Getting What You Deserve

Whatever’s coming at us in life – is it happening because we somehow deserve it? Did we ask for it?
Sometimes it’s our blueprints that limit what the Universe brings into our lives. People unconsciously punish themselves over something that happened a long time ago but they haven’t forgiven themselves. Or they feel guilty about actually getting what they want. Sometimes there’s a part of us that feels like we don’t deserve more.
Other times, things happen out of nowhere; extreme challenges hit us out of the blue, and if we’re honest with ourselves, there’s a part of us that will ask, however briefly, “What did I do to deserve this?”
How we think about what we get in life—the meanings we attach to events and circumstances—will impact the quality of our lives. So it doesn’t pay to give too much credit to the Universe when things go right, nor too much blame when things go wrong and we don’t get what we want.
Success starts with us and our attitudes—and we’re grateful when the Universe gives us a nudge in the right direction.
We have the power to ask for and get what we want. People who are successful at it are considered “smooth-talkers,” with just a hint of resentment behind that tag, as if they’re just lucky to be born with the gift of gab.
There does seem to be some people that are better at it than others, but the power of persuasion is a learnable skill. If a kid in a marketplace can do it, for heaven’s sake so can you!
Most people, though, either go into a negotiation assuming that they’re going to get raked, and either don’t bother trying to negotiate out of fear or talk themselves out of getting the deal they want by not believing they can get it or deserve it.
That’s actually a big thing for a lot of people—the belief that getting what they want must mean that they’re taking something away from someone else. Of course that’s not true—the best negations are win-win scenarios.
In business and in life, ask for what you want! What’s the worst that could happen? The other person says no? So what if they do? People are so afraid of receiving “no” into their lives they don’t even try.
The best negotiating tool is the truth. Let the other person know how you’re feeling. The idea of good negotiations is to work together so you both get what you want and you both feel good and you feel the deal is fair.
When you ask someone, “What do you want?” they’ll usually tell you what they want. When you ask, “What do you think is fair?” they’ll usually tell you what they think is fair and balance your part of the equation.
Don’t get attached to the whole thing, and it’s actually a lot of fun. There’s a feeling of success that builds confidence once you become good at it, but there’s also a sense of fulfillment when you actually get what you deserve.
And as the saying goes, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you can negotiate. Let the Universe sort the rest out for you.
Tell us your experiences with stepping outside your comfort zone to get what you want. Was it a business experience? A personal experience? We want to hear from you!






I have realized recently that I do not ask for what I want. I have been asking for what I think is proper and reasonable. Asking for what I want feels so much better.
Couldn’t agree more. I believe a lot of people do just that, asking for what they think is reasonable instead of what they really want. Good stuff!
Congratulations Rochelle! Ask, believe, receive!!!
Harv,
Thank you so much for your articles on building self-confidence and liberating ourselves from the idea that somehow we aren’t worth “something better”.
The world is being inundated with programs which demean and belittle the human spirit. This is, in my opinion, doing great damage to our psyches–telling us to cut back, make do, do without, we don’t deserve better, etc.
I’ve been limiting my exposure to those types of programs and media hype, and it is making me feel a lot better, and as a result, better things are happening to me!
Pat
Stepping outside of the comfort zone is something I’ve done a few times… one time in particular, the first time I upsold a $2,000 client to an $80,000 project… had never pitched at that level before, but thanks to providing value for the $2k and then asking for more (suspending my disbelief that it wasn’t possible) —- it happened and we all were happy! And it didn’t stop there, went on to work together on multiple projects after that.
Awesome!
Trace, I know what you mean. When I started my company a former client from my previous employer contacted me to ask me to do a report for them. That $20,000 report (which I nearly choked on when telling them the price) ended up with me naming my price to do the next phase of the project at $1.3 million!
OMG! Now that’s what I call an up-sell! And my client asked me how much money I needed to achieve what they wanted.
Through my training presentations I have now met another client who wants a bit of help on some projects. I know what is coming next; about 5 years work.
I am still asking for what I want and achieving every bit of it.
Thanks for sharing.
Great advice Harv. It is too easy to give the ‘no’ that we imagine others will give us, to our self. Nothing good comes from taking the easy way. Thanks for the reminder. Take care, stay well, have fun!
Great point Stephan about being so easy to stop ourselves from even asking by telling ourselves we are going to get a ‘no’.
Guilt. So true. How often in my life have I seen people knock something back because guilt makes them feel undeserving. I have one friend who is a particularly “bad” at this. He truly doesn’t know how to receive and as a consequence always ends up with the short straw. But I’m working on him.
Perhaps your friend’s name is Aaron? 🙂
haha, no it isn’t, but then again, I’m sure there’s some part of him being reflected in me.
That’s because, we are actually ONE.
Thank you for the affirmation, Harv !
Hi Harv!
