”
*Sign up here to receive Harv Eker's Million Dollar Life Lessons, event notifications, and special offers.
Be Right or Be Happy
If you’ve ever related to another human being, you’ve probably experienced this.
You’re having a discussion with someone, and he or she says something you know as a matter of fact to be absolutely false. You can politely challenge this person’s inaccuracy, but most people don’t want to be wrong, and many others have a hard time admitting it. It’s human nature, our inner-fear mechanism adapted to today’s insecurities rather than the old “fight or flight” days. But depending on who you’re talking to, proving to somebody that they are wrong can get awkward if the people involved take it too personally.
Even when all evidence points to them being wrong, some people will stubbornly hang on to their views because they’d rather be right and comfortable in being wrong rather than risk the discomfort of having to assimilate new information into their worldview.
As a matter of fact, the people who are the most righteous are usually the most miserable people on this earth anyway, aren’t they? The ones who always have to be right are usually just taking their insecurities and unhappiness out on others, yes or yes?
Being right doesn’t always mean being happy, but if we’re happy it doesn’t really matter who’s right or wrong. Being right isn’t as important a consideration when you’re secure and focused. The only thing that’s important is: will the experience move me toward a result that I believe will support my happiness? That will mean being wrong sometimes, but we have to experience this in order to learn how to get it right, and then get happier.
Be right or be happy. Now replace the word “rich” with “happy.” Does that change the meaning of the phrase any? Not one bit! You can be right or you can be rich; it’s still a choice. Being right could mean holding on to old ways that aren’t supportive of being rich; unconscious blueprints, programming and conditioning that links negative thoughts to money. The more you decide that you want to be right, the more you’ve decided that you can pretty well kiss away being rich, not just financially but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally too. You can be right or you can be rich.
Money is a really blessed thing, and if you have the where-with-all to be able to earn or have a lot of it, you have an advantage over a situation; a gift, talent, skill or way of being that is actually a little different than most people out there. At that point, who needs to be right?!? The quality of your life is all the proof you need.
That doesn’t mean compromising your good sense to someone because of their inflexibility, but happy people don’t need to prove anything. They figured out that along the way, you have to be wrong at least occasionally in order to learn how to get it right. I’d rather be wrong and learn something that will benefit me later than “right” and learn nothing—and maybe get someone PO’d at me for being a smart-ass!
Do you have any stories of something that seemed like a disaster but actually turned out to be one of the greatest gifts you’ve ever received? An occasion where you were actually glad that you were wrong? We want to hear from you!
17 thoughts on “Be Right or Be Happy”
Leave a Reply
This is a struggle I have every day. I have to decide if being right is important in the cases you describe above. If allowing someone to be wrong is going to affect my business or family negatively I will make sure it is set right. But if it is not that important then I will let it go because there are a lot of times no matter how hard I try I will not convince the person.
Josh Bulloc
How can I help?
Happy, rich and successful people do not need to be right, that is a major breakthrough for me. Thanks
Thank you Harv for sharing….be right or be happy/rich/healthy etc. happens so often in our daily lives that I think is a very common but essential part to share with others to make them aware….
Greetings
Patricia Masius
from Holland/the Netherlands
It happens to me when i am telling a elder person in the family about my experience at a purchase of something, the response is totally out this world by them telling of the same situation saying “been there, done that, got the T-shirt” when clearly there situation is no where near the same. They would like to think they are right and that is ok with me, cause my experience says i know different.
Beautiful Harv! As always!
Thank you Harv! After taking eleven courses from you over the years I credit you with my saying, “I'd rather be happy than right!”. It is one of the many gifts that has changed my life because of all that I have learned from you! Thanks and Aho!
With love and admiration,
Dyann
It's so important to have an open mind. Also, I think the reason why most people fear being wrong is because of our programming and conditioning all throughout school and college where we are penalized for being wrong. There is a lot of de-programming and reprogramming that needs to take place for this to change.
I love the photo you chose for this blog post… it really shows how being attached to being “right” all the time is obnoxious! Funny.
In my industry (network marketing), being “right” is an obstacle for some people because being “coachable” is much more important. In network marketing, be coachable instead of right, and you will be happy and rich!
I rather be rich than try my very best to prove that I am RIGHT cos some people are just too egoistic to admit that they are wrong (although they knew it too well). the truth hurts, so why do something that is not beneficial to myself and others
https://questforblisspersonalgr…
You are so RIGHT about this one!
Thank you, Harv. I am always gratified to see this conversation spreading. Hallelujah. Thank you for taking a stand for success. I am proud to wear the T-shirt, carry the banner, sing the song, and stand up for others' owning their successes
Being wrong has given me humility, and helped me be a role model for my children and my associates. I love welcoming it more easily, and surviving mistakes! Mistakes are the path to success. They mean that I am still in the game and on my way to figuring out what works.
Great point Harv,
Using energy to justify or be right will not get you anywhere. Life is full of experiences that teach us many things. It's impossible to always be right cause you don't know everything about life! Being happy gives you the opportunity to learn from life instead of shutting down by having to be right.
Val 😉
I decided to mary right and happy and then chose to see right from others people's angles. Now my life is full of right angles
Now I am always right, happy and I enjoy seeing how right everyone else is. The moment you see you were wrong you are right! It's very fun.
Being right is the confinement by the rich on poor because they need them to work right always, you are always scared of being wrong when you are insecure,answerable or when others have high expectations from you, right is monotonous & new creative things can happen only when people have guts of being wrong & try differently, be happy & be right only in your perspective.
Fear is common for us all being right is what we all think we are until someone proves us wrong. And happy is what we all crave weather rich or poor. Thx Harv
Successful people think both