Learning how to stop bad habits takes time, forgiveness, and personal accountability. It can’t be done overnight. Follow T. Harv Eker’s advice to develop a process for transforming bad habits into good habits.
Process for Learning How to Stop Bad Habits
Conditioning is a tough topic, yes? We know we can be better and do better. Additionally, we know we have so much to offer ourselves and others around us. However, we all have these bad habits that get in the way sometimes.
There are the obvious bad habits, like:
- Vices and diets that are bad for your health
- Not getting enough sleep
- Sleeping too much
- Lack of exercise
Alternatively, there are the bad habits that can be insidious, like not keeping your word to yourself or to others. What’s that about? Well, it could be a couple of things. It may come from not understanding how important the issue is that you’ve neglected. It could also be a subconscious disrespect of the other person and yourself.
But mostly, it’s just pure bad habit.
Developing Good and Bad Habits Over Time
Like I’ve said before, we’re all freaking robots. The minute we’re born, we’re a spiritual person who accepts the conditioning of a personality. Before, our mind is an empty place. It’s a brain that’s just a file cabinet waiting to be filled up. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have a brain that was so adaptive to learning.
A lot of the things we learn aren’t necessarily good or bad. Instead, they’re either helpful or not, depending on what we want to do.
Now what do you do as a robot? If the robot is not keeping its word, do you beat it up? No. You just need to change the programming. You need to teach the robot something else to do.
How do you do that?
First of all, the robot is very good at understanding an awareness of the process that says, “Robot, we’re not keeping our word, and we would feel better if we kept our word, so we want to do that. Will you buy in with me?” Of course it’s going to say, “Yes.”
You plead with your robot again, “From here on out, we’re going to do that, right robot?” While the robot may say, “Sure,” you know what happens the next day. The robot just does what it was programmed to do, doesn’t it?
What do you do? You gotta give the robot, not a drastic change in programming, but an easy one.
You say, “Robot, do you think you have the capability of keeping your word one time?” The robot says, “That’s easy. I can do that.”
Robots like really easy things. You go ahead and keep your word, and you do it with intentionality.
Then you say to your inner robot, “You felt so good about that, do you think you might be able to do one more change?”
“I could do one more. Of course I could!”
Now it’s just a question of memory and saying that when you say you’ll do it, you do it.
How to Stop Bad Habits One at a Time
If you want to replace a bad habit with another, better habit, you have to take on one thing at one time. Only then can you make worthwhile, long term changes.
Don’t say, “I’m going to commit to a new habit for 30 days.” You’re going to set yourself up for failure. Why? It’s because you’re a frickin’ robot. If you’ve been running another program for X amount of years, 30 days of new momentum is outstanding and not something that just “happens.”
While you can make 30 days long-term goal in the back of your head, for now, you should take it one step at a time. Focus on just one day at a time.
Now, what if you don’t keep your word on this one particular new habit, or you don’t do your new habit even once? You take a nice deep breath and say, “Thank you for doing the best you could today. You did not complete what you said you would. Would you be willing to commit for tomorrow?”
Practice Forgiveness
It’s okay to forgive yourself. After all, habits are deeply ingrained. It’s okay that it takes time to honestly figure out how to stop bad habits. You’re literally pressing your robot’s restart button. Robots do what they do. They should always get another chance.
Remember, I’m the first guy in line to give tough love when it’s needed by my students. That’s what your teachers and mentors are for sometimes. However, even I think that you shouldn’t beat yourself up about habits that are tough to change. We’re born this way.
Still, we’re also creative enough to forge new paths. We’re imbued with gifts that allow us to create new ways of being. Kind self-accountability is what we’re looking for here. There are enough people in the world who are eager to beat us up, especially when we’re successful. Don’t do it to yourself.
Take on your transformations one at a time, one step at a time, and watch just how easy it can be to change bad habits.
Challenge yourself to use this simple process with a particularly difficult habit you’ve been wanting to change. Now, let us know what you’ve learned about how to stop bad habits! We want to hear from you!
For Your Freedom,
This lesson was a good first step, but now I want you to look at your life. Do you have everything that you want? Success? Inner peace? Amazing health? Fabulous relationships? If not, join me on one of my upcoming web classes, “Don’t Believe A Thought You Think”, where you’ll learn exactly how to have all the success, inner peace, health, relationships, etc. that you want and deserve.
Click here to reserve your free seat today!
UP NEXT: Stay Focused on Finding Success Through the Power of Intention
Thanks Harv. Your words are a concept that I apply in my life. I admire you.
Thank you so much, Harv!!! That’s very inspiring. The most useful tool for me to change bad habits is Tapping. All the best to all of you
Hi Harv
Pretty awesome explanation. It is so hard to commit to something when you have to do a complete opposite of what is typical for you to do.
Shall have to remember my robot brain. We were definitely a blank slate at one time. I never thought much about that we learn one thing at a time, so to retrain our brains to do such a huge commitment becomes so foreign to us. It should not be surprising that we can’t stick to a new task, even if it is for our own good.
Mary
Es estupenda tu enseñanza!! Gracias Harv
Hello Mary, just writing in response because of a comment that I thnk is beign disproved now. As infinite soul, piece and wholenes of Loving, yes I think we’re creating perpetual “blank slates” as we release and dissolve one creation with our energy for a new one. On the 3D level however, it seems that we don’t come in blank slates at all, but carrying already the experience of Mum in her womb and her experiences reactions, and also carrying ancestral memories back to several generations, likely why we choose a specific family etc. for whatever we are coming to learn-give-release. As the experience is always about Choice, as Love’s gift and beingness. Not the circumstances or situation but what we will do with them.. What do you think (sense-feel-know) about this?