When are you guys coming to Australia? Perth would be a good start for your wonderful seminars- lots of mining money over this side of Oz! Love your work xx
Karen,
For a list of all upcoming international events please visit: https://millionairemindglobal.com/
Awesome!!! yayayay!! I’ll be there and hoping to bring some friends too! I’ve been wishing that you guys would come to Perth or even the east coast – what you focus on expands!! Now to go and practise your negotiation tips on a property deal that I’m trying to get thru! thank you xxx
“…..what they want must mean that they’re taking something away from someone else.” How true! But how did we get this idea in the first place?
2. The easiest way to expand one’s comfort zone is to ASK. By trial and error, that’s what I found.
Shankar
Trial and error is one way to learn, but if you can access someone who has been there and done that before you, then you can save yourself a lot of grief!
A mentor can do this for you.
Thank you Harv, I really needed to hear that today. I spoke my truth this week to someone dear and received a big slap as they walked out of my life. I refused to trade my dignity and integrity for someone else’s plan. I stand here, in this space, complete, and assured, that the learning was mutual and fair. The universe has brought your blog to me today knowing the reinforcement would be valuable. Thank you.
HARV DEAR THANKS ONCE MORE IS PURELY true that U.S. is at the power to create our present and thus move in breaking “the comfort zone” that both grow and take us from our tasks in a fruitful life and happy . IDENTIFY ITEMS self-sabotage is part of this process of liberation and growth in our lives. WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF CHANGE, although initially costly, but all my family is starting to talk differently because thought is already different and good habits are being developed and receptioned BETTER COMMUNICATION. I think learning to be persuasive and persevering IN OUR DAILY LIFE is our mission in this time of change.
GOD BLESS HARV.
LUIS AVALOS
You are Amazing Mr. Harv Eker! Your Success, & you are an inspiration!
“Outside the Box” or if you prefer “Out of my comfort zone,” is- Trusting myself. Yesterday I noticed I sabatoge myself by changing a decision I’ve made.
Out of my comfort zone is following through.
I’ve met alot of blocks & resistance! However, I keep asking the question, “what is the opportunity here?” To be more specific; i have 3 old cars. The decision is- to sell them and buy a newer car. I keep spending money to repair and smog them. Twice, first car has failed smog. I really want to change the plan. However I believe there will be bigger ‘pay-off’ if I complete orignal decision, Spiritually & Financially.
you ask what is the opportunity here?
well I can offer you a opportunity.
contact me my email
june.ngei@hotmail.com
Do you feel guilty to sell your old car(s)?
Hi
I recently went to Millionaire Mindset in Sydney. I came home and within weeks my husbands employer went into liquidation (not the first time its happened to him and with 6 weeks pay left unpaid) my good friend passed away and my nephew became very ill. I realised my mindset was fixed on our financial issues and that I constantly help and encourage others to change thinking and behaviour, but had allowed myself to fall back into the trap of thinking that things kept going wrong. So I decided to follow up with a prospect with my training services, knowing that it was a large company and one that I would normally shy away from. The result, a good contract for a months work which was more than I had ever earned from a client. It came easily. Still having to challenge myself to take the step forward, however Im passionate and know that I have something good to offer, so I wont let the fact that I am a small business hold me back any more…My client has come back to me with a testimony..”where have you been all my life”.Still challenged financially due to the set backs, but Im determined to keep opening the doors that I want to open, because in my heart I know that its my passion and my purpose, and Im determined to overcome any limiting mindsets about money, no matter what is happening around me.
contact me I may be able to help
june.ngei@hotmail.com
Louise,
I love your never give up attitude! Keep it up.
Louise
Never ever give up! You go girl! You can do whatever you want to do!
Re my post below…Ill ask for what I want right now..the opportunity to talk to more businesses about how I can help create positive change with intuitive,unique, powerful and interactive advanced performance coaching…see http://www.louisetaylorconsulting.com...
Im differand you’ll see how when you meet me…got to have a go people!
Hi, Harv,
Thank for make me think in this aspects that I’m in process to get. I’m happy with my own work. I need to put in work some details to let me feel good. Some times think “i dont have time” I’m still in process to get some aspects that will give me free.
leaving cz is my habit. and i was v successful every time. now i m planning to enter a new zone, which is beyond comfirt.
I think I deserve for my goal, so I ask or require for help what I want, other way I learn from other people with what I need to know. And I don’t need think so much just take action on things i need and want.
Harv,
Do arrange your MMI in India. There are so many people like me who want to join.
Hope to hear from you.
Rgds
Sukanta
Hi Harv! Thanx for this link! I receive by asking once and start to say ‘thank you’ & become excited for results! Works al the time!
Thank you for such an excellent site. One needs all the praise and strength when starting in business. People are quick to offer their negative advice.
