Do you struggle to get in touch with your feelings? If you don’t learn how to express your feelings, they’ll end up festering until they boil over. Find out how to properly articulate what you’re feeling to release your emotions every day.
How to Express Your Feelings
Do you have ongoing feelings that are just there constantly; that irritate, upset, or disappointment you?
When I talk to students, I get the feeling that a lot of people feel disappointed in parts of their lives. They feel disappointed, frustrated and think, “Why can’t I fix this? Why can’t I be where I want to be? Why can’t I do or have what I want to have? I don’t understand. I’m trying. I feel like I don’t have any control over this.”
That’s very frustrating, isn’t it? When you have these feelings of inadequacy or frustration, I want to offer you these three steps to take:
- Get in touch with your feelings
- Accept that you are human
- Do things to feel good about yourself
3 Steps to Learning How to Express Your Feelings
1. First, it’s important to get in touch with your feelings in the first place. The more you hide them, the more they’re under the surface. They get lodged into the cells of your body, and they stay there and stick like poison. They stay there forever until you acknowledge them by bringing them up to the surface and figuring out how to express your feelings. If you don’t have anyone to articulate them to, pick up a piece of paper, a pencil or pen, and journal your feelings.
I promise you this is huge because I know that I’ve gone from feeling like semi-crap recently for many weeks, to feeling pretty good. It all started with me expressing my feelings and getting in touch with them. I learned to open up about them even if no one’s around, and I began journaling, as well.
2. Secondly, it’s about accepting that you and I are just human beings, that we will have feelings, that we’re not weak for having these feelings. They’re not negative feelings. Feelings are feelings. It’s only you and I that make them positive or negative. We all do this to ourselves. The most important thing is to recognize that you’re the one who’s labeling these feelings. Otherwise they aren’t anything but what they are: feelings.
3. Do things that make you feel good about you. When you can’t do as much as you’d like to, the worst thing you can do to your happiness and state of mind is make yourself feel bad about yourself. If you can’t do something outdoorsy because of injury limitations, or can’t go where you want to go because you’re broke, engage your mind in something: reading, writing, whatever your down-time thing is, do it!
Embarrassment is not bad. Disappointment is not bad. I’m not saying they’re necessarily good, but everything is neutral. Remember that. I needed to get a kick in the pants recently to remember it.
Get in Touch With Your Feelings so They Don’t Boil Over
The most important thing you can learn to do is get in touch with your feelings and learn how to express your feelings. Once they’re out there, it’s not that hard to release them. All you have to do is look at them, and they won’t look so scary anymore.
That’s why it is essential that you begin to see what’s inside of you because what’s inside is always going to come out. When you’re angry, people smell it on you. You don’t have to tell anyone you’re angry. They already know, or they know there’s something going on with you, and they’re not attracted to it.
I’m not saying that it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s not a good thing if it festers inside of you and you don’t bring it to the surface. Trust me…I will be following my own advice, and I will be doing this same exercise as you on a continuous basis.
I really learned something literally in the last few days about the importance of my feelings: that they’re okay, and to make sure they don’t get stuck inside.
Try this on for an exercise. It’s an old idea from Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way and it’s called the Morning Pages.
Every morning, before you brush your teeth even, write non-stop and whatever is on your mind without editing, for 5-10 minutes. No matter how ridiculous, how vulgar (respect your privacy, of course), how immature, childish, whatever…just write!
See how that feels for a few mornings, then tell us what you think. Share as much as you’d like, but tell us about the experience. We want to hear from you!
For Your Freedom,
UP NEXT: Balancing Your Left Brain vs. Right Brain to Reach Your Full Potential
Wooow…very intresting…thank you soooo much♥♥♥♥
Great advice. Yea I feel like those students often because I’ve been trying to ‘make it’ financially for 15 years now and am still not there. I have made huge progress and become a much better person during this time.. but the money thing seems to elude me which can bring up feelings of frustration, doubt and even anger. Despite this, I feel I’m on the right track as I have good things happening (in business) and I’m still open and learning, and willing to change to become who I need to be to become financially well off. Anyway, love your daily blogs.. keep ’em coming! Will try this ‘feeling writing’ this morning. H
Wonderful!! Really great!!!
Thanks
Ahh journaling. I’ve ask my daughter to rid my journals should I unexpectedly pass. It’s private and other than this beautiful adult I was blessed with raising…keep it that way. I’ve had a lot of anger to overcome due to so much dysfunction within my family. Having raised my nephew since he was two and now 15. He s been suffering from extreme migraines since nine on top of knowing his parents continue to choose drugs over him. He’s a walking ball of anger!! Nothing like seeing a child go through mental hell to make you take a long look within!! He used to be so much fun but that s unpredictable now. Sigh. I still have hope for him. I still try to pass good his way. But I had a lot of anger to release from all of this and yes I continue to work on this. We are not perfect . I do know I have much more happy now. Gratitude plays a huge part for me. This morning the sun is shining. I lie in a clean comfy bed. Have clothes. Have pets. Have great health. Food. Yes I can continue on and on. Learning what really matters in life is always great. I can and plan to go for a morning walk and take in the fresh air. Life is good. Thanks for the lesson. Loved this. Namaste and much peace.
Have you tried essential oils for your and his emations. I have coached many people with troubling pasts and oils unlock the emotional turmoil inside
“Using essential oils is an invitation to heal”. Jeffrey Yuen.
THANK YOU HARV!!!! That was the exact perfect thing for me to read this morning!! A gazillion thank yous.
I hope you have a great day.
Feeling your feelings does help release them. It even works with pain.
