Want to learn how to negotiate better? Read on for T. Harv Eker’s top 3 negotiating tips: ask for what you want, never come out with a number first, and tell the truth.
How To Negotiate Successfully
I don’t watch a lot of television, but this one commercial sticks out to me about a kid who was born with seemingly the ultimate confidence: asking girls out for dates even though he’s clearly shorter and younger; graduating college when most graduate high school; performing open-heart surgery in a crowded concert hall with a ballpoint pen. But when it comes to negotiating a fair price for a new car, he’s frozen in his tracks.
One of the reasons I think that commercial works so well is because it taps into a common fear that a lot of people have; how to negotiate. No one wants to feel like they just got conned.
Tip 1. You don’t get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate
If you think about it, though, we’re using negotiations all the time: reaching agreements with our loved ones, friends, or employees. “Where do you want to eat? What movie do you want to see? I think I deserve a raise of …”
If you settle for Italian food rather than the Chinese you really wanted, it isn’t that big of a deal, is it? In business, though, you potentially have so much more at stake while negotiating. Whether you’re a buyer or a seller, you want to get better pricing and more favorable terms. As the old saying goes, “In business you don’t get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate.”
For a lot of people that’s disheartening because they either think the strategies of negotiating are beyond them or because there may even be a little guilt factor; if they win, the other person is losing.
First of all, both parties can win, and if anything, you want to avoid win/lose or lose/lose situations altogether. Secondly, even if you have the best intentions, you can’t make choices for your fellow negotiator, but you can always help yourself by doing this one simple thing: ask for a better deal.
People are so afraid of hearing “No” that they often don’t even try. You have nothing to lose by just asking! A good friend of mine once told me, “Harv, a closed mouth won’t get fed.” Open your mouth! Say something if negotiations aren’t going the way you’d like.
Tip 2. Never come out with a number first
There is one thing you do want to hold back on: never come out with a number first. Why? Because they now have the flexibility to make countering statements and reasons why not to go with what you want instead of affirming statements (For example, “That’s not in the budget”). You want to say things and be in a position to force them to admit, “Yes, that does make sense.”
Tip 3. Tell the truth
The best negotiating tool is, to tell the truth. Know what you want going in and the absolute least/most you can go that makes sense to your bottom line. Then communicate that to them. The idea of good negotiations is to work together so you both get what you want. You both feel good and the deal is fair. Win-win scenarios are not always going to work out, but better to aim for that—or choose not to enter into a deal that will leave either party resentful.
Ask for what you really want, be truthful and fair, don’t get attached to hard feelings if things don’t work out, and you might just find that negotiating is a LOT easier and actually more fun than you originally thought.
Along with negotiation, there are 6 specific principles that I believe are the difference between getting rich and staying middle class or broke.
I reveal each of these 6 principles in my web class, Zero To MultiMillionaire.
I’d be honored if you were my guest on my next class.
Click here to reserve your free seat now.
So now it’s your turn! What are your feelings on negotiating? Have you overcome obstacles in this area? Do you still struggle when closing the deal? Share your thoughts here.
I think the difficulty of negotiations have to do with the fear of rejection. When we propose what we think is fair and truth for us.. or what we “deserve”, we may face another opinion in the other side, This puts us “down” in the negotiation battle, because the other party is trying to tell us that we don’t deserve what we propose… and we are not good enough for what we are asking for. They are in the position to say that, since they want to lower the cost or change the deal… BUT we do not take it that way! We take it personal!
We are afraid to face this reality… as we “usually” go to negotiations with the an emotional charge of “not being enough!!
I am working on this!
I thinks you encounter that situation as your deals seem to be too good for you and not too fair for the other side.
Things that you can solve by declaring what you want and trying to make the other side getting also what they want.
Or at least a fair portion for both
Thnx Harv, I use the WIN-WIN premise when I advise my Miiitary clients with car buying. You have affirmed my approach.
Great advise
I am deeply grateful for your consistent valuable guidelines on various important topics. I am unable to get to attend your webinar or download material for various reasons but i do read each and every Mail Posted to me and cherish the instructions by trying to incorporate them to the best of my ability.
Some time back while attending a MMI with Harv’s team, we learned a very useful and powerful negotiating phrase. I use it quite often and it works. Ask the seller these eight words, “What’s the least amount you can live with?”
It is a good way to get to a price that is fair for both parties.
Thanks Harv, I never realised negotiation was one reason I failed in getting the good deal. I’ve tried countless times to convince my boss and we don’t seem to get anywhere. I think the problem is I wanted to win all the time. This is the answer “negotiation”.
What if one is older (50+) and overqualified during the interview process?
Negotiating is a communication skill which requires flexibility.
Thanks for your work
I am one of these annoying people who always negotiate 🙂 Even in regular stores I will often get merchandise for a lower price than the price tag that it comes with. These are good strategies that you recommend. On my part I can add – do not give up too easy and do not be afraid to walk away from a deal if you don’t like it. Oftentimes you will hear the other party yelling into your back “Stop! Wait! Let’s talk about this!” 🙂 In my family we say “Those who never negotiate will never win”.
When it comes to negotiating I have generally done pretty well in the past – UNTIL I run into someone who is either 1)Testing me just for the joy of making things more difficult than they have to be or 2) Testing me just to pick my brain 3) Or both. These are the areas where I could use more patience and strategizing eventhough it feels like an incredible waste of time – there is always something to learn from every situation. Even seemingly unnecessary aggravating situations when trying to “Close the deal,” because we don’t live in a “cookie cutter world” and the time we invest in learning how to deal with difficult people is a priceless tool for any successful business.
Thank you Harv! It is true we actually negotiate almost every day and we never realise. I’ve been a relationship recently and it has been working out WIN-WIN.
Business wise, clients are the most important part of the chain. We learn to be better in communicating with clients plus understanding their needs before ours.
I have a millionaire mind!
Hi Harv, you are a great teacher. I have learned lot from all your articles and videos. And now I introduce my kids to your teachings.
Keep up the good work..
Hi Harv, Great info! I think another aspect of negotiation is the need to be firm when you are on the receiving end of a service that has not been properly or completely satisfied. So, it depends on which end of the spectrum you are on, the service provider or the customer, and whether or not you’re in a position to negotiate. Just as the saying goes about closed mouths not getting fed, a person needs to be aware of where they stand and apply the necessary level of “toughness” to either protect their interests or obtain what is due to them, in order to avoid being taken advantage of.
I’m really a bad negociater, because always I’m thinking to feel the other person good and I don’t care how I felt
I lOVE to Negotiate ! Like a downhill putt in golf, I love downhill puts too. I practice them…
Keep in mind if you are negotiating, you are in the game, you are at least on the golf green
of business. And you are closer to winning when you are in a negotiation.
Great work harv.
In my field, people likes negotiating with every piece of product even with the ones below $2. However, i lost big deals for being ‘straightforward’ before i actually realised it…..it’s not like my competitors are selling a cent lower, i just found out people like discounts more than anything here in Nigeria.
Thanks harv, Thanks.
I believe that what you expect from the Universe will come to you, actually when you are offered a choice, if you expect the most value that is what will attach to your thoughts and reality first, so you bring the Universe of your longing and dreams into fruition. The negotiation is the Remote Influencing (ARVARI) result. Example is that I went to have an interview at a job site. The night before I went, I decided the salary I would except and nothing lower, or I would turn down the job. Well beautifully so, the interviewer gave the low end of the salary $100 dollars above what I had desired. IT WORKS! I waited until the end of the interview to decide to tell her what I would accept, after she gave the range! Happy for the Negotiation after my ESP Remote Influencing thought process.