Two Steps to End Negative Mind Chatter Forever
Your conditioned mind is there for one reason and one reason only. To help you survive and keep you alive. It’s not there to make you happy or successful. For some reason its primary goal in life is to make you dissatisfied.
Your mind is like an inner child. When you ignore it, just like a little kid, it will start to pull on you even harder. And if you continue to ignore, the kid will lash out, it will cry and it will do whatever it can to get your attention.
That’s exactly what happens with your mind.
It just goes on and on with its endless chatter about how crappy this is, or awful that is, or how dare so and so do this to me, how could they, I can’t believe this is happening, what am I going to do?
So what do you do?
How can you silence your mind once and for all and end the chatter in your head?
Well…there are two steps.
The first step is becoming AWARE that it is not you. It is your conditioned mind.
Any time you experience a negative thought, it’s your conditioned fear-based mind talking, not your enlightened self.
The first stage is to identify it, observe it, listen, notice it and say, “Here you are. Thank you for sharing.” You don’t ignore it or neglect it, but you don’t let it take over either.
Once you identify it, a way to turn it around is to handle it as if it’s a friend of yours who wants to be reassured.
“I understand that you have concerns. I understand that you’re worried. I want you to know that we will get through this. We will make it. Take it easy. Give me a chance to do this.”
These positive reinforcements change the neurological pathways in your brain, so that when a negative thought comes up, it replaces it with a positive automatically.
Step two is harder. In the highest level of personal development, it’s not about saying anything positive to your mind, it’s about coming back to the present where there is no mind.
When you’re being positive with your mind, you are still entertaining it. Any conversation you actually have with your mind is eventually going to be a losing conversation because you have activated the part of you that’s going to make sure you’re dissatisfied. Having that conversation with yourself means you can’t be present.
Of all the spiritual practices throughout history and of all the wise teachings of spiritual masters and gurus across the ages, there is only one answer to achieving enlightenment (hence happiness and success).
That answer is that you must learn to stay present. Stay in the moment that is, not the moment that isn’t. Do not go into the past. Do not go into the future. Be here now.
Every single time you’re thinking about the past, you are in your conditioned, fear-based, unhappy self. Every time you’re thinking about the future, you might think “Hey, the future is going to be great.” Why don’t you just keep that conversation going for about two minutes and watch what happens?
In a couple of minutes, it won’t be feeling so great because you are activating the part of you, whether it’s the past or the future, that is going to drive you crazy and bring you sadness, unhappiness and/or stress. What’s the answer? You must learn to stay present.
Take deep breaths because that’s your closest connection to the present. Breath can only be in the present. This is why meditation is so valuable.
This is one of the reasons I like teaching. It’s why I like getting up on stage because it is one of the only times that I have to be fully present 1,000% or I’ll fall on my face.
There’s only one challenge. None of this is easy. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do in your whole life–learning to be present in every moment–but also the most rewarding.
Tell us what you think. What are some of the common chatter phrases that drive you crazy? How do you deal with it? Share your stories, we want to hear from you!
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Hola Quiero asistir a su charla pero solo hablo español quiero conocerlo intento comunicarme con el Sr Harv
Yo te puedo ayudar.
igual me pasa a mi, es muy dificil entender las lesiones con el traductor de google, cuando podemos conocerlo. Gracias
This article is great! Yep, I do go to the future too often – it’s seems like. My way to be in the present moment is to get myself busy all the time. You know.. Sometimes it’s not possible so… Creating a future. Here’s what I noticed ; all my journey to the future ending up that it’s opposite or totally different especially when I think of a person behaviour such us: ok I go there and she will be there as well so I will ask her standing right in this hall – it’s never worked out this way . Unless I predict my presentations and inner feeling – that’s different. Still working on it and experiencing benefits for being in the present moment. Thank T. Eker you are great! I am reading your book and one of my aim is to come to your mind set ups shows! Soon we meet! Darek
Harv, this is a truly profound lesson. It is something I had learned — and forgotten — in a meditation class. Thanks for reminding me. I’m deeply grateful for your valuable lessons. I’m on my way to changing my life through your teachings. You’re a real ‘guru’. Thanks Again and God Bless.