Josephine
You will always receive negative feedback from those who can’t achieve what you have and from those who don’t want you to achieve.
Time you moved into a new circle of like minded friends.
C healthy people was just talking about you today Harv, about how many years it took me to see the money blueprint of my life because, we went to LA=MMI you got to see it 1st to change anything….Thank you so much:)
ask and you will receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened….
it rings true in every area of our life, and Harv’s article is as true as itcomes
I always fear to receive no so I never try
Aleena
There is nothing to fear in the word “no”.
I get it all the time. I ask my wife if I can go out and she says “no”. I don’t fear that, I expect that! But seriously, there is nothing wrong with “no” it simply means no. Then you move on to the next thing.
When you get “no” you learn and next time you are less likely to get another one.
I always fear to receive no so I never tried but now I am changed myself but years of fear takes it toll .Now I fear nothing but at the same time lost direction
Attitude and Gratitude determines which direction we will head. Thanks T. Harv
Thank You ,
for that advice i was that way, afraid of getting a No for an answer i still working on it an i am doing a little better, is always good to read not only your advice but also the comments of all the people that sees your Lessons. Thank You once more.
2013 is the year to restart my life and go for a life I deserve. Still a few beliefs about deserving holding me back fully asking for what I want. Can easily ask the universe for what I deserve, asking others for help seems my challenge
My latest great step outside of my comfort zone was when I stood up in a room of 200 people and asked the speaker if she was ok with her weight! The reason was that she was talking about eating while listening to your body what it needs, but she was extremely overweight! So I asked the question and was amazed by the awesome reactions I was getting from the crowd. They all where thinking about the same thing!!
Great article and very synchronicistic.
I have started to ask for what I want. I feel that what was holding me back was fear of feeling unworthy of my power and what I have to give and share with others. This held me back because I was playing small and not treating myself with the kindness and respect that I deserve, in turn it was hurtful and there were moments of self sabotage, almost like I would be punishing myself for not going through with my intuition first hand. It turned into a vicious cycle. I was the observer and also the victim in one, and I knew what I was doing and that I needed to move from it. Little by little I have started taking care of myself and going within to re-connect back into who I am and my own self worth, what I have to offer and love myself through it all. The limiting belief of not being worthy held me back from the opportunity to step into my best self. I would always decline opportunities or not attend workshops or meetings to keep my self small, and that led to unworthiness. My dreams are manifesting themselves as opportunities now, and I am stepping into my power and stepping each day out of my comfort zone. The more I step into new opportunities, the more I realize how connected and in tune I am being with myself and what I wish to give to others, so that in itself is a purposeful and profound experience.
I have just said said yes to be part of a Revolution where I will be one of the main contributors, and I am very grateful for that as that has been one of the things I have really wanted to be part this year.
Thank you
Ana
Excellent article! as always, hehe.
If you want to get the moon have to want the sun ..
The biggest problem I have is that deep down I’m not worthy of a great fortune by my past conditionings.
I have to put my mind to think I deserve much more than what I have right now in my life and sure will get my goals much faster.
Think big and everything is in great … no?
By the power of intention in what you focus on expands …
Hugs to all!
Dani
I really believe that life begins outside our comfort zones.
Whenever I step outside my comfort zone, magic happens!
I get more opportunities, gain more friends and of course I grow more and more.
Thanks Harv!
I’m getting myself to speak and ask than rationalize. I normally put other people’s needs first before mine and because of that I miss out.
I do deserve to have the best and will continue to keep that in mind when faced with decisions.
Thanks
Thanks for the great reminders and the great teachings. I was a participant at a Millionaire Mind Seminar in Calgary in 2007 I believe and while I didn’t take the small step then, it did implant the seed. We have two choices in life. Try or Don’t Try. Ask or Don’t Ask. Choices will invite opportunity!Oh and did I mention remember to SMILE! Oh and by the way you will see and hear lots of “no’s” along the way.
Thank you Harv, I have asking myself this question every month. How to get what I deserve finanical? or Why I am not getting getting the results I deserve.
I am stepping out my comfort zone in two different areas: public speaking and starting my own fashion line. Even writing this I have butterflys flowing in belly.
super! everything I need today #motivation
Hey Harv,
I pretty much stopped asking for what I wanted, at least from people I don’t know, the day after I asked a pretty girl to dance at my year 10 formal, and she said no in front of all of her friends.
That was 35 years ago… still cuts when I think about it now.
It was like my brain was fried, and since them I’ve had a phobia about being rejected. No matter what I’ve tried, can’t shake it.
I’ve found ways around it (hire sales people and agents to do the asking for me, etc.) but it has cast a life-long pall over me all these years.
Kinda sucks…
R
You need to get comfortable with the word NO or being rejected. See what happened was you got kicked off the horse and never got back on! Have the fear and do it anyway. If you want something, ask for it. When you are comfortable hearing the word no, eventually you will hear a YES!!!
