve-wracking. Why is that?

It starts, like many behaviors, with early conditioning—like staying “inside the lines” in art class. Structure can be good, but if we dared draw outside the lines, watch out! We’d be “corrected” until we developed the habit of staying within artificial boundaries given to us.

That’s just one of many examples of conditioning that ends up placing limits on our creative potential. Those pressures could be cultural (Stay with your group!), economic (Rich people are why we’re poor!) … the list goes on and on. And most people end up living their lives “inside the lines” until it becomes comfortable, familiar and what others have taught as “appropriate”—even though it may not be appropriate for you!

In everyday life, anything or anyone that doesn’t fit the “norm” often pays the price of disapproval or scorn. It’s a strange paradox; it pays to be different—think of somebody like Madonna, who clearly marches to her own beat—but don’t be too different or else you’re weird, or something’s wrong with you.

Most people will do their best to fit into a recognizable and comfortable mold because security is addictive to the ego. As a matter of fact, it’s part of our evolution as people. Being accepted in a group meant survival and safety for our ancestors. And in some ways it still does.

However, at some point we’ve got to tell the ego that it’s okay to step into the unknown and dare to be different. Think of all the people throughout history that, if they hadn’t stepped “outside the lines,” we’d have never evolved as quickly as we did. We’d still think the world was flat, or that the universe revolves around us, or that “normal” people couldn’t do amazing things.

When you stop playing it safe, your spirit is free to grow, expand and create.  Individual, family and social “rules” don’t apply.

It takes guts to be different; to stand out from the crowd; to break free from the “clone drone” society and be a true individual.

When others criticize you for doing something “different” it’s usually because they’re scared. Inside, they’re secretly stoked that you’re breaking free. They’re just frustrated with themselves for lacking the courage to do the same. Be their inspiration!

Your focus for the next 30 days: This month, let go of worrying about what other people think of you. Do something unusual (just remember society does have laws!). Whatever business you are in, figure out a way to do it, package it, or market it differently than everyone else. “Zig” when the masses “zag.” You will not only feel a renewed sense of spirit and energy but will also dramatically increase your income and wealth.

Are you up for it?  Let me know your thoughts and ideas on how you can mix it up and start coloring outside the lines.  What would you do differently?  Can you find the courage? I want to hear from you!