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The Real Problem is …

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Last week we explored how sometimes we just need to be able to identify what we’re frustrated at in order to begin addressing it. When there are consistent frustrations in a business, we can usually address them but putting systems in place that minimize inconsistencies and produce more of the results we’re really looking for.

It’s another one of those no-duh, no brainers that may not appear like much until those frustrations build to the point of blinding us from the most direct solutions.

But we now want to articulate the impact of that frustration on our business condition. How does this thing impact you? What results aren’t you getting? What’s happening? What’s not happening that you want to happen, or don’t want to happen?

We don’t want to be working on anything that doesn’t really matter. If you’re frustrated because your partner starts their day later than you do, does it really matter as long as the work is getting done? But if that lateness means missing calls from earlier time zones, that could have an impact, yes?

So it’s one thing to name a frustration, and it’s another to know exactly what that frustration translates into toward your bottom line. You’ve got to probe, measure, and quantify that frustration. You might find at the end of the day, you’re really getting bothered over something trivial—or you could find that your frustrations are indeed warranted.

If you have a complex system you’re looking at, this process can take months. So how about a more simple formula?

“The real problem in my business is the absence …” It could be a system that will cost-effectively generate leads rather than be a costly guessing game every time. Or a system that staff can follow consistently rather than doing it their own way each time, producing mediocre or inconsistent results. Or it could be the absence of a system for strategic planning rather than primarily responding to a competitor’s moves.

It’s just a generic way of focusing. You’re not actually formulating a system yet. What you’ll find is some of these things that you describe can actually be purchased as software programs, or you can easily hire consultants who do them much better than you would. But once you’ve figured out what the problem actually is, reformulating starts to become easier.

“The real problem in my business is the absence of a system that will …” Fill in the blank with that generic system solution and then write down your original frustrating condition.

You should start to feel a shift in your energy in terms of some of these things that are frustrating you. The question that you simply have to ask now is: Is this frustration worth fixing? Is this frustration that you named—if it’s not stemming from within you—something you have to address quickly or is it lower on the priority scale?

Do you really want to remedy this frustrating condition or would you rather just live with it? That’s the question that you have to answer.

What do you think? What are some frustrating aspects of running a business that you’ve encountered, and how did you remedy them? Did you find value in naming and understanding the impact of those frustrations? Were some of them really nothing? We want to hear from you!!!

Money is Not the Answer

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That’s got to sound ironic coming from someone who believes whole-heartedly in the benefits of being rich. Forget about getting out of debt, paying bills, buying nice things, etc. That stuff’s great, but at the end of it all you’re not going to give a damn about your credit rating. Money’s the last thing on your mind in that moment, I would imagine.

Money can reduce the stress of living, but it can bring just as much if not more anxiety. I’ve gone through my cycles of accumulating and losing money, getting more and losing it again. The money wasn’t burning a hole in my pocket. I just had a big hole in my pocket and didn’t bother to sew it up. That hole represented something in my mental blueprint that kept me from being stable with money. There was nothing wrong with the money.

On the other hand, people without money often think if they just had enough to do this or that, then things would be better. While that may be true, what happens when the mind goes into ‘Only if …’ consistently? That’s exactly what you get … ‘only if.’

‘This will only happen if…’

All of a sudden nothing’s happening and you don’t even know or remember that rule you created. In business that thinking often translates into “It takes money to make money.” No! If you have money it can certainly grow more money, but it doesn’t take money to make money. It takes creativity to make money.

Throwing money at a problem is disaster! In business there’s no such thing as a money problem. That problem grew out of somewhere else. You want to fix the root of the problem. If you throw money at a business problem, you’ll have the same business problem for the rest of your life and no money. Creativity and knowledge are the answers, not money.

It’s also not logical to blame money for people’s shortcomings, or the world’s for that matter. Obviously there are people that are rich and greedy, but there are poor people who are greedy and there are middle class people who are greedy. There are rich, poor, and middle-class people who are generous. There are rich, poor and average income people who can be both generous and greedy, depending on the stress they’re going through at any given time.

