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<\/p>\nQuick story: When I was 13, I got my first set of golf clubs. We lived right across the street from a driving range, and I got to play all the time. I loved it, and I got pretty decent, which made me feel good.<\/p>\n
Then as a young man, I stopped playing. I was struggling to get by, my confidence was shot, and I didn\u2019t feel like I had time or money for fun things like golf.<\/p>\n
Years later, after achieving a lot of business success, I decided to give it a try again\u2026 and I stank.<\/p>\n
At first, it was no big deal. I figured I was just rusty, and I\u2019d get my chops back pretty quick.<\/p>\n
But that didn\u2019t happen. I started taking lessons, practicing, trying different swings\u2014nothing worked. I couldn\u2019t get nearly as good as when I was 13! Can you believe it?!<\/p>\n
I was rich and successful at this point and had been for some time, but I noticed something interesting. When I would play golf and not do well, I wouldn\u2019t feel very good about myself.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t like, \u201cOh my God, I\u2019m a terrible person.\u201d It was just, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I do this better? It\u2019s ridiculous. The ball doesn\u2019t even move. There\u2019s no opponent trying to tackle you. You just have to hit the ball!\u201d<\/p>\n
It might sound silly, but I would get a little upset with myself. Even with so much to be happy and grateful and proud about in my life, my golf game could really throw off my mental game.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve heard this kind of thing from countless people over my years as a coach and teacher.<\/p>\n
For a lot of them, when they\u2019re doing something they\u2019re not so great at, their self-esteem suffers a little bit. And for some, it suffers a LOT!<\/p>\n
We may know we shouldn\u2019t attach our self-worth to anything so dumb, but we do it anyway.<\/p>\n
And measuring yourself like this can drive you crazy! It drains your energy and takes away your happiness.<\/p>\n
Not a great way to live or create success\u2014true or true?<\/p>\n
So what can you do?<\/p>\n
Well, you need to learn how to handle it\u2014to not get so thrown off by these external things, and to get back on track fast when you do.<\/p>\n
You need to train your mind. That\u2019s what I want to help you with now.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We all have an important part of our mind called attention<\/strong>. It\u2019s like a strap-on headlamp\u2014 the kind you might wear for camping or walking around at night.<\/p>\n Everything is dark, but wherever you point your lamp, something lights up. That\u2019s all you can see.<\/p>\n Everything else still exists, but the only thing that exists for you in that moment is what you focus your attention on.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re at a restaurant in Los Angeles, things are going on in New York and Barcelona and just around the corner, that you know nothing about.<\/p>\n But let\u2019s say you get out your phone and looked up today\u2019s news in Barcelona. Suddenly that becomes your focus, and wow, that exists for you now, because you changed where you were pointing the light of your attention.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the secret: the focus of your attention determines the quality of your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n So you need to focus on things that help you feel good, enjoy life, and accomplish your goals.<\/p>\n This is hard, and most of us will never get it anywhere close to perfect. But you have to do your best because the alternative sucks!<\/p>\n Left to its own devices, your mind can create a disastrous life for you. Its job is to protect you, so it\u2019s always trying to turn your attention toward threats.<\/p>\n That might be an intimidating looking person, criticism from your boss, or shame about a mistake you made.<\/p>\n Imagine your boss yelling, \u201cYou totally screwed up! What\u2019s the matter with you?!\u201d You focus on that, and you can\u2019t let it go. It\u2019s on you like a leech.<\/p>\n You might focus on it for the next three months, playing it over and over in your mind and dragging out the hurt, anger, and sadness.<\/p>\n If you do, what do you think your life is going to be like for those three months? Terrible!<\/p>\n And if there aren\u2019t any threats, your mind is always ready to make something up!<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think Joe likes me. He never smiles at me.\u201d Well, maybe Joe\u2019s depressed or going through a divorce or hates his job. Maybe it has nothing to do with you!<\/p>\n Regardless of what your mind says and regardless of what it\u2019s about, it\u2019s always the same voice, that I call \u201cmindfrick.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s mind friction. It fricks you up and slows your growth. Life would be clear, simple, beautiful, and smooth if you didn\u2019t have friction, but you do, because of the voice in your head.<\/p>\n So what do you do about your mind? You\u2019ve got to take the bull by the horns and recognize that the voice in your head is not the voice of God. It\u2019s not even the voice of reason. It\u2019s the voice of fear and ego.