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That’s got to sound ironic coming from someone who believes whole-heartedly in the benefits of being rich. Forget about getting out of debt, paying bills, buying nice things, etc. That stuff’s great, but at the end of it all you’re not going to give a damn about your credit rating. Money’s the last thing on your mind in that moment, I would imagine.

Money can reduce the stress of living, but it can bring just as much if not more anxiety. I’ve gone through my cycles of accumulating and losing money, getting more and losing it again. The money wasn’t burning a hole in my pocket. I just had a big hole in my pocket and didn’t bother to sew it up. That hole represented something in my mental blueprint that kept me from being stable with money. There was nothing wrong with the money.

On the other hand, people without money often think if they just had enough to do this or that, then things would be better. While that may be true, what happens when the mind goes into ‘Only if …’ consistently? That’s exactly what you get … ‘only if.’

‘This will only happen if…’

All of a sudden nothing’s happening and you don’t even know or remember that rule you created. In business that thinking often translates into “It takes money to make money.” No! If you have money it can certainly grow more money, but it doesn’t take money to make money. It takes creativity to make money.

Throwing money at a problem is disaster! In business there’s no such thing as a money problem. That problem grew out of somewhere else. You want to fix the root of the problem. If you throw money at a business problem, you’ll have the same business problem for the rest of your life and no money. Creativity and knowledge are the answers, not money.

It’s also not logical to blame money for people’s shortcomings, or the world’s for that matter. Obviously there are people that are rich and greedy, but there are poor people who are greedy and there are middle class people who are greedy. There are rich, poor, and middle-class people who are generous. There are rich, poor and average income people who can be both generous and greedy, depending on the stress they’re going through at any given time.

To say rich people are greedy as a blanket statement is just as unfair as saying poor people are lazy. I’ve met many a hard-working poor person who just hadn’t yet turned the corner on working smarter instead of just harder.

Money can’t be the root of all evil. Envy, jealousy, and greed—all based on fear of not having or getting enough of something we want—pre-dated currency (think about the story of Cain and Able). It’s a part of what it means for us to be human.

If money isn’t the cause of all that’s wrong, it’s not going to be the cure either. It’s not the answer. It’s the fruit of our expansion—or lack thereof—beyond ourselves and of the impact we’re having on the world. What we choose to do with that is a result of who we choose to be, not because of money.

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Last week we took a look at how anger is one of the bitterest pills you can swallow. It’s the pill that doesn’t dissolve. It just sits there, potentially poisoning any and all good that comes into our lives.

You can’t have a fresh start to a relationship—with people, money or anything else—until you’ve cleaned up that lingering resentment with your parents, spouse, friend, lover, relative or whoever hurt you in the past. If you don’t clean that up first, you’ll drag that hurt with you.

A quote that I really like is from a book called ‘Your Cosmic Destiny’ by W.A. Chapman. It says, “Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”

So how do we let go of anger? We looked at opening ourselves to the other person’s perspective: there might be something going on that we didn’t know about.

The other part of letting go of anger is to forgive those people, even if they were dead wrong; even if they’re still freakin’ jerks. We all do the best we can at any given time. It may not be one of our best moments in life, but it’s the best for that time. Understanding this simple truth makes a huge difference in letting go.

Whatever happened to make us so upset, it’s not the event that has us any more. It’s the story about the event and our choice to keep that story alive. All we have to do is remind ourselves that both us and those we’re angry with were not getting (or perceived we weren’t getting) what we wanted, and both www.fertileheart.com/clomid-clomiphene-infertility-treatment/ side’s reactions are based in fear. Our conditioning blocks our higher selves from stepping back and looking at things as they are, not as we fear them to be.

When we become aware, though, we now have an opportunity to make new choices. We can consciously choose to come from our higher self—be the person we know we can be—forgive and move on, remembering that punishing them any longer only hurts us.

So you don’t necessarily forget but you do necessarily forgive. Forgiveness is the key because when you release them from their deed (or non-deed as may be the case) you automatically release yourself from the anger and negative emotion around that deed.

