Why Most People Don’t Finish What They Start…A Lesson From Burning Man
How many people do you know want to write a book?
Seems like that’s a fairly common dream for a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. Now consider: how many of those same people actually finish what they start?
This is a very common thing, whether we’re talking about writing a book or the businesses you were going to start; any of the things you’ve said that you’re going to get involved in. There’s all this passion at one point, then after a bit of time that passion tends to fizzle out.
We can talk about procrastination. We can talk about commitment. We can talk about taking bite-sized, manageable steps towards a goal. We can talk and talk and talk about these things, but that’s not the big problem.
At the heart of this problem is doubt. Almost everybody doing anything feels the same way. They say, “I’m starting a new business. I wonder if it’s going to work. What if nobody wants it? I’ve spent so much time and money. I really hope this works out.”
So what do you do?
First, you feel the fear and do it anyway. Act in spite of doubt and anxiety. You get on out there and you start to write, or develop your idea, or sign up for courses if you need information to grow and improve. You say, “I’m not going to let this take me out. I’m going to do the best I can. I’m going to enjoy it the best I can.”
But second and most importantly, you detach from your intended outcome.
What?! What the hell are you talking about, Harv? How do we meet our goals and stay on track without being attached to what actually happens?
Let me try to explain this through a story…actually it’s a yearly event that takes place out here in the desert near Reno called Burning Man, where about 65,000 to 70,000 people from all walks of life come together in their own kind of alternative community.
The most interesting thing about it all, though, is that they do a lot of spectacular artwork. Huge pieces; things that are 30 or 40 feet high. People have worked on these pieces for a full year. I’m talking pieces that could probably be sold for $5 million, easily.
Do you know what they do with it all at the end of the event? They burn it!
Why? Because it’s not about the result. It’s about the process of loving what you do. You enjoy the process of creating the art and then allow it to be enjoyed for the time it was meant to be enjoyed.
They burn it to basically make certain that they’re not attached to any outcomes or any results from it in the future. It was only the process they were interested in. It was the beauty and creativity of painting, creating or doing.
If we were not attached to our outcomes, there would be no fear, period. You’re only fearful that you’re not going to have your desired outcome. What if there was no outcome to have? What would you be afraid of? Nothing.
You can have an intention to create $1 million this year, but you don’t have to be attached to it. “But don’t you have to commit to it?” Yes, of course, but it doesn’t mean you have to be attached.
Commitment and attachment are different. Attachment is an emotional element. Commitment is a process.
I want you to create an intention and have a vision for your life, but I don’t want you to be attached to anything because attachment creates suffering. Buddha said it, and everyone who has quoted Buddha talks about it:
“The number one cause of my suffering is believing that I have to get what I want in order to be happy.”
Read that again…“The number one cause of my suffering is believing that I have to get what I want in order to be happy.”
True or true?
Here’s the problem. If you have to get what you want in order to be happy, there’s going to be a lot of times you don’t get exactly what you want. You’ll always be suffering.
Many people don’t finish what they start simply because they’re too attached to the outcome. By all means do what you have to do to reach your goals, but enjoy the process more than worry about whether or not you’re going to reach them. Let go of that attachment.
You don’t have to be attached to your intentions, results or commitments. You don’t have to be attached to anything. Watch how much happier and successful you become.
Are you ready to accomplish your biggest goals and create your Level 10 life?
Then register for my upcoming web class, The Ultimate Life Makeover.
Tell us what you think. Sound easier in theory than in actual practice? How do you relate this concept when it comes to your life?
Share your stories and insights…we want to hear from you!
For Your Freedom,
Dear Harv,
This post is very powerfull and it is confusing me as well. I was so obsessed to have a specific goal and to commit to it, or actually to attach to it.
If I do understand this right, it is like “shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars”. Be thankfull for the lessons and growth which has taken place.
While I am writing this reply things do look falling in place.
