{"id":3655,"date":"2019-07-29T13:32:06","date_gmt":"2019-07-29T18:32:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/08925f71d5.nxcli.net\/blog\/?p=3655"},"modified":"2019-07-29T13:32:06","modified_gmt":"2019-07-29T18:32:06","slug":"money-blueprints-with-significant-other","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/money-blueprints-with-significant-other\/","title":{"rendered":"Money Blueprints: How To Get On The Same Page With Your Significant Other"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">What do you do when your partner thinks about money differently than you and doesn\u2019t support your way of handling it?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I get asked this a lot, so if this has ever been an issue for you, you\u2019re not alone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Actually, disagreeing about money is one of the <span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shape.com\/lifestyle\/sex-and-love\/top-10-reasons-breakups\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span class=\"s2\">top causes of relationship breakups<\/span><\/a><\/span>. It\u2019s sad but true.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The answer to this question comes down to your \u201cmoney blueprint\u201d, and in my book, <i>Secrets of the Millionaire Mind<\/i>, I talk a LOT about your blueprint \u2013\u00a0your subconscious beliefs around money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Your money blueprint single-handedly determines your financial life, because your thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to actions, which lead to your results. Yes or yes?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Thoughts \u2192 Feelings \u2192 Actions \u2192 Results<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The question then becomes, \u201cWhy do you think the way you do about money?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The answer is <b>conditioning<\/b>. You were <i>taught<\/i> <span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/worst-money-ideas\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span class=\"s2\">how to think about money<\/span><\/a><\/span>. <b>You didn\u2019t come out of the womb with money beliefs. You <i>learned<\/i> them. <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So how are we conditioned around money, success, and wealth?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Verbal programming \u2013 what we\u2019ve heard,<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Modeling \u2013 what we\u2019ve seen,<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">And specific incidences and experiences we\u2019ve had.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">No money blueprint is true or false or right or wrong. It\u2019s just how you\u2019ve been programmed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Some people are savers. Others are spenders. It\u2019s not a good thing or a bad thing unless it\u2019s overdone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">You do want to spend some of your money and enjoy it. And you do want to invest it. And you do want to save.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">For everything, the keyword is BALANCE. And one of the great things about having a partner is that you <i>can<\/i> balance each other out in how you handle money, so neither of you go to extremes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">But that\u2019s only <i>if<\/i> you can listen to each other and get on the same page.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_6330\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6330\" style=\"width: 800px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-6330\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-holding-hands-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-holding-hands-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-holding-hands-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-holding-hands-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-holding-hands.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-6330\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><strong>For everything, the keyword is BALANCE. And one of the great things about having a partner is that you can balance each other out in how you handle money, so neither of you go to extremes.<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2 class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">How Money Blueprints Cause Problems For Couples<\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The problem is that in couples, one person has money blueprint X, and the other has blueprint Y. Again, neither is right or wrong. They\u2019re just different.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">But most people don\u2019t recognize this. They say, \u201cYou\u2019re an idiot. You don\u2019t know how to handle money. We\u2019re gonna be broke if you do what you\u2019re doing. <i>This<\/i> is the way we should do it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">It\u2019s always, \u201cMy way, my way, my way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This is why relationships end. They\u2019re trying to protect their way because they believe it\u2019s right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">My ex-wife is a wonderful person. She had a money blueprint that said, \u201cMoney is to be utilized and enjoyed. Spend it while you can. Enjoy every second of it. Spend it on things. Spend it on people. Spend it on gifts. Go for it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">There were never any thoughts about investing for the future in her mind, and that\u2019s not right or wrong. It\u2019s just the way that she learned. She was actually rebelling against her parents because they were extreme savers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Me, on the other hand, all I wanted was financial freedom \u2013 having all the money we needed and not having to work if I didn\u2019t want to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When she was spending our money, to me, she wasn\u2019t spending our <i>money<\/i>. <b>She was spending my <i>freedom<\/i>.<\/b> She was making it so that I would have to work for the rest of my life. That\u2019s all I saw.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And on her end, she was looking at me like, \u201cYou\u2019re so stingy. You just want to invest and save\u2026 and you don\u2019t care about enjoying life!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And this is what many, many couples do. So what\u2019s the solution?<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_6331\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6331\" style=\"width: 800px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-6331\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-6331\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><strong>The problem is that in couples, one person has money blueprint X, and the other has blueprint Y. Again, neither is right or wrong.\u00a0<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2 class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">How To Get On The Same Page About Money With Your Partner<\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">In the <i>Millionaire Mind Intensive <\/i>training program, I teach that you must sit down with your partner and have a respectful conversation. Be curious, listen, and find common ground. Here\u2019s my <b>3-step process for how to partner with your partner around money<\/b>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"s1\">1. Talk With Your Partner About Your Money Blueprints<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Step one is to sit down with the person and work to understand both of your money blueprints, without judging either of them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Agree that both blueprints came from other people and situations. Find out where they came from so you can understand each other\u2019s fears and motivations.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Ask questions like:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">What did you hear about money and wealth from your parents when you were young?<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">What did you see when it came to money and wealth?<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">What did you experience around money and wealth?<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">You might say, \u201cYou seem to believe in saving. Where did you get that from? I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s right or wrong. It\u2019s a very good thing when in balance, but where did you learn it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Then your partner could share, \u201cThat\u2019s from my mom. My dad spent every cent we had. Thank God my mom held on to a little bit of money. She kept saving and saving, and that\u2019s what got us through college. If it had been up to my dad, he would\u2019ve spent it all.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This person\u2019s blueprint has been telling them, \u201c<b>Saving money is going to save <i>us<\/i><\/b>. Otherwise, we\u2019re going to spend it all, and we\u2019re never going to have it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Having this kind of conversation helps you understand each other, AND it helps you both <i>feel<\/i> understood. This builds trust, so you can then work on finding common ground.