It’s been way too long, with too much hurt and too much pain. For your own sake, tell whoever you need to that you forgive them, or that you’re at least willing to let it go. Forgiving is not condoning, and it’s certainly not forgetting. Forgiving is our way toward healing.

Here’s what’s important to remember, though: do not expect ANYTHING from them! Heck, in your mind that person “deserves” your forgiveness, but they may feel like they don’t need any forgiving. They might actually be resentful toward you, but that’s okay. It’s not about them. The process is for you. Say your piece, hear and accept their side, and be on your way in peace.

What was the most impactful result of forgiveness that you’ve experienced—from either side of the equation? What significant changes in your life happened as a result of clearing anger and resentment with someone important in your life? We want to hear from you!

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Of all of the negative emotions we have to deal with, the most debilitating of them is anger. Anger sometimes runs and can often ruin lives.

I was angry at my dad for years. When I was a kid, I had this coin collection that I was really proud of, and I kept the coins in this piggy bank. My dad knew where I kept it as well, and one day it was just gone. My prized collection that—in my mind at least—I worked so hard for, just disappeared. Eventually, the piggy bank reappeared, but when I angrily accused my father of stealing … let’s just say he responded pretty angrily, too.

I thought of it as one of those things that ‘just happens,’ and you move on, yes?

Throughout my adult years I never re-examined that incident. I never considered his side of the story. My perspective was, ‘I’m right and that’s that!’ Fine and swell except for one problem: I unconsciously decided that men weren’t to be trusted with money or anything else. The anger and distrust was holding me back, not him. Think that had an effect on my long-term success and happiness?

Most of us are run by our past circumstances. We play the victim role based on an idea that it’s all our parents’ fault for how they raised us. ‘This is what happened, this is the conclusion, and now this is what I do.’

‘You want me to be a success? I’ll be a failure just to show you what a lousy parent you were!’

The most important thing to the conditioned mind is to be right. And when we’re angry, it’s usually about not getting what we want, and we feel justified in our position for the reason of the moment. So we retaliate by not giving the person that we’re angry with what they want. Meanwhile, we’re often going down the drain with or without them, true or true?

So … five different cities, 12 different businesses, 14 different jobs and 35 years later, I learned my dad was actually showing my prized coins to his poker buddies, and he didn’t want to confuse my coin collection with the poker pot so he just kind of stashed it away and forgot to put it back where I kept it. He was proud and protective, not a thief. Only when I became aware of why I wasn’t settled down—as a form of rebellion, anger and retaliation—I was able to make a new choice and build lasting success in life.

Anger and resentment only hurts you! You feel it, not whoever you’re angry at. It gets stuck in the cells of your body, not theirs. It makes you sick, not them. Even worse, sometimes that anger might actually be totally unwarranted, a simple misunderstanding. It’s not worth hanging on to.

Search your past for an emotional incident that resulted in your getting angry about something that concerned money and/or at least one other person. The idea is to simply re-look at a past or childhood situation from your current and (possibly) more mature point of view, and consider revising it so that it doesn’t haunt you anymore. What’s your story? We want to hear from you!

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There’s nothing like a little self-congratulation for the ego, yes?

I’d rather pat myself on the back and maybe look like an egotistical jerk than to maybe get no praise at all. We recently took a look at the power of receiving—including compliments. That doesn’t mean we can’t give ourselves some props, too. In fact, it’s important for success-building.

Why? Because we’re creatures of habit. Success is a habit as is failure; and mediocrity—which is worse than failure. Mediocrity is this lukewarm thing where there’s not enough pain to make you want to move.

The more success, failure, or mediocrity you live in habitually, the more natural that process becomes for you. When your mind is comfortable and used to success, success becomes your path of least resistance. And success therefore becomes normal and automatic.

So how do you utilize this law in your favor? Simple: recognize and acknowledge your successes. Some people say, “Not focusing on my success keeps me striving.” I say it keeps you unrewarded, unhappy, and in a pattern of failure.