Men.. I do was suffering so far because I am really attached to some specific goals. Still I need an alternative to focus on..
Hi, I think the main point is that if you want to be happy, it is better to focus on enjoying the process, so that your hapiness don’t depend on the outcome. If your hapiness depend on the outcome, on reaching your goal, it is likely that you will be fearful and you will suffer.
Harv,
This really resonated with me. There have been things I have started but didn’t finish for fear that I would fail and it’s always bothered me because I like to finish what I start. But, as I consistently and diligently work on my personal development, I am learning that we can have goals and dreams and strive for them but we must not depend on the outcome. In most cases, we simply must finish what we start, no matter the outcome. We should focus on enjoying the journey, the process, the growth and personal development we gain along the way. Most importantly, our happiness must come from within us. It doesn’t come from outside of us, from people or things. It is our choice whether or not we will be happy…and cross the finish line whether we get the results we want or not!!
Thank you so much Harv.
Melissa, I could not have expressed better my own feelings and thoughts than you did… So much pain and sadness could have been spared if I had this knowledge a few years ago… The best part is that my life is soaring since I understood (and felt deep inside me) that happiness comes from within… I am so grateful for all the knowledge that was once reserved for a chosen few, and that is now available for all of us who want it!!! Sharing is a God given gift!!!
Well said. I agree , totally, thanks for the explanations
ok Christian, not so long ago I was like you, confused! The point is not lose the excitement and vision of your dream; except that you don’t need to expect it come from an specific action or circumstance.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t follow a plan; I do it! It’s good to expect it to happen, but don’t close to other sources and opportunities to get it done.
In other words, why to stress about “reality”, if you decide it every moment? Why to attach yourself to a certain action to get a certain result? You’ll get it anyway! 🙂
When you focus on “what”, the “how” and other details appear. The goal is to Plan for the What and you’ll live in Now!
The rest takes care of itself ^_^
More questions? Is that not clear? Feel free to ask anything.
Also, I want to gift you my most recent book on the matter; in fact, everyone is welcome to read it, and It’s Free! [Click my name]
It will help you to manage what we talk here; we call this “detachment” skill “The Wealth Mindset”.
“Wealth is not to have it all; but knowing you dispose everything to live what you think. As algebra, you don’t learn troubles by heart; you learn the logic to apply it every time”
pLease Stay tuned, I’ll post a video and more surprises here.
Ebook link (again): ow.ly/bMgZ300btXv
Be joyful, be great
Namaste!
It is not always easy to apply this concept, since on a social level you are supposed to struggle, suffer and pay a heavy price to reach an important goal. I will detach from the most pressing outcome I’m currently focused on. Thanks Harv for the insight. Adriano
Zing! It’s so simple! Thanks for the reminder Harv!
I’ve been way way way too attached to the outcome of too many goals all at the same time.
Thank you!!!
Dear Harv –
All of your weekly lessons are truly brilliant !!! How are you able to always come up with such insightful material? Besides this astounding posting, I don’t think that you have ever posted anything that is not absolutely remarkable. Thank-you, Lloyd
I agree with living in the now and enjoying the process as you watch it unfold. As a society, we are so goal centric, and what often happens in the process is that you become disconnected from self, and from that inner voice that is guiding you along. When you walk through life living in joy regardless of what may lie ahead, this is where the real magic happens.
It sounds here like the joy is in the trip , not the destination. The beautiful sights you see along the way and overcoming the little hiccups like a tyre puncture, dodging animals on the road and that stranger you give a ride and turns out to be helpful.
I have fallen victim to focusing on outcomes so many times before, it almost turned me into a professional quitter. Thank you!
Many times their energy is too scattered out and about. Taking on too many things to ever really enjoy the being of the new idea and become absorbed in it allowing the creativity to fully express for that one idea before the next one drops in.
This happens to me, the fun and excitement is in the idea. Many times I enjoy that journey. But then another one pops in. It takes discipline.
