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Category Archives: Mindset

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Behind Every ‘Problem’ is a Bigger You in Waiting (But Only If You Believe It)

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Girls can do anything!

If you think having more money means you’ll have fewer problems, then think twice about wanting to be a millionaire. Problems and obstacles don’t stop, you just get a new set of them.

Wealth and poverty aren’t distinguishable when it comes to problems, or, as I like to think of them, challenges. There are times when challenges are considerate, significant, and maybe even scary, and there are other times when we’re really just making a mountain out of a molehill.

Whether it’s over-coming a mountain of debt or making tough investment choices, it could seem daunting to take on these decisions and commit to following through.

Really, though, we all need to thank our lucky stars for mountains that seem to be in our way. Why, because I’m a glutton for punishment? No, because personally it was the only way for me to find out for myself one of the most important ideas most millionaires share in common—you have to be bigger than any problem you can ever face.

In other words, you have to think big! That’s so easy to hear, and nod your head, and say, “Well, yeah, of course.” Understanding it, knowing it, and living it, though, are different.

The truth is few people “think” big and even fewer “play” big. Why? Because “big” often means big responsibilities, big hassles and big problems. They look at that “bigness” and shrink. They’re smaller than their problems. They back away from challenges. Ironically, they back themselves into the biggest problem of all … being broke, or close to it.

The secret to success is to grow yourself so you’re bigger than any problem.

Imagine a “Level 2” person looking at a “Level 5” problem. Does this problem appear to be big or small? From a Level 2 perspective, a Level 5 problem would seem HUGE. How would it look to, say, a “Level 8” person? The same problem would seem small. To a “Level 10” person? NO problem at all. It’s just an everyday occurrence, like brushing your teeth.

It’s not a special skill that separates rich from poor, but a simple yet profound understanding—if you’re breathing, you will always have situations that aren’t perfect. Therefore, the size of the problem is never the problem. It’s always the size of you!

The bigger problems you can handle; the bigger business you can handle; the bigger responsibilities you can handle, the more customers you can handle, and the more money and wealth you can handle. Your income can only grow to the extent that you do!

So here’s your exercise this time:
Commit to growing yourself. This month, do not avoid problems and or complain about problems. Don’t let them bother you. In fact, don’t even call them problems; refer to them as “challenges” or “situations”.

Let go of the emotion and drama you create when you don’t get what you want. Just stay present and handle one situation at a time with an open mind and an open heart. Trust yourself and in the universe that everything will work out in the end.

I want to hear from you, so make sure you leave a comment and tell me your thoughts on this post.  And after you do the exercise, let me know how it worked for you.  Your feedback is valuable and others can learn from your experiences.

YOU in the Hot Seat: Purpose & Being Part I

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The Hot Seat

 

Do you know who you are?

“Of course I know who I am,” a lot of people will respond. Then they’ll rattle off a list that includes their name, where they’re from, their occupation, their ethnicity; the list can go on and on. Yet, we are more than our title, heritage or role, yes or yes?

Most of us have a pretty good idea about the sum experience of our lives; what we’ve been taught, how we’ve come along so far, and how we generally tend to operate. Maybe a better question than “Who are you” is, “Who do you want to be?”

We are always being who we are—whatever that is at the moment—but at the same time we’re also always becoming. It’s easy to say, “I am (fill in the blank),” and we can think this with complete conviction. However, just because someone says they are—for example—a good friend doesn’t necessarily make it so. But who wouldn’t want to become a better friend?

Even those with greater awareness of themselves can be affected by current pressures and challenges. Sometimes, how we respond to these challenges can surprise us, like showing great compassion and humanity to others in the face of unspeakable tragedy (think the outpouring of support for the Haiti tragedy), even though those same people might not otherwise appear on our radar at all. Other times, we might be disappointed because we think of ourselves as open-minded, only to find out that we aren’t what we think we are all the time. Considering life’s uncertainties, there really is no way to be absolutely sure of how we will respond to what life gives us.

When it comes down to it, who you really are is what you value the most; and what you value then becomes reflected in what you do; where your energy and resources are directed on a regular basis. Not just the value of material things like cars, houses, or the latest gadgets. I mean what you value as in honesty, self-respect, respect for others, kindness—qualities that have no price because their impact can’t be measured.

So instead of thinking in terms of who you are, perhaps a more practical way of looking at the question is who do you want to become. We probably aren’t going to be exactly who we want to be in every moment of life. Anybody who’s experienced fear or anger can attest to that. Nobody wants to be fearful, but we’d all like to be courageous.

Who you want to be is really what makes you who you are now. When you’re striving for something, you’re acting—you’re doing. And what you do makes you more of who you will become later down the line. There is no distinction between the present and the future. It’s always happening now through your values and your actions, from building your sense of character to building a strong financial foundation.

In my next blog, we’ll look at taking the next step in being by exploring the notion of purpose.

Here’s your exercise:

Put yourself in the hot seat and ask the tough questions.  What qualities do you really want to enact no matter what the situation, no matter what goal you’re trying to reach? Compassion? Bravery? Simplicity? Faith? Good humor? Whatever these qualities you admire or cherish the most, these are the principles that make you who you are, if you hold to them consistently.

When “Staying Inside the Lines” Starts to Hold You Back (And How to Break Free)

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CrayonsThere’s a spirit in our culture that prides itself on individuality and “being you.” That sense of satisfaction that comes with doing something your way and finding success.