To say rich people are greedy as a blanket statement is just as unfair as saying poor people are lazy. I’ve met many a hard-working poor person who just hadn’t yet turned the corner on working smarter instead of just harder.

Money can’t be the root of all evil. Envy, jealousy, and greed—all based on fear of not having or getting enough of something we want—pre-dated currency (think about the story of Cain and Able). It’s a part of what it means for us to be human.

If money isn’t the cause of all that’s wrong, it’s not going to be the cure either. It’s not the answer. It’s the fruit of our expansion—or lack thereof—beyond ourselves and of the impact we’re having on the world. What we choose to do with that is a result of who we choose to be, not because of money.

Faking Out Your Fears

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Our lingering resentments and unresolved conflicts derail what is otherwise a universe that’s waiting to put us on track for success. We just have to open to the awareness that what we say we want and how we unconsciously operate often contradicts one another. If the universe were able to feel, it’d be just as frustrated by our blocks as we are.

Once we open up, we can start resolving past hurts, realizing that the pain may have been understandable for that time, but it’s only going to cause further damage if it’s not attended to immediately. So we mend, sometimes bending to meet another halfway, even if nothing about them has changed. We forgive them not for their sake, but for our own good. We can’t control who they are or how they’ll respond, but we can be effective through our sincerity. If our forgiveness releases them from pain too, bonus!

As important as all of this is though, the root of it all is as natural as our ability to breathe. It’s fear. It’s a part of us. We’ll never get rid of it. No amount of wisdom or experience will ever be enough to prevent it. We just get better at faking it out.

When you really think about it, the mind isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s useful for sure, but only after we’ve attained a certainty degree of emotional maturity. I would go so far as to say also a level of spiritual maturity, but that’s not even the main point. There’s got to be something else within us aware of its control over our mind and emotions. If we let either of those control us, we’re not much better than self-trained apes or temperamental drama queens!

The brain is a tool, but it’s also got … a mind of its own. Its mind is not to make us successful. It’s not concerned about us thriving. Its purpose is for our survival at a base level. Its job is to anticipate what’s coming and preserve our basic needs within that anticipation. In other words, the mind lives in a future reality that doesn’t even frickin’ exist yet! Our mind creates the greatest soap opera script. It makes up incredible stories, usually dramas and disasters that never happened and never will.

The secret to freedom is to realize that you don’t have to believe your mind. You don’t have to believe your story. You don’t have to believe that voice in your head. You don’t have to believe your own thinking. You can simply observe it and say, “Thank you for sharing,” and then take the necessary action you’re scared to take anyway.

One of the biggest mistakes that most people make is waiting for the feeling of fear to subside before they act. It’s not necessary and it’s impossible anyway. Rich and successful people have fear, worries, and doubts. They just don’t let those things stop them.

Don’t resist taking chances. Take them like vitamins. Let go of the brakes. Don’t worry about the bumps and bruises. You can take them. Don’t steer around what scares you. Go over. Go under. Go around or go through. Do something others would be terrified to do. You will feel your chin rise up from your chest and there will be one less thing you can’t do. Just freaking do it!

Forgiveness

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Last week we took a look at how anger is one of the bitterest pills you can swallow. It’s the pill that doesn’t dissolve. It just sits there, potentially poisoning any and all good that comes into our lives.

You can’t have a fresh start to a relationship—with people, money or anything else—until you’ve cleaned up that lingering resentment with your parents, spouse, friend, lover, relative or whoever hurt you in the past. If you don’t clean that up first, you’ll drag that hurt with you.

A quote that I really like is from a book called ‘Your Cosmic Destiny’ by W.A. Chapman. It says, “Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”

So how do we let go of anger? We looked at opening ourselves to the other person’s perspective: there might be something going on that we didn’t know about.

The other part of letting go of anger is to forgive those people, even if they were dead wrong; even if they’re still freakin’ jerks. We all do the best we can at any given time. It may not be one of our best moments in life, but it’s the best for that time. Understanding this simple truth makes a huge difference in letting go.