This makes so much sense but is not easy to grasp. Commitment and attachment are different, absolutely; but confusing them has caused me to blur lines between clients and friends and family so much that I get upset when things don’t turn out the way I think they should. Repeating this one phrase will reduce so much suffering in my life and work…..
Dear Harv,
I absolutely could absorb this message. It’s not only thoughtful but deeply meaningful as well.
As Krishna said in Bhagavad Geeta “You only have right to your Karma, and not to it’s fruits.”….Meaning we must be doing our karma (Actions without attachment to its outcome).
If we keep thinking about outcome while taking actions for out goals, our half mind will be in our actions and half in thinking about it’s fruits. That also means we are putting half-hearted efforts and still expect 100% results!!!
lol so strange but so true, isn’t it?
Dispassion is all about being active without being attached.
This not only helps us focus 100% in our actions but also let us enjoy the process without being worried about final outcome.
Loved it. Thanks a million.
And yes, I loved the new look and feel of the website as well. Good luck, Harv 🙂
Bharat
Well said Bharat.
Love the message.
Buenos Días.
Soy de Marinilla Antioquia Colombia, la verdad que son palabras tan profundas, como lo mencionas en el libro Secretos de la Mente Millonaria; si quieres tener frutos diferente debes cambiar las raíces, bueno el cambio empieza por cada uno, espero con ansias el día que puedas estar en nuestro País.
Gracias.
Thank you!
There certainly is a lot for me to learn about this issue. I will start my process right now!
I am currently listening your book as an audio book and I must say it is brilliant! I just hope I am able to implement all the teachings to my life. This piece of advice was definately at the right time for me and my process.
I wish you all sunshine! 🙂
You basically put the teachings of good old Buddha into an easy to understand language. He said this all thousands of years ago: “In the heart of all suffering, is desire.”
Spectacular!!!! So simple, so powerfull. I have to big project that I enjoy so much but never finished because I think people will not be interested. Changing mindset now. Thanks, Harv.
I have momentaly 3 jobs ,end sometimes i get confused wich one to chose cuz i want be paid better than i was working in past of my life like worker for somebody else,this is not for me i feel that i can do more end better life for me i feel energy from myself,Now i was work outside of my country Serbia cuz here is no so easy to get an buisness if you want to do but always need money for something more,end always some fear to not my money will disapeir from my account cuz i see that if i not cathc some job money will go…I work with an group for an big buisness but explain me please how to work with people who not respect me so much end not answering on skype ect..ect…How to deal with this kind of people who think i have milions who cares for other end always some hiding manner from each other …End sometimes is to go crazy with kind of people who have milions end think that they are god
Seeing it this way makes sense :
Ian a doubter filled with fear that the end result will fail , I’m working on getting to that point where I need to just do it !
U are an inspiration to me and explain things in a way I understand. Thank you Harv
For ur intentions of wanting to help us succeed in our lives .
The Lesson of the Buddha was to “Seek Perfection” ( for its own sake…….AND for the sake of your Liberation from Eternal Samsara) The Recent Quantum Proof, Provided by Einstein’s Theory of Gravitational Waves puts EVERYTHING into Perspective. “False Beliefs Destroy Your SOUL” ! Thank you, Harv…..I needed Reminding Myself !
Danke für alle Artikel!
Viel Erfolg und alles Gute!
We have been programmed to expect to be attached to an outcome. Our neurons have created pathways that say, “this is serious…you are working on achieving this goal…don’t enjoy the process…you must suffer.” Well, at least let me speak for myself. I endure instead of enjoy the process.
Thanks Harv. I am now aware of the self sabotaging behaviour.
Perfect timing and perfect wisdom. Simply but effective. I will begin practicing this today. Thanks, Harv.