We all love to be recognized and rewarded for our good deeds, yes? Feeling significant is a basic human need. Most of us unfortunately have let some of the greatest successes of our entire lives just totally slide into oblivion, without ever really acknowledging or celebrating them in any way, shape, or form. It’s important that we keep our big successes in the forefront of our mind for references and to reinforce our confidence.

Isn’t it true that our mind will almost always pick out what’s “wrong” with us? In what we can’t or shouldn’t do? It hardly ever goes back to the great things that we did. So if you want to go out there and do something new like make a couple of million dollars in a certain amount of time, it’s going to seem scary because your mind isn’t going to go, ‘You’ve handled this before. Not a problem.’

That has to be a conscious thought that we force in there. Left by itself, something new or scary will make the mind go, ‘Hell, I don’t want to do this!’ So it’s important that we keep whatever successes we’ve had at the forefront of our mind. We want to ingrain them as best we can on a physical or emotional level so that they’re part of who we are.

Can you come up with three of the greatest successes of your life in any area, right now? If you can’t come up with three successes, you are way too hard on yourself. If you have trouble coming up with three successes, you won’t even look at anything good about yourself which means you won’t look at other good things about other people or anything.

They don’t have to be incredible. They just have to be big successes for you in the situation you were in. What have you overcome? It could be business. It could be relationships. It could be money! It could be from childhood. It could be sports. It could be anything. We want to hear from you!

Take action

I believe we are spiritual beings living physical lives, and to make the most of this life we have to take care of, nurture, and more importantly listen to the clues that spirit gives us, mostly through gut intuition and feelings we have.

At some point, though, we have to honor the physical side of our lives as well, and that means taking action. To hell if conditions aren’t perfect, or if this circumstance isn’t quite ideal or that person isn’t following through the way they said they would. We’ve got to take all these spiritual principles and put them into action.

That’s exactly where a lot of people get stuck, even those with greater awareness and knowledge. You know you want to work out, need to get into better shape for the sake of generating more energy to work your mission. But what step is often the hardest to take? That first one.

Depending how long you had been in your last cycle, getting the ball rolling can feel like pushing a boulder uphill, metaphorically speaking. You need to build the next muscle and final spiritual muscle that separates the successful from those still waiting at the gate: momentum.

Momentum is that force that makes it easier for someone who’s successful to do what’s right than to do what’s wrong. Momentum is that process of getting that snowball moving. The hardest part about working out is getting to the gym.  Once you get there, it’s not that hard to do.

When you’re in motion, that’s when things begin to line up, not before (that goes for you perfectionist!). When in doubt, act. What did everyone else tell you? When in doubt, stop and think about it. No! That’s why I say thinking is dangerous to your wealth!

Most people who I know that got rich didn’t think too much. They saw a piece of property: ‘This looks good. Anything structurally wrong? Environmentally? No? Good, I’ll buy it.’ Twenty years later they’re very rich. They really planned that one out, huh?

Just as an aside, if you’re really “smart,” chances are you’re not going to be really rich. You’re going to get in your way, a real momentum killer. Those who aren’t too “smart” are open to knowing (A) They don’t know everything the need to know to be rich (B) Will learn how to be rich, even if it temporarily hurt’s their pride to know exactly how far off they were to begin with.

A body in motion will remain in motion and a body at rest will remain at rest. What do we want to do? Get into motion! Once you’re there, it gets easier. We already know that. Now we gotta just do it.

What in your life do you just need to get started and adjust as you go? What have you been waiting for? What’s the fear? Is that true or did you just make it up?

You will make it. Trust yourself. Love yourself and know that you make it all up. It’s your freaking story!

Now we want to hear from you! What are some positive momentum-changers that have worked for you?


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Football Win

If you get a chance, see this movie on DVD called “The Blind Side.” Watching it recently reminded me of some of the core values and principles we’ve been looking at lately.

It’s a true story about a kid from Memphis who had—to put it mildly—an extremely tough childhood through no fault of his own. But he had two things going for himself. First, he was huge, which made him attractive to high school sports coaches. But also, when most others saw him as unintelligent, a caring teacher identified his greatest aptitude: his instinctive ability to protect others.