Dear Harv,
The perfect timing for your ‘reboot robot’ lesson!! I was praying yesterday for God to please help me ‘rewire’ and not to be afraid of changing for the better and really challenging myself to be better and do better. One day at a time, one step at a time, and one action at a time.
Here goes…..
Thanks for the confidence boost Harv.
Sandy
Constantly changing for the better. This began when my daughter arrived. I moved away from family to start new. I’ve been a work in progress every since lol. My daughter later in life ask me if I was adopted. Best compliment ever. 2008…eliminated negative souls from my space as well. New learning has been tough but we’ll worth all the effort. Now I have your education coming in as well,thank you! I am most grateful. Peace an namaste.
I particularly liked the statement;” there are enough people that want to beat us up for being successful, we don’t need to be one of them”. So true, I have dealt with Jealous people my entire adult life and those who purposely try to help me or encourage me to fail. I keep working and working knowing that someday I will have the money to show that I am successful , even though I do not believe money makes one successful, the majority of the world does. I consider myself already successful even though I haven’t made 100k yet.
Dear Katie, O darling, who taught you to create that, that that was all you were worth? (PS You know the answer to that one. ) how about dissloving that out of your system, you sitting down and having a talk with yourself to clarify, because of course those people and relationships are coming in response to what you believe yourself to be, that you picked up from first years , usually. So what about releasing that as the obvious BS that it is, and clearing in your own view of you. Those others will disappear and certainly lose their power or importance over you in two flicks of a lamb’s tail. And Harv’s good sense and big heartedness is a great place to start for building concretely your new, and real view of Who you are really. I find that in the end, what if all that were your soul’s choice to bring you to know that there is only love and truthfulness as Who you are, living how false those other responses are to your heart and real knowing. Then your money making is celebrating your love of yourself and your capacity to give from integrity of that Love you are, not tied to them as being made responsable (sic..as that’s impossible., it’s always ourselves responsable for our choices of how to be) for their choices or they for you. Ahhh, there’s the real freedom eh…and truthfulness, another name for Love in my book. What’s the title of your book that you’re writing of you? Bon courage, and good dancing.
Excellent Mentor, Thanks a lot!
“One transformation at a time; one step at a time.” Profound yet simple. Do-able.
Great teaching! God bless you.
Muchas gracias Harv
Has cambiado mi prisma de ver el mundo. Me has inspirado y revolucionado mi vida. Todo ha cambiado y yo lo estoy haciendo tambien. Estoy superando mis miedos y estoy domesticando mi mente. Mas archivos de riqueza y menos mente pobre. Amo a la gebte rica . Adoro a la gente rica. Bendigo a la gente rica . Y yo tambien voy a ser una de esas peronas ricas. CAMBIARE EL MUNDO
Muchas gracias.
I love your ‘tough love’ teaching, Harv. I am getting past thinking I’m an IDIOT for not keeping commitments to myself – its been a long journey but progress daily!! I am now being a lot kinder to myself….and patient.
It IS happening!!!! I have learned SO MUCH from you – thank you so much.
un grand bonjour…..merci….
You’re such a New Yorker luv, you are, Harv Eker. Brilliant. Laughing at the dialogue with the robot. I wonder if that goes differently for us as women and our inner dialogue. Not with robot, which is how a man might feel as he lives his humanness through that optique. (re: the automatique of erections and response that are part of that learning experience..the point being where you will direct that energy and your choices and honesty about that). I’d say, ) As we know that part already in our bones when we come here to live as female human beings that for us, it’s speaking with the disconnect maybe, so often needed in these societies , with their unkind and abusive religions, to survive , vs live fully and joyfully our divine sexualities, starting with that with the men. For another place that, but touching here. And Harv is speaking of a general human part of the brain that goes for what it knows as safe, because known and therefore predictable and “controllable”. Curious as to others’ comments on this. I would addresss that part in me as female as the protector maybe, who knows that anything can change at any moment, that life is change, why they wouldn’t allow “themselves” to commit to 30 days, but to each step, checking “is this working? Am I protecting her? Yes? Ok , if you (that’s I the woman person) are safe and well and respect me for my bravery and good management, ok I’ll do another step in this potentially dangerous process!!”, yes.. Your thoughts?
“You’re literally pressing your robot’s restart button.”
– Figuratively. You mean figuratively.
Excellent Mentor, Thanks a lot!
I’ve read the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth 3 times now, and each time I get something new out of it. Teaches you to expand your mind, how to think like a highly successful person, teaches you to eliminate previous ways of thinking and expand your horizons. Truly motivating.
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ya he empezado a cambiar mi vida con el ULTIMATE LIFE MAKEOVER SYSTEM
“You’re literally pressing your robot’s restart button.”
Well… Figuratively. Right?
I mean, you don’t actually OWN a real, physical robot. We’re talking about the automated habits in our mind, right?
So in that case, we aren’t “LITERALLY” pressing any real buttons of any actual, physical robots. We’re doing it in a figurative, metaphorical sense. Which is the exact opposite of a literal sense.
Other than than, good article.