Yet, as much as we say we value individuality, how much do we really live by that? How often are our decisions influenced by other people: family, friends, a mate, colleagues, neighbors? How often have you wanted to do something but thought twice about it because you were afraid of what so and so might think?

When you go against the grain, you stand out, and standing out can be nerve-wracking. Why is that?

It starts, like many behaviors, with early conditioning—like staying “inside the lines” in art class. Structure can be good, but if we dared draw outside the lines, watch out! We’d be “corrected” until we developed the habit of staying within artificial boundaries given to us.

That’s just one of many examples of conditioning that ends up placing limits on our creative potential. Those pressures could be cultural (Stay with your group!), economic (Rich people are why we’re poor!) … the list goes on and on. And most people end up living their lives “inside the lines” until it becomes comfortable, familiar and what others have taught as “appropriate”—even though it may not be appropriate for you!

In everyday life, anything or anyone that doesn’t fit the “norm” often pays the price of disapproval or scorn. It’s a strange paradox; it pays to be different—think of somebody like Madonna, who clearly marches to her own beat—but don’t be too different or else you’re weird, or something’s wrong with you.

Most people will do their best to fit into a recognizable and comfortable mold because security is addictive to the ego. As a matter of fact, it’s part of our evolution as people. Being accepted in a group meant survival and safety for our ancestors. And in some ways it still does.

However, at some point we’ve got to tell the ego that it’s okay to step into the unknown and dare to be different. Think of all the people throughout history that, if they hadn’t stepped “outside the lines,” we’d have never evolved as quickly as we did. We’d still think the world was flat, or that the universe revolves around us, or that “normal” people couldn’t do amazing things.

When you stop playing it safe, your spirit is free to grow, expand and create.  Individual, family and social “rules” don’t apply.

It takes guts to be different; to stand out from the crowd; to break free from the “clone drone” society and be a true individual.

When others criticize you for doing something “different” it’s usually because they’re scared. Inside, they’re secretly stoked that you’re breaking free. They’re just frustrated with themselves for lacking the courage to do the same. Be their inspiration!

Your focus for the next 30 days: This month, let go of worrying about what other people think of you. Do something unusual (just remember society does have laws!). Whatever business you are in, figure out a way to do it, package it, or market it differently than everyone else. “Zig” when the masses “zag.” You will not only feel a renewed sense of spirit and energy but will also dramatically increase your income and wealth.

Are you up for it?  Let me know your thoughts and ideas on how you can mix it up and start coloring outside the lines.  What would you do differently?  Can you find the courage? I want to hear from you!

Don’t Just Spend Time; Take Time

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Man Running FreeThere’s always something to do, right? Somewhere to be. Someone to meet. Commitments to fulfill. We all have our reasons, but the one thing we need to ask ourselves is this: is this really taking me toward my idea of success?

Success can cover anything from financial abundance to happiness in relationships and family. But we’re really looking for common underlying themes no matter what the category. Some of these themes are peace of mind, a sense of calm; for things to slow down so we can actually enjoy our lives.

In other words, what we’re looking for is the exact opposite of what a lot of people typically experience: the hectic lifestyle so many are living. The irony in all this: people live hectic lives in the first place in order to be successful—to be happier and more comfortable at a future time—so then they can finally relax, slow down and enjoy a sunset every now and then.

But when does that moment come? Next week? Next vacation? Next year? When we finally reach a long-standing goal? When we retire?

It becomes a never-ending cycle of work for play; only a lot of people forget to actually take time to play now! When work is over, then errands. And when errands are over, then it’s obligation A, then B, then it’s time to just crash and get ready to do it all over again.

No doubt, hard effective work can pay off, but at what price?

We need to include a new definition about what success means, one that speaks to the need for more balance; taking more time to be with those we care about; more time for play, more time to take care of ourselves and do the things we really want to do, not just what we feel like we have to do.

Why do so many people “work” their lives away and busy themselves to death?

Why? One word: FEAR!

Fear that they’re not doing enough, or for that matter fear of not being good enough. Fear that if they don’t spend enough time on results-driven activity, then they won’t get anywhere.

The mind can be our greatest ally or our greatest obstacle, striving to protect the Ego that above all else wants safety, security, and making sure we have “enough”. But if you’re always looking for “enough,” you never get to experience it, do you? You’re always doing, always going after it, as if it’s not possible that enough is enough right now.

Naturally, I’d be the first one to say that finances and your career are important, but not at the expense of your physical, mental, and emotional health. Not at the price of your sense of peace, your family or enjoying your life.

Don’t just spend time; take time!

EXERCISE:
List your values—what’s most important to you? If you didn’t have to work, how would you spend your time?

In order to have more time for yourself, how could you leverage yourself (i.e. earn money while you sleep)? Who can you delegate some of your time-consuming tasks to?

Then adjust your schedule for the next month by assigning specific times you take for yourself. Block out these times first. Consider them appointments and keep them as you would any other.

I want to hear from you now.  Can you relate to the challenge of the “never-ending cycle of work for play?” If you had to create a  definition about what success means to you right this minute, what would it be? (You can always tweak it later, but I want to know what comes to your mind first–what does your gut tell you? Declare it here in the comments . . . and then go live it!

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