I love today’s message. I recently read The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer which shares this same simple but so difficult concept. Thank you for this reminder to stop listening to that crazy voice inside my head. Your words are very often just what I need to hear. I love opening your emails, because I know the message will be on point and pertinent. Hope you have a super day!
I love The Untethered Soul! Trying to get my grown children to read it.
Thank you Harv, I needed to here this today. I will meditate more and be in the here and now
Hey Harv, great article as usual.
My chatter is usually focused on past regrets, missed opportunities, longing for the ‘good ole days’ of youth, etc…
And when it does switch to the future it’s almost always filled with, well, gloom and challenges that seem too big (and that’s when the stress kicks in).
Been mediating 10 mins a day for the last week as well as exercising and it definitely helps bring me back to the present. And I’m back in the present then everything just becomes clear.
Thanks again for the sound advice!
Thank you very much T. Harv Eker.
Two other manners to stop chatter:
1. Put your hands in the air, and turn your eyes upwards.
2. Start laughing !
André thanks I shall definitely do this one, two (hahahah)
Dear Harv, thank you so much for making this vailable. it is simple and profound and it is always good to hear the wisdom that has come to me over the past years again and again and what a pleasure to read it hear and so, so often find a real good nugget or two. See, as your generosity allowed me to participate in a free webinar and I saw you live, I could imagine you reading this out to me, speaking to me. So, a nice moment of the past enriches the present and in this moment I find it extremely hard to think of any mind chatter! I give up :). I am present. Thank you, Harv!
This is a great lesson Harv, thank you.
We must learn to deal with this chatter box, sooner or later if we want to realize the need of self-actualization. Thoughts are something which happens in our brain, we don’t need to associate our identity with it, instead our identity in the world gets created and established by our actions only.
Breath is also a bridge between body and mind (emotions). We don’t have direct control over emotions but we can do regulate our breath instantly in present moment, and thus by controlling our breath we can have indirect control over our emotions as well. Deep breathing, ujjai breath, pranayam, Anulom-Vilom are all great techniques to learn this secret.
Once again, thanks for sharing million dollar lessons with us 🙂
Love n smiles
Bharat
Some of my common chatter phares have to do with failure and looking at the past to try and fix my present because I feel like the past keeps repeating itself. So I continue to look for things to avoid in my to improve. I stay positive and centered I meditate. But I sometimes find my self stuck and the process repeating its cycle. I’ll take the advice from this reading and try to reasure my inner child that everything will be on and we can figure this out!!!!
I just learnt “being present” from the book “The power of now”. I am still working on it. When I want to be present, I listen to all the noises and silence around me: the birds, the cars, the silence before another car goes by.
Thank you Harv, this is exactly what I need to hear today, right now. I have taken this important step out of my daily, or weekly routine and I find myself thinking about the future too much instead of being in the present. Thank you for your wonderful wisdom and teachings.
Thank you Harv! Being Present, Being Powerful & Being Peaceful is on my board now 🙂
Thanks a lot for all your precious comments!
Harv, you really nailed it when you said the mind – bless it – is always on the look out to make us unhappy. It’s a continuous assault. Thanks for the answer.
It’s interesting you say, “Stay in the present” because I have been taught to always see myself into the future…to act as if I have already accomplished my goals and to visualize myself already there…Please elaborate more…
In 1980 I was 19 and was in a terrible car accident, I had a severe head injury. I have no memory of what happened and 5 days after. It was after this that the conditioned mind started and has tormented me ever since. I did not understand why and have searched for years and years. This is the first answer – the what it is, why it is happening and how to control it. Thank You So Much.
GRACIAS.
Thanks Harv, great information. I really needed to read this today!
Very interesting article! And very timely, I might add… I’ve been trying to work on this issue for a while, and been having a hard time with it. This article gives me the tools to move in the right direction. So I thank you!
Harv, thanks but what are you saying? Oh I forgot I am in the present, now and again now, and again now, now, now, now, now
The universes works in mysterious wa6s. I have been struggling with negative self talk this week. I really needed your lesdon.
Harv so so true my mind drives me crazy a lot of the time the endless chatter wears you down and makes you tired,despondent and fed up.
Thanks for your honesty that it will be hard. Will try your hints.
