Forgiveness
Last week we took a look at how anger is one of the bitterest pills you can swallow. It’s the pill that doesn’t dissolve. It just sits there, potentially poisoning any and all good that comes into our lives.
You can’t have a fresh start to a relationship—with people, money or anything else—until you’ve cleaned up that lingering resentment with your parents, spouse, friend, lover, relative or whoever hurt you in the past. If you don’t clean that up first, you’ll drag that hurt with you.
A quote that I really like is from a book called ‘Your Cosmic Destiny’ by W.A. Chapman. It says, “Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”
So how do we let go of anger? We looked at opening ourselves to the other person’s perspective: there might be something going on that we didn’t know about.
The other part of letting go of anger is to forgive those people, even if they were dead wrong; even if they’re still freakin’ jerks. We all do the best we can at any given time. It may not be one of our best moments in life, but it’s the best for that time. Understanding this simple truth makes a huge difference in letting go.
Whatever happened to make us so upset, it’s not the event that has us any more. It’s the story about the event and our choice to keep that story alive. All we have to do is remind ourselves that both us and those we’re angry with were not getting (or perceived we weren’t getting) what we wanted, and both www.fertileheart.com/clomid-clomiphene-infertility-treatment/ side’s reactions are based in fear. Our conditioning blocks our higher selves from stepping back and looking at things as they are, not as we fear them to be.
When we become aware, though, we now have an opportunity to make new choices. We can consciously choose to come from our higher self—be the person we know we can be—forgive and move on, remembering that punishing them any longer only hurts us.
So you don’t necessarily forget but you do necessarily forgive. Forgiveness is the key because when you release them from their deed (or non-deed as may be the case) you automatically release yourself from the anger and negative emotion around that deed.
It’s been way too long, with too much hurt and too much pain. For your own sake, tell whoever you need to that you forgive them, or that you’re at least willing to let it go. Forgiving is not condoning, and it’s certainly not forgetting. Forgiving is our way toward healing.
Here’s what’s important to remember, though: do not expect ANYTHING from them! Heck, in your mind that person “deserves” your forgiveness, but they may feel like they don’t need any forgiving. They might actually be resentful toward you, but that’s okay. It’s not about them. The process is for you. Say your piece, hear and accept their side, and be on your way in peace.
What was the most impactful result of forgiveness that you’ve experienced—from either side of the equation? What significant changes in your life happened as a result of clearing anger and resentment with someone important in your life? We want to hear from you!
I still have a hard time forgetting about the sexual abuse from my step-father as a child! I have forgiven him not in person but in my mind! I have a hard time forgiving my mother though as She knew what was happening and she let him because she didn't want him touching her! They are still together but that is because my mom could't make ends meet without him!
I spent many years being angry at my mother for trying to push me into a career which held no interest for me. She wanted me to become a doctor or an accountant.
By the age of 25 I had failed to get into medical school, dropped out of an accountancy course and was unemployed.
But my mother was a first generation migrant to this country who had struggled to make ends meet and didn't want her son to do the same. She thought that the only way I wouldn't struggle was to have a steady, secure profession like being a doctor or an accountant.
Once I knew my mother wanted the best for me I was able to forgive her and move forward with my life. In a little over 3 years I went from being unemployed to earning a six figure salary.
Such is the power of forgiveness…..As the saying goes, “the past should be a place of reference and not residency”
Forgiveness is so powerful, it is life changing, not only have our own lives changed as a result but we have helped thousands of others find freedom in their lives as a result of forgiving.
Check out http://www.thesecrettolettinggoandmov...
Forgivness this is a word I like:) it equates to healing and happiness. It in no way means that peoples actions were right however if you have decided that you would finally like to replace the previous associations that you have had with something quite special, if you have got to the point where you realised that not everyone is the same and that since life is finite you are prepared to discover the beauty that exists if your soul is crying out that the time has come to finally free yourself from the past then you will not only forgive you will be able to finally see amazing miracles and love from the ones you never realised possible, emrace you and support your unconditionally. How much longer in relation to your life do you chose to suffer dont you deserve to live love and be free of this fear to change history for good? Forgive not to be good but to be Free and start living your higher full purpose. With Love always unconditionally , Miss Katy Dee Jacksxxx
I've been to Harv's MMI before. Learned to forgive the one that i hatred & myself from Sweetney. In 1 year time, i started my own business & make 6 figures sales in this business. Deep in my hear i know that it's not the money that count, it's the capability that forgiveness gave me — so that i stay focus on my goal & move forward, and never look back since then.
“Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” -W.A. Chapman Isn't that the truth? Forgiveness is the alchemy to transmute poison into power.
My cousin forgave an ant for biting her. She said 'ok, just a bite, no bleeding, no mark, you are forgiven, shoooo………..' and have a happy day. If not, she could have bitten the ant back in vengeance and still had a ruined day.
This is so true, anger and never know how to forgive people will hold us front improving.
I have a deceased brother. When he was alive his in-laws came while he was at work and took away his wife and 2 children..took items they wanted and threw his Bible in the floor…He came driving in my parents driveway…came inside and sat down in a chair–we didn't know what was wrong and he cried for 2 hours before he could tell us. He'd came home with a raise from his job, and his life was devastated!!!
Later in life, he forgave them–even carried their picture–worked himself crazy and sent them about 90 percent of his paychecks… He forgave but I didn't for years–after a seminar I finally called and asked them to forgive my unforgiveness! What a relief!
I find forgiveness to be an interesting notion as what we see in others we have in ourselves so wouldn't forgiveness suggest that we have not wronged anybody or that we have not done the same. In other words is forgiveness not a self righteous act?
How do you know that you are subconsciously holding on to unforgivness?
What a lovely reminder. Thanks for sharing.
Write on!~
Lisa
I noticed a sexual abuse comment, and I decided to post. I don't know if I'll ever forgive my half-brother for what he did to me, but then I've learned its not about him. Although, I did blame him for how my brain reacted to the situation for so many years (I blocked it for 20 years and when it surfaced I could look back and see how the abuse caused me to react differently to so many situations in life than would be thought as a normal reaction.)
A few years ago I decided I was sick of remembering, sick of worrying, sick of focusing on him and my past. I wasn't paying enough attention to my present to be able to prepare for my future. So I let it go. I never said “I forgive him” but more “I'm done with this and I'm not going to let this control me anymore. Only I control me.”
In the past few years I came upon a struggle with forgiving my mother for all the things “she did wrong” (in my opinion). She ignored me, pushed me away, and treated me like I was the ugly duckling kid of the family. And when she wasn't shoving me away, she was trying so hard to make me into something I'm not – her. But I've come to realize that she did a lot of that because she: 1. Didn't really have good parenting techniques, and more importantly – 2. I reminded her so much of herself – and she has issues with herself that I can't help her with (so while she abused me for reminding me of her, she also expected – and still does – to act and think like her). Luckily I figured out that I didn't have to treat my own children that way, and I've become a better parent because of what I've learned about my mother. And I know that no matter what she may have done or didn't do, she truly believes she loves me as only a mother can love a child. I've accepted we are 2 different people believing differently about how to approach things and life, and I hope one day she'll accept that too.
Ah Sweetness!! I know the feeling but the leitntg go turned life into a daffodil again!!I so want to blog Heidi, but I just don’t seem to have enough time at least I get time to journal so I shouldn’t complain.Love you lots!!