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_6334\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6334\" style=\"width: 800px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-6334\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-2-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-2-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-2-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-2-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-going-over-finances-2.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-6334\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><strong>Step one is to sit down with the person and work to understand both of your money blueprints, without judging either of them.\u00a0<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"s1\">2. Agree On Your Money Goals<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The next step is to find that common ground by seeking a compromise solution that works for both of your money blueprints.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Ask yourselves, \u201cWhat do we want together? What is our goal together here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">If I sat down with my ex-wife and said, \u201cWhat is our goal here?\u201d I\u2019d say, \u201cMy goal is to have financial freedom.\u201d She\u2019d say, \u201cMy goal is to have fun and enjoy our life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I\u2019d say, \u201cListen, I want to enjoy our life too. Would you like to one day be financially free and not have to work all the time?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">She\u2019d say, \u201cOf course!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I\u2019d say, \u201cGreat, so here\u2019s our common ground. I want to be free and enjoy our life. You want to be free and enjoy our life. Nice. We both want the same things here.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Most of the time when you have a different blueprint than the other person, you still want the same thing in the end.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">It\u2019s pretty obvious. Nobody wants to be a hermit and live under an umbrella for the rest of their lives. They want to enjoy their lives. They just don\u2019t understand how to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">It\u2019s all about balance and integrating each of your blueprints. So you say, \u201cHere\u2019s <i>our <\/i>goal. We both want the same thing.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Once you establish your goals, the question becomes, \u201cHow do we work things out so that we save some money and spend some money, and do it in agreement? How can we balance our money and each get what we think is important?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_6336\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6336\" style=\"width: 800px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-6336\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/4\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-smiling-happy-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-smiling-happy-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-smiling-happy-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-smiling-happy-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/files\/2019\/07\/couple-smiling-happy.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-6336\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><strong>The next step is to find that common ground by seeking a compromise solution that works for both of your money blueprints.<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"s1\">3. Have A System For Managing Money<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This is where having a great money management system becomes essential, so you both know how you\u2019re handling things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">If you don\u2019t manage your money, I guarantee your money will manage you, and you won\u2019t ever be free or comfortable. That\u2019s just the way it is.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The method I teach is called the <span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/blog\/6-step-money-managing-system\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span class=\"s2\">JARS money management system<\/span><\/a><\/span>. It\u2019s very simple, which is a big part of why it\u2019s so effective.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">It creates the opportunity to have a perfect balance in all worlds \u2013 to spend money, have fun, save, AND eventually be financially free. And that\u2019s what most of us want. Yes or yes?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Learn this system or whatever system you prefer, but start agreeing on your goals and how you\u2019re going to manage your money to get there.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And when you get off track, which happens sometimes, you can go back to the agreement and say, \u201cHey honey, I really feel uncomfortable. I\u2019m afraid that\u2026 \u201d Use that word \u2013 afraid. It brings out empathy. Open a new conversation to get back on the same page.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Remember, we all have a different money blueprint, and we all think ours is right. So to recap, in order to get on the same page with your partner, you have to:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Give them the space to share what\u2019s important to them and how they see things.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Then agree on your goal.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">And finally, create a system to achieve it.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">There\u2019s no doubt that these 3 steps above will help you both get ahead financially. But there\u2019s a lot more to it if you want to reach total financial freedom.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Freedom means never having to worry about money and never having to work if you don\u2019t want to. It means always having enough to cover not only your basic needs but also living a great lifestyle where you don\u2019t have to skimp on the pleasures of life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And financial freedom doesn\u2019t happen by accident \u2013\u00a0to get there, you need a plan.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">But don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m here to help!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I\u2019ve developed a complete system for gaining true financial freedom so you can eliminate money problems and enjoy life at a whole new level. And I want to share it with you! Good or good?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">To discover this system for yourself, join me for my FREE web class, <\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/ftf\/invite\/?utm_campaign=ftf-08-2019_content&amp;utm_medium=post&amp;utm_source=blog&amp;utm_content=ftf-blog-money-blueprints-with-significant-other&amp;utm_term=cta\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span class=\"s3\" style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><i>The Fastrack to Freedom<\/i><\/span><\/a><span class=\"s1\">. <\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I love teaching this class because it really changes lives.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">There are enough problems that can come up in life without having to worry about money, so let\u2019s get this part of your life working really well.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I look forward to helping you take control of your financial future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">What\u2019s your money blueprint? Where do you believe you got it from? Leave a comment and let us know!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>For Your Freedom,<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"img-responsive indentedSignature\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harveker.com\/wp-content\/themes\/harveker-responsive-2016\/images\/harv-signature_blog-footer.png\" alt=\"6 Simple, But Impactful Tips To Become A World Class Speaker &amp; Trainer\" data-lazy-loaded=\"true\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do you do when your partner thinks about money differently than you and doesn\u2019t support your way of handling it?\u00a0 I get asked this a lot, so if this has ever been an issue for you, you\u2019re not alone. Actually, disagreeing about money is one of the top causes of relationship breakups. It\u2019s sad&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5645,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13,19,28,5,2],"tags":[21,99,100,44,24],"class_list":{"0":"post-3655","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-communication","8":"category-money-and-finance","9":"category-money-management","10":"category-personal-development","11":"category-popular","12":"tag-millionaire-mind","13":"tag-money-blueprint","14":"tag-money-management","15":"tag-success","16":"tag-t-harv-eker","17":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Money Blueprints: How To Get On The Same Page With Your Significant Other - T. 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