He was eventually adopted by a wealthy family who helped him get stabilized and properly educated, but everyone was dying to see what he could do on a football field as on offensive lineman. What better place for a painfully shy kid to show of his greatest ability, right?

Problem was he had never played any organized sports. So he’s out there holding the defensive guys (which is a penalty), picking them up and carrying them down the field (another penalty), anything and everything accept the right way to protect his teammates—if the defense wasn’t simply running around him and smearing his offensive guys.

According to the movie at least, his adopted mom pulled him aside in practice one day and connected his natural protective instinct with the emotion of protecting his team as he would his adopted family, whom he came to love a great deal. Once that connection stuck, he became an unstoppable machine. Heavily recruited, he could’ve gone to virtually any college he wanted. Today he’s a pro football star.

His story illustrates something important that we have to get straight in business and in life: Get in the Game! Have you ever had a good idea about a business or a project or something, but you didn’t feel like you knew enough about it, or you didn’t feel like you were really proficient at it, or that you weren’t ready? What ended up happening? My guess is you said, ‘I’ll wait,’ and you never did it, yes or yes?

It’d be great to get things right the first time, but how often does that actually happen? Whatever it is we’re good at, we can always get better. In fact, we have to if we want to be successful in the long term.

The young man highlighted above, Michael Oher (pronounced oar), could’ve been a high-ranking officer or soldier, a policeman, a social worker, bodyguard to the stars—all sorts of paths could have yielded high success and happiness just by him using his natural protective instinct and physical abilities. And he had just about everything working against him from the day he was born.

But it wasn’t just the material resources of his adopted family that saved him. He could have easily walked into that socially and culturally shocking environment, been offered opportunities most kids in situations like his will never have, and said, “No thanks.” Or he could’ve given up, but he didn’t. He made a choice to get in the game and stay there.

Not every story of success has to be about multi-millionaires. People are overcoming adversity everyday, in ways big or small. Do you know any true stories of people overcoming misfortune and finding success? What’s your story? We want to hear from you!

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You can join just about any random conversation and ask, “Can you believe some of the things people think these days?” Who wouldn’t agree with you? There’s always a reason for us to think some other people are crazy just because we all have our particular world view.

However, get a little bit more specific about your beliefs and things change. “I can’t believe people think …” XYZ. Some people might agree with you. Some might give you a horrified look and respond, “Well, actually, I can’t believe people think …” ABC. And then you’re either in for a lively debate or some seriously awkward moments.

We all believe in something, even if we’re not outwardly expressing it all the time. We’d like to think that we derive our beliefs based on “rational decisions.” That’s partly true, but the truth is that we still mostly act on what we believe rather than what we know. How long ago was it that people just “knew” the sun revolved around the earth?

Beliefs are only strong opinions at best. They color and filter our view of everything. The problem is we get used to these filters and forget that we have them on, then we believe that the way we see things is the way it is, which of course may not always be the case. Everybody’s got glasses on, yes? This game involves a bunch of people wearing glasses and making the whole thing up as we go.

In the end, our beliefs are neither true nor false—they can only be supportive or not supportive of our success and happiness. They can be empowering or non-empowering.

For example, how many times have you heard someone else or even caught yourself saying, “I have to work hard in order to earn a lot.” Not exactly the most motivating thought pattern, is it? While we rarely if ever get anywhere by being lazy, though, there are times when working smarter is better than pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion.

Some of our beliefs get so iron-clad into our nervous system that they turn into inflexible conclusions about life, especially if they were unconsciously and often accidently imprinted into us as children, when we have far less experience to really draw educated distinctions between a temporary situation and something that seems permanent and irreversible. The problem is that most people never re-examine the map of life that they drew when they were children, or seek to revise it to reflect who they are today and who they want to be tomorrow.

If we’re making this all up as we go anyway, you might as well believe that you will get what you need to meet your goals, or that you will learn how. Then we go from feeling and thinking into doing, making mistakes, making adjustments, getting some successes and confidence, and then repeating the whole thing over and over.

Eventually, we move away from belief into full knowing—the knowing that comes from believing in something more than what may be evident on the surface, and the wisdom that comes from the experience of testing those beliefs in “the real world.”

