Negotiating Skills: Learn to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Learn These Negotiating Skills to Get What You Want

Whatever’s coming at us in life – is it happening because we somehow deserve it? Did we ask for it?

Sometimes it’s our blueprints that limit what the Universe brings into our lives. People unconsciously punish themselves over something that happened a long time ago but they haven’t forgiven themselves. Or they feel guilty about actually getting what they want. Sometimes there’s a part of us that feels like we don’t deserve more.

Other times, things happen out of nowhere; extreme challenges hit us out of the blue. If we’re honest with ourselves, there’s a part of us that will ask, however briefly, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Learning The Power of Persuasion

How we think about what we get in life—the meanings we attach to events and circumstances—will impact the quality of our lives. So it doesn’t pay to give too much credit to the Universe when things go right, nor too much blame when things go wrong and we don’t get what we want.

Success starts with us and our attitudes—and we’re grateful when the Universe gives us a nudge in the right direction.

We have the power to ask for and get what we want. People who are successful at it are considered “smooth-talkers,” with just a hint of resentment behind that tag, as if they’re just lucky to be born with the gift of gab.

Some people do seem to be better at it than others, but the power of persuasion is a learnable negotiating skill. If a kid in a marketplace can do it, for heaven’s sake so can you!

Most people, though, go into a negotiation assuming that they’re going to get raked. Either they don’t bother trying to negotiate out of fear or talk themselves out of getting the deal they want by believing they can’t get it or don’t deserve it.

That’s actually a big thing for a lot of people—the belief that getting what they want must mean that they’re taking something away from someone else. Of course that’s not true—the best negations are win-win scenarios.

You Have to Ask for What You Want in Life

In business and in life, ask for what you want! What’s the worst that could happen? The other person says no? So what if they do? People are so afraid of receiving “no” into their lives they don’t even try.

One of the best negotiating skills is speaking the truth. Let the other person know how you’re feeling. The idea of good negotiations is to work together so you both get what you want and you both feel good and you feel the deal is fair.

When you ask someone, “What do you want?” they’ll usually tell you what they want. When you ask, “What do you think is fair?” they’ll usually tell you what they think is fair and balance your part of the equation.

Don’t get attached to the whole thing, and it’s actually a lot of fun. There’s a feeling of success that builds confidence once you master negotiating skills, but there’s also a sense of fulfillment when you actually get what you deserve in life and in business.

And as the saying goes, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you can negotiate. Let the Universe sort the rest out for you.

Tell us your experiences with stepping outside your comfort zone to get what you want. Was it a business experience? A personal experience? We want to hear from you about how you’ve improved your negotiating skills!

UP NEXT: Practice Learning from Mistakes and Embracing Uncertainty

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