I understand what Harv is saying as follows:
Assume you are in Warsaw, Poland (your current “now”) and you have a goal to get to Ulan Bator (Mongolia) somwhere next month. You have many possibilities to get there. So you decide to start the journey. And you do so. Since you are on the JOURNEY now. The message is: don’t be attached so much to reaching Ulan Bator as you might miss the JOURNEY. Probably you eventually get to Ulan Bator at the set time anyway. But what if not? What if you discover during the JOURNEY something new, more exciting? Which causes you for example to stay in Irkutsk, Russia or go to China first, before reaching Ulan Bator? What if you find happiness on the way? But to have this “acomplished” you must first set a goal. And move on…
Or maybe I am wrong? 😉
While reading this, a big “click” in my outlook on this stuff occurred in me. Very helpful insight, Harv. Thank you.
Soy Andrei Loredo de Querétaro y es increíble que un simple cambio de enfoque pueda producirte una armonía y felicidad durante el camino, agradezco el mensaje del hombre en llamas y ojalá puedas estar pronto impartiendo tu sabiduría por estas tierras
Win or lose, we still play the game to win. If I don’t win I play again with more focus and learn as I go to see how much progress I have achieved.
I have ADHD and am not attached to too many things to begin with. I do have fun going for the gold though. To me it’s more of “I WANT TO PLAY!!!!” than it is “I have to win”. Thank you for confirming my intended life style.
Spot on Harv. I love the timing. While in the gutz of writing a book, your profound spiritual teaching in your unique and down to earth language, was the best possible tonic I could have received this morning.
Deep remembrance and gratitude course through me and back in the saddle and get on with it cause I know it’s simply about the process but get side tracked with the distractions of outcome.
How cool to have an angel Harv appear in my life who keeps tapping my shoulder with what simply just is.
Yep.
I hate tedium, whenever life get’s tedious, ie. Houston Traffic, I lose my schnizzle.
I want to start an entertainment company. My ‘partner’ of choice is dragging her feet. I could feel like the project is doomed and over, but, I am letting her have her process and moving at her pace. It’s more fun and it allows the whole thing to not be about me. So much better.
I like this post.
Thanks!
This article blows my mind! It brought me up some thoughts and revelations of my actions which will lead me to other level from now on.
I`m from Brazil and I never wrote a comment in english. So, first step was taken. Instead of doubt and fear of grammatical mistakes.
Thanks Harv!
Congrats from Brazil
Harv you have so much wisdom. Thank you.
My second time reading this. The first time I was okay.. I get it. But after a few hours I went back to re read the post w/ the intent to put in practice the message T. Harve Ecker was relaying. As soon as I made the decision a big weight has lifted from shoulders towards reaching my goals and how to approach every aspect of my life.. To find true happiness.
thanks for wealthy information!
Thank you Harv
For ur intentions of wanting to help us succeed in our lives .
Once again not only this truth hit me straight from the heart, it is an amazing chance to work with my very own self.
I am now committed to Grow!
Thanks Harv!!!
Thank you for this insightful article, Harv.
I have personally learnt that having a goal and aiming to achieve a particular outcome is important because with no target to aim at, anything you hit is good enough. One key that has helped me to keep at it even when progress may be slower than I want, is to have a clear purpose as to why the goal or outcome is important to me. If I have a strong enough ‘why’ (a higher purpose) then no matter what happens, I am able to take a step forward and stay focussed on the ‘what’ (the goal or outcome).
This is so true! I was a technical writer for many years, then had the time to write novels, and approached them the same way, like an assignment, with a deadline and a publishing and marketing plan. Learned a lot about the publishing business in writing two novels and a textbook with great expectations, but they all fell flat on their faces. So I just forgot about writing until I met JaJa. She was just a goofy kid in my math teaching class, exactly like every other kid, except she was a math wonder. Teachers spot them right away. Here she was, in this way outback village where a job is all that matters, whether you have any schooling at all, and here is this kid, this goofy ordinary young girl, who’s a math wonder. The novel just started, JaJas Carabao, I wasn’t even thinking about it. Just wrote an opening chapter about her imaginary village life, then put it down, and a week later something happened in line with the story so I wrote that down. Then an odd bit of dialogue, so I wrote that down.. Then an unusual event, …the story was writing itself. And when at last it was fiinished, perfectly, I put JaJas Carabao up on Amazon for the pure release of it, letting it go out into the world, and it rose to #19 on the Australia and Oceania young readers list!