I have started practicing asking for what I want recently and to conquer the fear of rejection. It is not easy especially when I receive rejection. However, I try not to take it personally and continue asking.
Thank you for all your solid gold information. I continue to share publicly on my face book.
GRATITUDE!
Christina,
Thank you for the continued support!
Where did we get this idea “I do not deserve this.”? To remove this, I tried auto-suggestions and it worked.
I continue to be impressed and amazed at how God puts forth just the exact message I need to hear. Thank you for reminding me again of the importance of asking for what I want!
I am 38 years old. I live in Ukraine. I have my own beauty salon business. it was all good. I wanted to expand his business. In 2008 I took out a loan. and then there was a crisis. revenues fell, and credit has grown. and now I’m very hard to pay it. the amount is very large. Here is the situation. wanted to increase revenue, and in fact did not hit a very good situation. What to do?
Hi Olga.
Ask for help, ask for coaching. It helps to discuss your business with someone. It helps me a lot.
If you are not doing this already: increase your prices!! position yourself as an expert. Ask sales people who deliver your products for special deals/offers you can pass on to your clients for higher price for your services. Ask your customers for (more) referrals, get them to commit to 3 or more treatments.
Many Healing Blessings to your succes.
Ann
II’ve just realized throug this lesson, that I do not make that extra effort to express myself and show my feelings. Therefore, I paralyse my negotiation skills and get discourage very easily from time to time. I will change my focus and find ways to make things happen by believe more in myself.
Tanks Harv!
This article reminds me of a verse in the bible that says “Up to this time you have not asked a [single] thing in My Name [as presenting all that I AM]; but now ask and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your joy (gladness, delight) may be full and complete. ( The Amplified Bible). I am thankful of all I have ever received!
Sometimes the limits we build in our minds are very strong and solid, but the dreams and expectations of what we want shall be much stronger. I am very glad that I realise it and this lesson is the confirmation of my life experience. The decision making is much easier with such way of thinking!!! )))
Whenever I find myself in a fuzzy area, I quickly realize that my intentions have not been made clear. Clarity = Results.
Thanks for your inspiration
Now I know why I never get satisfied with the choices i make because i never say what i exactly want but what i think is reasonable which in turn leaves me dissatisfied. thanks
A very clear goal for 2013 for the charity Relief from Pain: I would like to receive £5,000,000 in donations to set up 2 more Healing Centers in the UK to accomodate people and Energy Healers to help people regain their perfect health.
Thank you, Harv for providing us the forum to voice our intentions. You totally rock.
A valuable lesson learned at your Secrets of a Millionaire Mind weekend many years ago… if you don’t go beyond your comfort zone to get what you want you will fail 100% of the time. If you break that barrier that is stopping you (still have my board halves from that weekend) your odds just went up to 50/50. If you voice your gratitude for everything in your life every day your odds will even be greater. And when “what did I do to deserve this” moments occur, like one did just the other day, you can quickly turn then around in your favor. Thanks for this months lesson Harv, I am a bit late reading it but then again things happen for a reason 😉
I (and only me) am the captain of your life’s boat. Whatever I want in life, I first conceive it in my mind. Let’s see …. I want to be Happy Loner Forever! It doesn’t matter who you spend your life with. The key is to spend it wisely, gratefully, and happily. No one can change your life except your mind. Stay positive, stay happy, and stay alone forever.
I was born into a very poor family in a tiny equally poor African village. All I ever knew in life was that there was never enough of anything – be it money , food , clothes , even friends.However I always wanted to be a doctor and when I said this to my mates I always drew a lot of laughter. Everyone knew our family could even afford to buy me a shirt , let alone pay for medical school. Through sheer determination , I went through junior and senior school right through to university without paying a single cent of my money.The interesting thing though is that , even as doctor I still lived a life of scarcity . I could not bring myself to even consider buying a new car. New cars were for the rich people. When I bought a car I bought the worst old car ever. It was a money drain and needed constant repairs. In the end it cost me more than a new car. In all my spheres of life I found I was holding back. The really good things were for “them rich fellows” and not me. If any one suggested that I was a rich doctor I got very cross. This was despite the fact that I lived in an affluent suburb and sent my kids to private school.In my mind there was something wrong with being labelled as rich. As a result most of my adult life has been less than satisfactory. It is only in recent years that I have begun to realize the error of my ways.It is through reading lessons such as these that I have come to realize that I deserve more out of life. I am beginning to ask for what I want as opposed to what I think is appropriate. Thanks Harv for taking the time to reach out to people like me.
For me, it is the courage that that there is nothing to lose in asking for what I want that keeps me doing what I incline to do. In order to do that, I feel that I need to have a good level of self-esteem, in the sense that my self-worth is not related to the outcome of asking for what I want.