<\/p>\n You\u2019ve got to intercede and change the focus. You must control your attention.<\/strong><\/p>\n When you feel like your self-esteem has been shrunk or you\u2019ve got a raging case of mindfrick, number one is to bring your attention back to your center\u2014your true self.<\/p>\n Your true self has no attachment to how well you play golf, what your boss said, or what Joe might think of you.<\/p>\n Your true self is all about expansion, love, and presence. That\u2019s it. And all of that will give you connection and energy. All the other crap that\u2019s in your head is just crap in your head.<\/p>\n The best thing to do is focus on the present moment, paying attention to what you\u2019re doing right now and noticing that everything\u2019s okay, there\u2019s no immediate threat.<\/p>\n For example, you might start the day like \u201cOkay, gotta go to work and face the boss again,\u201d and to defuse that situation from being upsetting, you can stop, and focus on what you\u2019re doing. \u201c I\u2019m putting on my shirt. Do this top button. Now do the next button. That\u2019s good. There\u2019s my jacket, let\u2019s put that on. Let\u2019s see. How does my hair look in the mirror? Not bad. Now we\u2019re going downstairs, one step at a time. Nice. Very good.\u201d<\/p>\n Meditation can be a great way to develop this skill of presence because you\u2019re practicing coming back to the moment.<\/p>\n When you meditate, you think about your breath. And if you think about that meeting coming up, and \u201cOh, I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m ready,\u201d you catch yourself and come back to the moment, and your breath.<\/p>\n Now, I said the best thing to do is come back to the present. But let\u2019s say you\u2019re like me a lot of the time\u2014 you\u2019re not so enlightened, and it\u2019s hard to get present. So you\u2019re not going to be perfect the first time.<\/p>\n But when mindfrick is wreaking havoc and you can\u2019t come straight back into the present moment, there\u2019s an intermediate step you can take.<\/p>\n You can use a positive trigger.<\/p>\n A positive trigger is a thought\u2014 something that makes you feel empowered, loving, and happy.<\/p>\n Personally, I have a pretty short laundry list of go-to positive triggers. I’ve got each of my kids. I\u2019ve got my partner Michelle. I\u2019ve got my mother. Or I think of a time I helped someone in a big way and how I want to do that more.<\/p>\n It\u2019s like having a trusty weapon readily available that zaps away negativity.<\/p>\n I put my attention on one of those things, and that silly thought about my golf game goes away. So try this now. Write down one positive trigger for yourself, and make it a picture that you can see.<\/p>\n The more vague it is, the less useful it\u2019ll be in the heat of the moment.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re experiencing mindfrick, you need something very specific and visual to focus on. And it needs to be something you have a powerful, positive, emotional connection to.<\/p>\n Start with just one thing, and don\u2019t change it for a while. Make it a habit. Just one go to positive trigger that turns your attention away from negativity.<\/p>\n And remember, this is an intermediate step. Once you\u2019ve settled down, you want to come back to the present moment.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a big difference between reality and fantasy. Mindfrick is fantasy, but the intermediate step is, too. If I\u2019m going to choose between two made up stories, I\u2019d rather have a positive one than a negative one, but they\u2019re both fantasy.<\/p>\n Only the present is real. And that\u2019s where you tap into the power to create your life the way you want<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Now, remember\u2014you won\u2019t get this perfect every time. And that\u2019s ok. You have to make a practice of focusing on the present moment and using your positive trigger to help you get there. And please share in the comments below what your positive trigger is!<\/p>\n The world and your mind will always try to keep you in fear and struggle, or at best, the comfort of your personal status quo, even if it\u2019s shitty.<\/p>\n You have to keep practicing shifting your attention toward something positive and towards something that serves you in your life. And because this is so difficult, it\u2019s a very good idea to get support.<\/p>\n I want you to sign up right now so I can share with you the real reason most people don\u2019t achieve their goals and 3 keys to creating true success in life.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2019\/02\/control-your-attention-300x225.jpg\")
How To Control Your Attention \u2014 Method #1<\/h2>\n
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What To Do When Method #1 Doesn\u2019t Work<\/h2>\n
\n\u201cWhat about golf? I don\u2019t give a shit right now. Who cares?\u201d<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2019\/02\/feeling-empowered-300x225.jpg\")
So to help you get started, I have a very powerful and FREE training that covers this whole topic in much more depth. It\u2019s called…<\/h3>\n
The Ultimate Life Makeover.<\/em><\/span><\/a><\/h3>\n
Click here<\/span><\/a> to reserve your spot and start upgrading your life today!<\/h3>\n
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