Whatever happened to make us so upset, it’s not the event that has us any more. It’s the story about the event and our choice to keep that story alive. All we have to do is remind ourselves that both us and those we’re angry with were not getting (or perceived we weren’t getting) what we wanted, and both www.fertileheart.com/clomid-clomiphene-infertility-treatment/ side’s reactions are based in fear. Our conditioning blocks our higher selves from stepping back and looking at things as they are, not as we fear them to be.

When we become aware, though, we now have an opportunity to make new choices. We can consciously choose to come from our higher self—be the person we know we can be—forgive and move on, remembering that punishing them any longer only hurts us.

So you don’t necessarily forget but you do necessarily forgive. Forgiveness is the key because when you release them from their deed (or non-deed as may be the case) you automatically release yourself from the anger and negative emotion around that deed.

It’s been way too long, with too much hurt and too much pain. For your own sake, tell whoever you need to that you forgive them, or that you’re at least willing to let it go. Forgiving is not condoning, and it’s certainly not forgetting. Forgiving is our way toward healing.

Here’s what’s important to remember, though: do not expect ANYTHING from them! Heck, in your mind that person “deserves” your forgiveness, but they may feel like they don’t need any forgiving. They might actually be resentful toward you, but that’s okay. It’s not about them. The process is for you. Say your piece, hear and accept their side, and be on your way in peace.

What was the most impactful result of forgiveness that you’ve experienced—from either side of the equation? What significant changes in your life happened as a result of clearing anger and resentment with someone important in your life? We want to hear from you!

Poor Receivers Don’t Get Rich

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Receiving the Keys

What kind of receiver are you? If you’re reading this, chances are you consider yourself a giver of sorts. You might even beat yourself up a little bit for thinking you don’t give enough. Then again, there are those who think they’re givers but really aren’t.

The point is we tend to focus on giving as “goodness”; of feeling good or intending good. But what kind of receiver are you? Do you take compliments bashfully? Do you say, “Aw, it was really nothing”? Do you tell them to stop teasing you, or that you weren’t fishing for a compliment?

One of the big reasons most people don’t reach their full potential, financially or otherwise, is that they are very, very poor receivers. ‘You’re not worthy’ because of the way you look, or what you do, or how much money you have, or don’t have.

You’re worthy because the Great Spirit, or Universe, or God, or whatever you want to call a higher power, has put you on the earth at this time. There’s nothing else to think about! Since you’re as worthy as the next person, you’re as deserving to receive as anyone else. Anything else that your mind says around that is made up, non-supportive crappola!

And then there’s that phrase that a lot of people heard when they were young, and we still hear it: “It’s better to give than to receive.” Of course it is, isn’t it?

I’m sorry, but let’s just call that what it is: bad math! If both have to be there for the other to exist, how on earth could one be better than the other? How is that possible? Somebody enlighten me please!

By the way, the original buysoma.net intention of that ‘better to give’ statement actually translates more correctly into ‘It’s better to be in a position to give than in a position where you need to receive’.

In other words it’s better to be rich! Some people will read that and get that little twinge of guilt—How can I so selfishly justify wanting to be rich? Fine, I understand, I was there too, so let’s try this from another angle.

How does it feel to give, especially when that person didn’t ask you for anything yet you knew they were in need? Most people say it feels great, yes? It’s especially the grateful receivers that make us feel even better about our giving, yes?

But if you’re not willing to receive, you’re ripping off those people from the other side of the equation who want to give. And we’re proving that both giving and receiving are great. Two birds with one stone. If you’re in a position to give, that’s wealth—whether it’s money, time or kindness.

So here’s your practice. No more returning compliments for a specific time! If someone gives you a compliment, you’re not allowed to give them a compliment at that time because it dishonors them (of course use your better judgment, but you get the point!).  Returning a compliment because you think you have to robs them of the full joy of giving you the compliment. And it robs you of receiving.

The key is to recognize that whether you’re “worthy” or not is a feeling, not a fact. It’s a story that you made up and now you own. Disown that! Receive with the same joy that you give.

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