The Real Reason Why Most People Are Throwing Away Their Success

As someone who has been in the self-development business for over a decade, I’ve just about seen and heard it all.
One common thing that I see again and again–much to my heartbreak–are those people who start either mine or someone else’s program that they told me they had signed up for, but then either didn’t attend, dropped out early, or just simply blew it off. It happens all of time. The sense of urgency that made them want to start in the first place gets lost.
It really is important to finish what you start. Why? It’s a matter of one word: integrity.
One definition of integrity is being honest and having strong moral principles. These are of course important, but the other definition of integrity is being whole and complete.
When you don’t finish what you start, you simply lose pieces of your being; of who you really are in your completion. That doesn’t feel very good and it certainly doesn’t do you any good if you want to succeed at anything.
When you don’t do what you say you’re going to do, you lose confidence. Confidence comes from the Latin word confidere, which means to trust. When you don’t do what you said you were going to do, or you don’t complete what you said you were going to complete, you start losing confidence in yourself. That cuts off your intuition, impedes actions negatively, and gets you stuck in the wrong habit cycle if you ever want to be consistently happy.
When someone else doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do, what happens? You think, “Ugh, how unreliable!” Do you think it’s different for you? When you don’t do what you said you were going to do, pretty soon you start feeling really bad about you.
Conversely, once you start to do whatever it takes to keep your word, you feel good about yourself. That’s going to spill over into every other part of your life. True or true?
The question becomes: what is stopping you from completing what you said you were going to do? Which part of you is not supportive of you keeping your word?
Sometimes it takes a lot of effort and time to uncover our unconscious motives and agendas, but just as patterns build up over time, we can also consciously break them.
We all have these parts of us; the wizard, the nurturer, the lover, and so on. Here we’re dealing with the warrior. The warrior is a simple principle that says you must keep your word. Your word must become law in the universe for you.
From here on out, whatever it is you start: a book, a self-development course, a frickin’ jigsaw puzzle … you finish. You don’t do it for the book, or the program, or for whatever the outcome. That’s a byproduct.
You do it to keep your word.
If you cannot do what you said on the small things, what makes you think you’re going to do what you said on the big things?
“Do you know what? I’m going to make $1 million this year.”
That’s a big thing that you just said. At the same time, you just said that you’re not going to drink Coke for the week, and what did you do? The next day you were drinking Coca-Cola.
The key to life is to discipline the part of you that is trying to take you out of your success. Put yourself into some practice.
Exercise: What’s one habit that is really not supporting you?
Is it looking at your emails on your computer as soon as you get out of bed, before you even brush your teeth and go to the bathroom? That’s a bad habit. That just sucks, okay? I know because I used to have that habit. A lot of people do.
Tame one unsupportive habit for one week to gain confidence and trust in yourself. Start with something doable. Tell us how it goes. We want to hear from you!

I created this class to support you in doing what you say you are going to do. This class is all about getting you into momentum to gain confidence and trust in yourself.
I highly recommend it and just for reading this blog, I’m going to invite you to register as my guest.
For Your Freedom,







