I believe anger is one of the bitterest pills you can swallow. It’s the pill that doesn’t dissolve. Instead, it just sits there, potentially poisoning any and all good that comes into your life. While it’s difficult, letting go of anger is vital to your happiness. Below, I’m going to tell you how to begin learning to let go and prioritizing forgiveness over all else.
How to Begin Letting Go of Anger
You can’t have a fresh start to a relationship — with people, money or anything else — until you’ve cleaned up that lingering resentment with your parents, spouse, friend, lover, relative or whoever hurt you in the past. If you don’t clean that up first, you’ll drag that hurt with you.
But how do we let go of anger?
Finding Forgiveness
A key factor to letting go of anger is to forgive those people, even if they were dead wrong. Forgive them even if they’re still freakin’ jerks. We all do the best we can at any given time. Understanding this simple truth makes a huge difference in letting go.
Whatever happened to make us so upset, that event no longer has any power over us. Instead, we’re giving that event power through the story we tell ourselves about it and our choice to keep that story alive. To break out of this mindset, all we have to do is remind ourselves that both ourselves and those we’re angry with were not getting (or perceived we weren’t getting) what we wanted. Both side’s reactions are based in fear. Additionally, our conditioning blocks our higher selves from stepping back and looking at things as they are, not as we fear them to be.
However, when we become aware, we now have an opportunity to make new choices. We can consciously choose to come from our higher self — be the person we know we can be — and forgive and move on. We can do this by remembering that punishing them any longer only hurts us.
Forgive Even If You Can’t Forget
This shows that even if you don’t necessarily forget, you do forgive. Forgiveness is the key because when you release people from their deed (or non-deed, as may be the case), you automatically release yourself from the anger and negative emotion around that deed.
For your own sake, tell whoever you need to that you forgive them, or that you’re at least willing to let it go. Forgiving is not condoning, and it’s certainly not forgetting. Forgiving is our way toward healing.
However, it’s very important that you remember that you should not expect ANYTHING from them! While in your mind that person “deserves” your forgiveness, they themselves may feel like they don’t need any forgiving. They might actually be resentful toward you! Still, that’s okay. It’s not about them. The process is for you. Say your piece, hear and accept their side, and be on your way in peace.
What was the most impactful result of forgiveness that you’ve experienced — from either side of the equation? What significant changes in your life happened as a result of clearing anger and resentment with someone important in your life? We want to hear from you!
For Your Freedom,
Hopefully today you learned how to let go of anger, but are you still struggling to live your best life possible? One that’s filled with happiness, balance, and fulfillment? 90% of people are, but you don’t have to! Attend my FREE 80 minute class called, “The Ultimate Life Makeover” to learn how.
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Franck says
Thank you for this amazing article Harv, I took note and I apply it, while I am finishing my 2018 plan.
I’ve just added one more duty my to-do-list before January 1st, 2018 , Make a list of people that may hurt me in the past, or that I think to get hurted by any of my past actions or words, and then apologize or forgive for anyone in my lists!
Thank you again for your great inspiration!