Careful what you believe: it can do more than start a heated argument. It can stop you in your tracks before you’ve even started your journey.

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Uncertainty is something most people avoid like the plague. There’s nothing like comfort in knowing we have a place to lay our heads every night, knowing we have things to do, food to eat, materials we need for the basics of a decent life.

If we’re honest, we know that we also need a little mystery, surprise, uncertainty. There’s a thrill to that. The thing is sometimes it comes in forms that we weren’t expecting, and instead of embracing uncertainty, we fight against it. ‘This isn’t what I was expecting! This isn’t the way things are supposed to be!’

And instead of staying in flow, we stay stuck while the universe may very well had intended for us to roll with the change; having faith in ourselves and in life. There is wisdom in embracing uncertainty.

Understanding this, we also come to realize the goals we move toward are rarely going to occur in a straight line from A to B to C. That’s completely unnatural in the universe. It’s literally impossible.

Wealth, money, relationships; success in any arena in the real world happens in a zigzag. You have to expect to constantly correct yourself. Constantly! And when you do that you will eventually land your success. The only time you won’t land is if upon making ‘mistakes’ or thinking yourself a ‘failure’ you give up or you don’t learn anything.’

It’s hubris for anyone to think they’re like a genius and you’ll get it right every time. Maybe you won’t. We have our experience to help us, though, and our desire to learn and become more of what we want, open to the guidance and wisdom of those who have already gone down those paths.

If you’re a perfectionist, give it up. It’s pointless. Mistakes, corrections, mistakes, corrections! That’s the way it is. Mistakes are the natural ways we learn.

What happens to babies when they first learn to walk? They fall! And what would happen if they didn’t learn from those mistakes? They would just stay down there! But they don’t know that yet. Nobody taught them “failure.” Quite the opposite they tend to get encouragement. So they just get up and try it again. Pretty soon, they’ll resent you trying to help them; that’s how confident they become in themselves.

If they were an adult, though, here’s what would happen. They would fall, stay down there, and get real comfortable. ‘Oh, God I don’t even deserve to walk! It must not be meant to be! I should just lie there.’ We justify it or we blame. ‘Mom never taught me right! It’s her fault!’

Imagine how less insecure we become when we get comfortable making mistakes, confident enough in ourselves to say, “That’s okay, because I’m going to get it right next time.” And maybe we won’t! It’s still okay, because the confidence runs so deep it doesn’t matter how many times it takes. You know you’re going to nail it and be happy all the while because you’re implementing this practice into all facets of life, from relationships to business.

What’s your zigzag story? Have you reached a cherished goal by means you never imagined yet you arrived at the destination anyway? There are stories grand and ordinary that shed light on the power of universal correction. We want to hear yours!

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Christmas and New Year’s celebrations, at their roots, have had historic importance worldwide for thousands of years. Many ancient peoples celebrated the Winter Solstice with different kinds of festivals and rituals with themes of death, birth, gifting, praising, etc.

 

Some historians trace New Year traditions back to the Babylonians of 4,000 years ago. For them, this time of year meant paying off debts or returning borrowed items, a different way “resolving” their issues.  There was a sense of accountability as well as celebrating what’s to come. We have our parties and Auld Lang Syne too, yet our resolutions tend to focus on ourselves: losing weight; quitting smoking; or making a million dollars—being better or more than we were before.

 

You don’t need New Year’s to remind you to stay on track toward your goals. Success-building is a daily routine, yes or yes? The fact is, though, that most people are not going to keep their resolutions. Some surveys suggest only about 8% will stick to their resolve by year’s end, and a whopping 45% will fail by the end of January!

 

While the reasons range from fear of success or failure to resolving the wrong things for the wrong reasons, maybe we should resolve instead to grow every day, one day at a time. This is what it really means to be present. It’s not a coincidence that we use the same word to recognize the now-moment as we do to define a gift.

