Learning how to let go of anger is a critical step in your personal development. Without it, you’ll hold onto resentment that could prevent you from finding success and happiness in your life.
Learn How to Let Go of Anger for Personal Development
Of all of the negative emotions we have to deal with, the most debilitating of them is anger. Anger can run and ruin lives. That’s one reason why it’s so important to turn your focus toward learning how to let go of anger rather than holding onto it for years.
I was angry at my dad for years. When I was a kid, I had this coin collection that I was really proud of, and I kept the coins in this piggy bank. My dad knew where I kept it and one day it was just gone. My prized collection that—in my mind at least—I worked so hard for just disappeared. Eventually, the piggy bank reappeared, but when I angrily accused my father of stealing … let’s just say he responded pretty angrily, too.
I thought of it as one of those things that ‘just happens,’ and you move on, yes?
Throughout my adult years I never re-examined that incident. I never considered his side of the story. My perspective was, “I’m right and that’s that!” Fine and swell except for one problem: I unconsciously decided that men weren’t to be trusted with money or anything else. The anger and distrust were holding me back, not him. Think that had an effect on my long-term success and happiness?
Don’t Let Your Past Experiences Determine Your Future
Most of us are run by our past circumstances. We play the victim role based on an idea that it’s all our parents’ fault for how they raised us.
‘You want me to be a success? I’ll be a failure just to show you what a lousy parent you were!’
The most important thing to the conditioned mind is to be right. And when we’re angry, it’s usually about not getting what we want. So, we feel justified in our position in the moment. Then, we retaliate by not giving the person that we’re angry with what they want. Meanwhile, we’re often going down the drain with or without them, true or true?
So, five different cities, 12 different businesses, 14 different jobs and 35 years later, I learned my dad was actually showing my prized coins to his poker buddies. He didn’t want to confuse my coin collection with the poker pot so he just kind of stashed it away and forgot to put it back where I kept it. He was proud and protective, not a thief. Only when I became aware of why I wasn’t settled down—as a form of rebellion, anger and retaliation—I was able to make a new choice and build lasting success in life.
Holding on to anger and resentment only hurts you! You feel it, not whoever you’re angry at. It gets stuck in the cells of your body, not theirs. It makes you sick, not them. Even worse, sometimes that anger might actually be totally unwarranted, a simple misunderstanding. It’s not worth hanging on to. Instead, you need to learn how to let go of anger and resentment to focus on finding success and happiness in your life.
Your turn! Search your past for an emotional incident that resulted in your getting angry about something that concerned money and/or at least one other person. The idea is to simply re-look at the past situation from your current and (possibly) more mature point of view and consider revising it so that it doesn’t haunt you anymore. What’s your story? We want to hear from you!
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Katie says
For many years I have been angry for my family not supporting me regarding my being sexually abused by some neighbor boys. They are too forgiving, too easily they push my pain away without giving me support when those men come around me.
I have finally let go of the anger and see them as naive emotional children living in adult bodies, and that it isn’t their fault that they cannot have empathy.
I push the anger away, it does me no good and it doesn’t help me move on.
Joy says
Hello Katie,
I understand the trauma that you went through. I am a therapist trained in various healing modalities. May i suggest that you try inner child work or breathwork. These healing sessions helps to overcome deep rooted traumas that can’t be logically worked through our conscious mind.
Wishing you lots of happiness
Joy
Isolde Kühn says
Hallo…:-)
Meine Situation betrachte ich jetzt von einen reifen Blickwinkel.
Dankeschön für die wunderbare Aufklärung.
Ich bin jetzt dankbar und ich kann jetzt auch über meine Situation lachen.
Loslassen….einfach loslassen und Gott danken für dieses Erlebnis.
In meiner Gegend,war der Brauch zu Weihnachten und zu Ostern bekam jedes Kind einen Schokoladen-Weihnachtsmann und einen Schokoladen-Osterhasen geschenkt.
Mein kleiner Bruder freute sich so und hatte diese leckere Figur gleich gegessen und war so glücklich.
Ich versteckte meinen Weihnachtsmann oder Osterhasen immer und wollte diese Figuren später essen und auch teilen.
Mein Bruder fand aber immer das Versteck und freute sich darüber und er aß alles auf.
Meine Eltern und mein Bruder haben darüber gelacht und ich habe geweint und ich habe mich verletzt gefühlt.
Heute lache ich darüber und ich danke Gott für meine wunderbare Familie.
Im Leben wurde mir immer alles weggenommen ,alles was ich aufgebaut hatte,bis zum Tag der Vergebung.Ich habe meinen Eltern und meinen Bruder vergeben und lache heute über diese lustige Geschichte.Diese Geschichte war in meinen INNEREN FEST UND WAR SO KRAFTVOLL.
Heute wenn mein Bruder zu mir zu Besuch kommt,er muss immer nach Schokolade suchen und dann lachen wir darüber und freuen uns,das wir gemeinsam die Schokolade essen können.Es ist so schön und so süss.DIESE WUNDERBARE SÜSSE SITUATION GIBT UNS FREUDE UND SPASS UND WUNDERBARE ENERGIEN STEHEN IM RAUM UND WIR DANKEN GOTT DAFUER.
Wie wird sich mein Leben verändern….?? Ich werde berichten.
Herzliche Grüsse aus Deutschland Isolde Kühn
Regina says
My situation is that my mother and father divorces and my sister felt rejected. So there’s that. and my mom felt guilty about the divorce and my sister manipulated her with the guilt. My mom would yell at us because she was angry, and my sister put me down to make herself feel superior, a false sense of superiority and security. When I finally had it, I yelled at my sister one day and she wrote this awful note about, “if I ever see her car in front of the house, you better not come in.” So I felt like ti wasn’t safe to go home. Even now, I rent a place and do not have a mortgage -which is a blessing- but I feel like I can’t go home for fear of being seen or that I don’t control the environment. I am very controlling. I need to ask to take me off the hook, but I need to take her (and everybody else) off the hook.