I learned the “thank you for sharing” several years ago from you. That helps. I also say out loud, “my mind says …” “my fear is…” “my spirit says…” to help me differentiate between my mind frick, fears, and spirit.
Thank you so much. I have been reviewing my I formation and this was one of my big takeaways at the last event. It works!
I never hear this, but I learn today, or every single day, with T, Harv Eker, book, thank you, Mr Harv Eker,
I am constantly worried whether or not i will make a sucess of my life.
Excellent article. Not sure if T. Harv takes the time to read these comments here; anyway, just would like to know if there are plans to come to the Middle East anytime soon and dictate the conference Millionaire Mind Intensive.
Apologizing in advance- the following is an inspired dump of all the crap my mind says to me- just writing it out made me so aware of the beliefs I’ve been thinking were mine- not so- I heard my gramma, my mom, my grandpas, my dad, my great gramma, my other grammars- all that table talk when I was a little girl, sitting with them hearing their common thought on life. It’s deeply ingrained. Now this is my turn to reveal their identity. As I wrote the following, the thoughts lifted. So wonderful to reveal the imposter behind the curtain- these are not my thoughts- they are the ones I heard and were told me by well- meaning loved ones who wanted to protect me. My mind adopted the sayings and made them my own, but there’s always been an inner war too: I want to dream. I am a dreamer. I do want to think big. I do want to succeed. I do want to bring in $15,000 a month serving greatly. I can do it. I am a success. I can earn the money I want to earn. I can be who I want to be. I can do the impossible. I can live the life I want. The sky is the limit. There is no limit. Anything I can believe and dream I can achieve. Period. So here’s my mind chatter rant that subtly weaves itself through my days, but not anymore bc I just busted it’s cover and announced their deception to the world here. If you find yourself in the following, may you get THE POWER ALSO! “It can’t happen” and “don’t get your hopes up” and “you’ll just get discouraged and end up again back at zero-this doesn’t happen for people like you” and “you’re just lorraine- it won’t happen” and “stop fooling yourself” and “just be happy with where you are” and “stop dreaming so big- you know it’s just not gonna happen” and “it can’t happen for you” and “just give up” and “there’s no way” and “stop fooling yourself” and “don’t let yourself get disappointed- just take the easy route” and “you’re going to get your heart broken” and “you’re just a dreamer” and “be practical” and “just quit” and “stop believing” and “you’re not good enough”
Man, my energy just dropped deep. One of them sunk in again. So I’m going to elevate and ask whose thought I’d this? Return to myself. My true self. Many blessings to you.
Excellent Post! Thanks a lot!
Gracias Harv, es un regalo poder recibir estos consejos, y vivir sin estar en el pasado o en el futuro es como dices muy difícil pero lo voy a empezar a hacer desde hoy. Gracias por el Mail.
Thank you Harv. For me this was the most powerfull lesson so far and it came at the right moment. You are an awesome teacher. God bless you for sharing this.
Thanks T. Harv .
For me is reminding what works. Some more manners I use:
Expressing Gratitude and appriciation.
Listing and counting my blessings
Thanks Harv!
I made the fight with my mind . daily battle goes on. my bad chatter i my head is: negative minds about my girl, i try to not accuse her and not complain because i know that many of decisions made a bad conseqences in my life.this is my primary problem at the present. i try to repair myself and take control in my life. i know its very difficult but i think, life in sadness is more difficult. i will do that because im a fighter. i need to learn a life mechanisms who You give to me and life right here and right now and make my happyness, succes and strenght!!
in the name of rule:
Why not!!:)
to our freedom!!
Some time people’s behaviour heart me
I’ve thought a lot about this piece this week. I realized that I use to map out a calender every month for my children on who was going where and when and kept it on my refrigerator. Then I would go into our business and map out what job was going to be done when, what the receivables and payables were and planned two months in advance. I did this for 15 years until I came up against a situation where all plans were off and shattered.
At that point I sat in rooms with people that just wanted to get through an hour and I could relate to that feeling. It was a crisis that brought me to “right now”; and that was all I could handle was “right now”. I quit planning and I learned to be okay with it. I learned to be present with “what is” for “right now” and I took it one day at a time.