hi Harv,
I don’t know what happen. I know that I have a gift and very powerful too. I am a Healer as I have healed so many along my path. At the moment There is always something that will stop me to progress. for instance I enjoyed your book (The millionaire mindset), I was travelling by train and lost the book or misplaced it and never found it. I would dearly love to go back to my healing but I need to follow your advise and just do it.
Harv, there is a saying:
“Most important than the destination is the journey”.
So, that is all about it.
I just about don’t finish anything.
This definitely put some things in perspective for me. I just completed the the Millionaire Mind Experience. I walked away feeling and thinking about money and life in a way I could not verbally express. Reading this drove my thoughts and feelings home. “Be less attached to the outcome and really really enjoy the ride”. People, lessons, and experiences are absolutely amazing! I feel lighter in spirit and having more fun with my ideas. Thank you Harv!!!
PS: What would you be afraid of if there was no outcome? Wow, was a powerful question.
Thank you!
I have been working on a big goal over the last few months, and have been worrying too much about it, but I have been starting to focus on the process lately, and worry less about the outcome. Your message has really clarified what I’m going through, and has accelerated my progress in focusing on the process, and being happy doing it.
It’s been said, “Keep your eyes on the prize,” but as you point out, this is wrong. It’s really, “Keep your eyes on the process” and enjoy the day.
Thank you!
Have a great day!
Here is a lot to think about, from this article. Enjoy the process and income will come…
sir harv,
thank you so much for sharing your great thoughts. i learned a lot. indeed, this is the case for me and for many people. i am always attached to the result that i forget to enjoy the process, thus, making me less happy..
once again, thank you.
Hi Harv
Thanks for the post, it´s great.
It give our too much good information.
Blessings
I just want to say I love the new website, I love your story, and I love what you do, it is such a gift that you give to the world every single day. Thank you.
Secondly, I remember the day a co-worker came into my office and gave me a piece of writing on detachment and I really did not have a clue. However, I took it to heart and I eventually came to know detachment and I consider it to be another true gift in my life.
You’ve inspired me to put Burning Man on my bucket list. Sounds like a great experience.
Thanks so much!
This is so true, my experience has been not attaching to the result as I allow God to be the author and finisher, believing he has my back covered and my best interest at heart and that He allows only the best outcome and nothing good shall be withheld from me and all things shall work for good of me. It is an easy, yet very difficult thing to do as it is the audacity of faith where you take a risk with God. In the bible i realized it is what Abraham did when he obeyed to take his only son to offer as a sacrifice and then watch happens God provides, He is Jehovah Jireh when you see Him as one!!!!
Now I understand why some people make so beaultiful sand sculptures on the beach. I was wondering “what´s the use of it? Soon the waves or the wind will destroy everything!” But now i know that the process of creating those awesome figures may bring so much happiness and satisfaction. Thank you for the lesson.
estoy viviendo una etapa muy parecida a lo que data esta LECCIÓN y me comprometo desde YA a retomar nuevas lecciones de VIDA, a darle un NUEVO LOOK a mi manera de pensar y actuar, ME COMPROMETO DESDE YA a rebobinar esa cinta vieja y pasarla a una nueva era de Mente Millonaria y que tomare las DECLARACIONES que me facilitan como un nuevo inicio de preparación para mi nueva vida…thanks
Thank you so much for clarifying something that has always confused me! I love this distinction between attachment and commitment!
Thank you for the great information, understanding helps me grow!
In my understanding, what you become during the process is more important than the result. Work on yourself first then you get the result which is the reflection of what you become.