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It’s true that money can’t buy you happiness… but be careful telling that to the people struggling with finances and responsibilities, or just plain fear of their economic future. How we feel about money does matter: in how we earn it, avoid it, spend it irresponsibly, hoard it, or treat it greedily.

For those of you familiar with my work, you know the core of my teaching is examining your ‘money blueprint’: the thoughts and feelings you attach to your perception of money. I hear something like this more often than I could count: ‘When I go to spend on myself I feel guilty, or when my immediate family asks for money I feel resistance.”

The question is why someone would feel guilt.

Thoughts precede feeling, so what thought is in front of the feeling of guilt?

That answer is going to be different for everyone. It could be based on what you saw when you were young from one or both parents. It could be based on what you heard about money. It could be based on an incident that occurred where you lost money, somebody you know went bankrupt, or where there was no food.

You don’t have to be a psychologist to figure out that if you have negative thoughts around money, your experiences with money are going to be what? Negative.

The point is for us to become conscious of those thoughts that impede our happiness and security, including financially. In my experience there are many, many people who don’t realize how their perceptions of money are shaped by past experiences that are still affecting their present and, potentially, their future.

So how do you begin changing those negative thoughts and feelings toward money into a pattern that serves you and your financial future?

EXERCISE:

Find a quiet space and take a few moments to relax: deep breaths, meditation music, whatever gets you there.

Now honestly examine how you feel when you think of the word “money.” What kinds of feelings does this word bring up: anxiety; a penny-pinching impulse; an impulse to buy something you know you shouldn’t that leads to guilt? Guilt over not having enough? Have enough but still miserable?

Believe me, I’ve heard it all! There’s nothing new under the sun when it comes to people’s relationship with money. The urgency here is for you to be honest with yourself, even if negative feelings and thoughts come up. The whole point is to transform those into thoughts and feelings that serve you.

Once you’ve identified the truth of your emotional relationship with money, go to what created that emotion. What happened to make you feel that way? What’s the event behind the emotion? Memories of parents arguing over finances? A broken relationship due to money issues? Experiences of poverty? Spending so much on something unnecessary that it cost you something else that was important to you?

Once you’ve identified the moments, experiences, or root causes of your current emotional responses to money, hold that thought in your heart and say, “Thank you for the lessons you taught me, but now I need to let you go.” Really meditate on this until you’re not just believing what you’re saying, but you know it to be true.

There’s a saying that the past does not equal the future, but I don’t fully agree with that. The past does equal the future if you continue to do the past. You have to stop reacting to what happened in the past for there to be a new future.

The universe is kind of like a big brother. It says, “If you can’t handle what you’ve got, why should I give you any more? Show me you can balance!” The universe wants what’s best for you. Know that you can handle money and you’ll get more. That’s how it works.

Take a few moments to examine your emotional relationship to money. Ideally take at least 30 minutes to an hour. The investment of time is well worth transforming your financial future!

 
For Your Freedom,

When it comes to self-development programs, lots of people do more than one. These courses aren’t all the same, so it’s not at all uncommon to do more than one.

Unfortunately, what’s also common is the problem of follow-through: people not quite reaching the finish line of a long-cherished goal that motivated them to take the program in the first place.

That initial energy and excitement often fizzles a week, a month, or few a months afterward. Something gets lost in the translation from intention to completion. I see it happen all the time.

It’s what I call the Monkey Mind.

I was inspired by this analogy reflecting on a trip I took to India recently, watching the behavior of those monkeys near the Himalayas you see on nature channels. When you watch them you realize … they’re all over the place! Scattered, chirping, jumping from here to there. They’re grabbing everything, can’t hardly sit still for a minute, very unfocused.

That’s how the mind works! One part says, “This course will be good for me, I need this,” but then lets the Monkey Mind take over, and then … it’s over!

Your Higher Self must control your Monkey Mind.

Most people can’t do that. You don’t need to be a psychologist or personal development guru to know this.

So what are some simple things you can do to get the monkey out of your head that and accomplish the things you say you most want to accomplish?

1. Trust Yourself. Trust is about integrity. When you don’t do what you say you’re going to do, you lose confidence and trust in yourself. Then that cycle repeats itself and becomes a pattern. When someone else doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do, you lose trust in them, yes or yes? Conversely, once you start to do whatever it takes to keep your word, you feel good about yourself. That’s going to spill over into every other part of your life.

Start with this exercise. I want you to get comfortable, taking three big breaths. Big inhale and big exhale. Take as many breaths as you need to get fully relaxed. When you’re there, close your eyes and think of one thing that you have put on the back burner this year. A do-it-yourself home improvement project? Commitment to a gym or exercise routine? A first chapter of a book you’ve been thinking about writing? Signing up for that seminar that could help resurrect a dormant dream? Whatever this is for you.

Now ask yourself, “Is this something I really want to complete?” If yes, then I want you to write that down and come up with one single action toward completing this goal. Not five or 10 actions. I said just one. Why? Because when we complicate things, we tend to not do them. I always say, “Simple is doable, complicated is interesting.”

So let’s start with something simple and doable, and then use the power of momentum to continue pushing forward.

2. Prioritize. To continue developing discipline, you’ve got to straighten out your priorities.

Make a list of your daily habits. Of those, what’re the habits that are really not supporting you? Is it looking at emails as soon as you get out of bed before you even go to the bathroom and brush your teeth? Looking at your phone every five seconds while eating? Spending money and time on lunch out when you could bring something from home and use that time productively?

Again, however long this list may be (if you’re honest, there’ll be at least a few), pick only one unsupportive habit that you’re committed to changing. Try it for a month — heck, up the ante and make it 90 days.

If you’re successful, reward yourself! Make the reward something you normally wouldn’t treat yourself to. If you don’t make it to that month, two-month, or three-month marker … don’t beat yourself up. Simply pick another unsupportive habit to change that is … what? Simple and doable!

You have to prioritize what’s most important to you, and you have to commit to following through on your priorities. Your word must become law in the universe. You’re not going to do things just because you said you were going to do them. You complete them so you can practice controlling your Monkey Mind.

As you continue to practice controlling your Monkey Mind, the easier it will get.

Finishing what you start isn’t just one of those sayings that sounds good in theory, like a rah-rah motivator. This matters in all areas of your life: relationships, business, community, teams, etc. It’s the key to sustaining trust and connections with others, connection to your Self, and in attaining success in every endeavor.

For Your Freedom,