When we try to escape our feelings or try to avoid them, they magnify, they get worse, and they hurt more.
I know when I get caught in focusing on how bad, mean, horrible, hateful the situation is, the worse I feel.
When I do what Harv says and journal about how and what I am feeling, I often write myself into a solution on how I can take responsibility for what I am feeling, and identify how I can change, heal, or even love the situation and take action to make it better.
Exellent, keep in touch with your emotions and you will overcome many difficulties and struggles. Use “reframing” to change emotions when they are overwhelming.
Good morning, when I waked up today, I was surprise because I saw my email, and I was feeling dab, but after read the link o bout feeling I realice it’s in only a process, and how do you say I’m human.
I feel much better to have a wonderfull day, Thank you
Great Advice Harv
I write journals everyday. Take long walks when I am feeling anxious or overwhemed. My longest walk was climbling the Himalayas in May 2017.
Keep up teh great service you do for us all.
Regards
Pradip
Thank you so much that was exact perfect time to read this ….much relieved now…will follow what you say:)
Thank you very charming man Harv Eker for contacting me and contacting me about Million Dollar Question and what is inside the head and yes you are very intelligent and as a young baby been boys or girls a baby development is formed by parents or guardians and hope compassionate and not less compassionate and caring parents help as mine as I was a baby girl and my parents cared for me luckily throughout my life and not in a so bad manner we had disagreements specially when I was a sensitive teenager and not too crude wondering how I was my feminine body not to bad and collage clerical studies and trying to become an adult woman by feminine body not too ugly average not like Kate Moss and have some education and professional career. It was an average clerical profession and look after my parents my dad and mother as well Yes there were negative and positive experiences in my life from tutors to work colleagues and so times I felt although I so tried not to negative was negative and therapy to regain a positive attude in myself and manner and as you suggest blocks in the mind and reduce blocks in my mind. Hope all is fine in your professional career, personal life and relationships and your a very intelligent and charming attractive man and enjoyed your seminar and thank you for contacting me and hope no resentments or problems and hope so lovely occasions.
Wow! I have recently learn to accept my feelings. We live in a society where we are expected to be happy all the time. And with social media everyone is posting that perfect moment and sometimes it’s confusing because you think you are the only person experiencing the feeling is sadness, or the feeling of I’m not good enough or I’m not doing enough for my business. I found now that I’m accepting these feelings when they come up allow me to move past them a lot quicker.
Thank you so much for this post!
Nice blog. I often feel like the “wallet” or “doormat” for those that live with me. It’s been festering for 2 -3 years.
I am too nice for my own good. So the freeloaders need to go or start really pulling their load but not in talk but action and real money.
If not, find somewhere else to live. I’m done.
I’m more right brain too. Going to start journaling. Although I don’t have a problem expressing my feelings.lol
Thanks for the advice!
Harv, you are abolutely fabulistic! I have gone to several of your seminars and read all your books and you still manage to come up with things that always help. THANK YOU!!
I already do this everyday with EFT tapping. I also journal but tapping helps along with facing your fears and your feelings. Yes, sometimes the feelings will continue to come back but keep doing it, as their strength diminishes as you continue to face them. Being in acceptance of your feelings instead of being at odds with them, makes all the difference in the world.
Thank you for that message, I really needed to read this today, it’s a process for me.
In deed feelings are just feelings it’s we who gave it this or that interpretation. But the people who are strong and powerful have the ability to express them in a very simple and natural way.
Sadly i do’nt know how to express my feelings that is why since childhood i have stuffing them and carrying them around no one taught me how to express them. The result of all that is messed up relationships and living a life of pain and confusion. I wish there was a solution to all this. Thanks
Reading a meditation and then doing morning pages has brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion . Joy and sorrow. But helps me to be able to face my day without carrying extra baggage throughout my day.
Hi Judy, I’ve experienced the same things. The past few months I’ve been meditating and reading whatever I can get my hands on that will enable me to understand, and forgive myself for not being where I believe I should be. The more I research, the more I find, the more vulnerable I become and open to change. Ive found it to be very liberating and free.
Thanks t harve eker
Its most important lesson
It is very important for us to acknowledge that we are human.
Once you realize that life will be easier for you .
Even just acknowledging feelings helps dissipate them. I remember being in a foul mood in a grocery line. I must have had quite a scowl on my face Because the clerk jumped when she looked at me. I told her I was angry and all of a sudden the anger was gone and we had a laugh over it.
Thanks; a lot this has already helped me.
Thanks; a lot this has already helped me just start doing these simply steps.
I finally come to accept that I am a natural born manifestor. I don’t have a problem, expressing myself, for I learned long ago that it’s unhealthy not to. But, am still having difficulty celebrating myself. I believe that I should have more and in a certain timeframe. So, I have a tendency to put these invisible time lines upon myself and then become anxious and frustrated when it doesn’t quiete work out as I envisioned. However, since meditating, reading, and journaling whatever I can get my hands on, I’m learning to live in gratitude, have patience with self, and be consistent, no matter how small/large the task I’ve completed toward my goals.
Gracias Harv! Normalmente estoy de buen humor, soy fuerte, entusiasta y perseverante. Sin embargo, hoy no amanecí bien anímicamente y terminé sintiéndome peor por sentir decaída y triste, pero tienes razón….Soy humana y no siempre estaré feliz…y no esta bien tratar de tapar eso…es mejor dejar aflorar mis sentimientos y ponerme en contacto con estos, que sentirme mal o débil por sentirme alguna vez triste….Leí esto cuando realmente lo necesitaba. Gracias por todo!! Dios te llene de bendiciones.