 

The seed of all the great things in our lives—who we are; who we want to be; what motivates our desires, what determines whether or not we achieve success—is happening right now. Everything. If we want quality answers that are meant to ease our anxieties about the future, it means we have to ask quality questions now, which is the quality of present moment awareness. As our awareness expands so does our vision, our ability to be in tune with what is happening—what will happen—as our intuition guides us in spite of uncertainty.

 

Our ancestors wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for planning and anticipation of the inevitability of change, guiding their ability to plant, harvest and know when not to. Nor would they have had reasons to ritualize endings, beginnings, celebration of success or reflect on past mistakes if it weren’t for planning for the change of seasons. It’s in our best interest to plan as much as we can to work toward what we want to see happen. The truth is, though, we don’t always know what’s coming around the corner. We can take educated guesses, but there’s no such thing as absolute certainty.

 

In the end, all we ever really have is now, and this is where we will find our richness. Now is when we can reflect, think, make decisions, act or not act—not tomorrow. There’s always only now. Giving yourself to the present moment is the best gift of all—it’s the resolution that lasts a lifetime, every minute of every day. It’s in the present that all things become possible.

 

From all of us here, Happy Holidays and have a great start to another year of growth, learning, happiness, success, and richness!

 

For your freedom,

T. Harv Eker

Businessmas explaining things

One of the ways we can become worthy of the success and happiness we want to come into our lives is to turn that record over in our head about who we really are. We need an image makeover.

If it comes down to clothes, getting into shape, material symbols—so be it. To each his own. “Dressing for success” to the president of a surfboard company may very well be vastly different than dressing for success to a banker. The image I’m referring to is how we actually perceive ourselves. What is going to determine your arena in money more than anything else is your self-image around money.

The image we want to project is one of somebody who deserves to be a partner in a lucrative joint venture, or someone who is confident enough in themselves to understand they don’t know everything nor do they have to, but they are fast learners who have their own unique value to bring to the table.

There are simply ways in which we can improve our self-image, universal truths we all need to embrace:

Number One: Stop beating yourself up! This is one of those rules like not complaining. There’s no room for self-criticism. Think of it this way: if you really cared about somebody, like a child for example, how would you treat them? How would you talk to them? What kind of tone of voice would you use? We would do that for others, but we treat ourselves like trash in comparison. True or true?

You want to catch self-criticism and immediately transfer that to an encouragement.

If you don’t have the confidence, you’ll never take actions. What kind of life can you live if you don’t trust yourself, encourage yourself! Become your own best friend! Be nice to yourself! If you’re not going to be loving to yourself, then who is? Nobody can love you until you love you!

And you can’t love another person until you love yourself. Until then, you’re ripping them off. You’re the one who starts it. How can you respond lovingly to someone who criticizes you when you don’t love yourself enough to not criticize yourself?

No complaining, no self-criticizing. These are ironclad rules for happiness and success.

Number Two: Practice Receiving Someone gives you a compliment. Most people go, “Oh it was nothing.” How about from now on we simply say, “Thank you!”

So many people diminish their own significance, even when others want to give it to them. By down-playing a compliment, you’re essentially telling the person giving the compliment that (A) You don’t believe them, and/or (B) You don’t believe you deserve to be complimented. So what does the universe do? It responds to what you put out there: ‘I don’t deserve to be complimented.’ The compliments get scarcer, you criticize yourself, and the whole insane cycle starts again.

To paraphrase Mandela, you do no one a service by diminishing your own light. Quite the opposite: you give others permission to let their light shine by being that example. Receive compliments, accolades, praise—and yes, even criticism—with an open heart. You’d be amazed at how that transfer to receive more money for the value you bring to the market and to others.

Image IS everything … and its nothing, a classic Zen paradox. Of course people are going to respond to how we look … we don’t need too many primers on that. But we need to look at ourselves as people who are competent in what we do, have value to give, and deserve to be rewarded for it. The money you “deserve” is a choice in life just like anything else. You choose what you receive through what you do. It’s up to you.

Now we want to hear from you. What are some ways—tradition or spiritual—that people can improve their self-image in any arena of life? It’s all an integrated whole, and poor self-image in one area while underlie all. Let’s close those gaps and enjoy the fruits of the Millionaire Mind!