I realize that some planning is necessary. I’m okay with it if plans made get changed.
Being present in each and every moment is something I continue to work on daily.
Thanks for this topic.
Thanks Harv, I am new to your LMC programme and have been meditating for a while. I had a rather interesting experience this week. Even though I have been meditating to ensure “presence” , I have been feeling rather out of sorts, not being able to connect and I have not been able to put my finger on what the cause of my dis-ease was. I did some intensive energy body work and the negative chatter exposed itself in all its glory. I was not able to suppress it as I normally would, so I acknowledged it, embraced it and my meditations have been alot more connected and present since. Thank you for putting it into perspective. Kind regards,
Absolutely wonderful! You Nailed IT! I am so thankful for this article! and to you Sir Eker!
You help me a lot in understanding How should I deal with two negative creature in my head!
I am ready to work for it, Right NOW!
Wow this is AWESOME! I just translated this to share it with my team and the ppl i know!
I have many fears.. yeah! so much conditioned thoughts like: this is hard.. this is too much to be true… u want it, but u cant have it… etc etc…. but im starting to stop those negative chats away… and change them for good… so im doing good with step one….. Step 2, gonnna be hard, but not impossible..!!!! what am i doing?… well i think i had a great start by doing some yoga and meditation…. start to stay present is gonna be my goal this year!!
Thanks so much Harv!! You rock! :*)
” Do not go into the past.” I see this comment repeated a lot by self help practitioners, and I respectfully disagree. I believe that past holds a lot of answers to today’s behavior, and to not go back and look at it with an eye to understanding it, and then thoughtfully releasing it is dangerous.
It can be painful to go back into the past, to look how, when, and by whom patterns of, often self-destructive, behavior were first formed. But, how can a problem be solved if there is no understanding of the problem in the first place?
Hi, I have read that to my 75 years old mom…. and we practiced on the spot, in a restaurant one night. After two hours, she seemed like she had lost ten years. She was amazed by what she discovered about herself. Thank you Harv!
With out any doubt T.Harv Eker is a most have Master. This is healind medicine for the soul. thank you for all the help, God Bless you!
Wow reading about T. Harv Eker only enhanced what i was thinking. Yes my thoughts may run up the past right quick tho I’m quicker to think about mowing the lawn keeping it cut neat just avoid negative thoughts. Then after awhile i put myself in a boxed room counting my money cause I’m on a mission too Build my foundation. I get detracted with minor things people take advantage of; after reading & understanding I feel like my brain is a sponge to practice postive feed back for my life. There’s this statement i read from ‘How to be a millionaire’ It quotes ‘Universe if nobody wants their blessing I’ll take it. Thank you! Unquote, been doing this for 2 yrs. Still at the level grounds with my life but my mind is full of my money & I gotta keep it flowing survive. I pray this book helps along my journey way. Kudos!
I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused by my family members. I wanted more and I believed I could have more, and I left. Unfortunately I continued the cycle in my relationships. However, I always believed in more for myself and pursued self-help, spiritual teachings and education on all subjects to expand my mind, heart and finances. I have spent over 20 years looking for exactly this information! This is the it factor, the secret, the abundance factor.. the thing that takes ordinary people to extraordinary places. Thank you Harv!
Sometimes one of the common chatter phrases that come to my mind is “what if …happens?” and think of all kinds of ways something can go. Then, I catch myself and realize that I need to simply relax and let things unfold as they do and bring myself back to the present. It’s true, once you do that, you tend to feel relief.
This is so true but so difficult to do. My mind is filled with worries like “I don’t make enough money, how will I pay the bills, what are we going to eat tomorrow, my boss does not respect me, I don’t know how to do stuff and get things I want…”. I meditate and I try to stay positive, visualize and feel the good life, but then the present slams me so hard right in the face. How do I win this game, what shall I do?
It sounds even more impressive in Harv’s Tough Love Mentoring, and this really works! See also:
https://youtu.be/gBuZ9sX8wMw
Great work, Harv!
Hi Harv, how are you?
The thoughts that drives me crazy are about tragedies I imagine happening to myself… I think I have these thoughts because I’m afraid to face some things in my life and take action… so I visualise bad things to protect myself of the unknown…