Thank you for this important message. Bless xx
Thank you. I am trying to make small dreams become a big dream.
Yes! I’d say my bad habit that gets in the way of my success is not calendaring everything. I’m going to find a way to get my calendar right in front of my nose so I’m more likely to use it effectively every day.
The one habit that really not supporting me is being late for work. I will get up earlier to be on time for work.
At which time exactly? Makes it more likely to succeed.
Perhaps not being on time is your Angeles way of telling you that job no longer serves you.
If you were doing something that makes your heart sing you would not be late.
–namaste’
No, I go with Harv’s description. Yes, it would be a sign, but the point is keeping your word no matter what; period. And if Tonya gives her?self that, then her work will be a much aliver source of pleasure and likely profit as well, even fi she then chooses to move on. It’s the relationship with self, not the job, and yes, of course including the relationship with one’s choices ( ie the job, as you mentioned) but the point is the relationship with oneslef no matter what. Eh, remember that Harv is a good old school New Yorker. Straight to the heart of the matter, no bs, which is how to come really straight from the heart= full trust…is what I’d say. What think you? What do you know…
Thank you for your encouraging message again! Eye-opening knowledge as always.
Thank you T. Harv Eker for share this important point, “we have to keep our word as we say”. Saludos
Thank you for the timely message that seems oh so simple on paper but frustratingly hard in life. I will stop trying and just do it. Thank me!
thank you for this amazing message.
Yes, this is confirmation. Another puzzle for my life to be a successful!
Excellent Post, thank you!
I’m absolutely convinced that the Universe sent these words for me! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you for this. My bad habit is the bed. I need to get up earlier everyday. I will not let myself down.
Thank you, it’s true ! Integrity and perseverance are necessery to gain confidence and succeed.
Thank you once again Harv! Was finding reasons not to run this morning! I’m tired due to starting a business one month ago! But I know when I run, keeping myself in physical Check, I am better within my business on all levels! I am going to put my running clothes on right now and feel good! I said I would run 5 days a week and I’m going to follow through! Thank you
Thank you, Tarv. This was a good read and indicator that I am on the right track. It clarifies things for me. You’re the best!
Any reminder which held me refocus and return to possibility is a habit I would like to Incorporate Now! To OUR Freedom!
Thank you for such a powerful word of encouragement. More grace and blessings upon you! I ma practicing this and i am seeing how i am becoming more productive and efficient in my work.
productivity is the best,where can I follow you? fb? twitter?
Wow! Right on time! Sharing this with my network! Thank you for the REFOCUS!
I tried to give up sweets for one week, as I had failed many times previously. This time too, by the second day the temptations were pouring in.
From Wednesday to Saturday..there were cakes, timbits, chocolates etc., I almost caved in, somehow, I fought my temptation as I was making a sacrifice on behalf of others, as a spiritual fasting. I thought of others, as a result I DID IT!
Next one will be to keep away from emails the moment I wake up.
Thanks Harv!
Hey Good for you!! Get some more nuts, eggs and bacon, good fats, pure protein, they say coconut anything is really good for this without the sugar..Honey’s better, apparently it has an element that balances out the usual sugar blood swings.. and those cravings will calm down. And may I suggest Dr. Berg’s work, if you don’t know it. Down to earth, does his real research, is a real doc..drberg.com I believe. Good luck and wishing you deepest health!
When you establish balance with high nutrient foods, those cravings go away. Check out the Nutritarian diet. So far I love it. No meats for now. I made cherry chocolate ice cream in 10 mins and sweetened as I do everything with Stevia. No cravings! Honor your mind, body and spirit by take as good care of yourself as you do for your loved ones!
No more email checking in the morning
Thanks, Harv. Actually I read your message as I checked email before getting out of bed, ha-ha. There is a reason for everything. Thanks for motivating me!
I think the bad habit is not trying hard enough to save up the funds I need to register for those courses. However, that comes from having responsibilities that seem unavoidable. I think I should learn to make the investment in myself and hope things get better and I can easily take care of those problems, with more resources available to me.
Don’t “hope” they will get better. Establish your vision for what you want. Give it details like you are watching your life as a movie in present time. Your passion for what you want will make you magnetic, particularly is what you dream of and long for is good for the world as it is good for you. I am a Universal Laws of Attraction life coach. Harv Eker is actually including some of the principles in his teaching, intentionally or not. MicheledotMaddox4atgmail.com
I am here to help.
Thanks..I really needed this motivation today..
Cool, just got into the habit of learning Russian, and I have been studying for 16 days in a row now, despite having lost nearly a year doing some work but not consistently. True Harv, we have to keep our word no matter what, and I will speak fluent Russian sooner than later.
I have been doing this for over 20 years… And, oh yeah, I am a Millionaire! : )
what have you been doing for 20 years?
You are so right! Thank you!
Starting an offline evening ritual before going to bed. Reading and journaling about succeses of the day will help.
Please find me on fb to hold me accountable.
Woooweee you are right on……I do start things….like this course…and then life gets in the way and I get behind and then I get frustrated and then maybe I finish and maybe I don’t……Ok, starting now I will see this course all the way to the end……funny how we can be very disciplined in some areas of our life and not at all in other areas….hmmmm also interesting how when someone is needing my help I am always available but to stick to something that is for me………not so much???
My issue is that some programs start off well, then fall apart. You sign up for one thing, then you are advised to sign up for another and perhaps three more. And for each new one you are paying fees and registering for monthly payment plans that seem to provide limited value. I often feel like a fly that has fallen into a spider’s web, which in internet world is called a funnel. That is not right.
I love T Harv’s quote that states “the way you do anything is the way you do everything.” It carries a lot of truth. Pat yourself on the back for being open to improving your life.
The message is clear. discipline takes time and effort.
I have the bad habit of checking my email and other accounts first thing in the morning when my time could be better spent on life enriching activities. I hereby commit to one week of not logging onto my computer first thing in the morning.
I’m a crafter who never met something with thread she didn’t want to try. Consequently, I have MANY projects around the house that I’ve started but never finished. Frequently, it’s because I’m the designer, and I thought I was going to go one way with something, then didn’t like it and was uninspired about another direction to take. Sometimes, it was because it was going to be more time-consuming than I thought it would be and I knew I wasn’t going to make whatever deadline I had, so I did something else and then had no particular reason to finish it. Other times, I set something aside because it was something I just wanted to do, but then something more urgent came along that I had to do and there are only so many hours in the day, and then I never picked it up again. But regardless, I’ve been about finishing projects for about the last year and a half. I’ve made a significant dent in them, but there always seem to be more crawling out of the woodwork. It’s a little daunting to realize how much of that has been weighing down my life. When it comes to commitments to others, I’m very careful to never tell someone I will do something I don’t think I can get done because of time or whatever — but apparently I have trouble treating myself with the same integrity. That’s an interesting realization. Breakthroughs coming thick and fast, these days…
Thank you very much this message spoke to me. I do have the problem of not finishing what I started. IT’s a matter of integrity. How I short change myself. From here on I commit to see things through. I see the reasons why this is important. Thanks again Harv. Blessings!
Awareness is the first step to change, stay plugged in right here, you are on the right track Jean.
My problem is that I want to start so many things, made so many commitments. Not enough time to fit it all in. Need to focus on one thing to complete. I need to create a priority list and then finish one, then another, then another. I have been trying to finish everything and finishing nothing.
Definition of Integrity: Stay true to yourself always no matter what,
when you quit or do not do as you said you would do, chaos will take over. Once you lie to yourself, you can recover but struggle will ensue.
Great message T Harv. Your information changed my lifestyle in a great way. I am staying connected. Thank you!
This is a great message Harv, I have done this class before and my life was cruising along and I had a spoke put in my wheel so to speak. Running a business without proper guidelines firmly in place. Any way as I am trying to get everything back together this is just the help I need for my own confidence. I have now implemented a proper workplace guidelines for employees so I don’t get left hanging again but it sure knocks the wind out of your sails when you don’t see it coming.
Great article! This principle never occurred to me before. I never realized that it was inconsistent to change my mind…especially over a personal goal that seemed like a minor adjustment. Thanks for sharing your tips. Your passion and love for the people you serve is very noticeable.
i’m working on my discipline,great message Harv.
I am working on NOT COMPLAINING. Saying nothing when things are bleak and thinking instead of APPRECIATION for the opportunity that lies ahead.
This is so true! Thank you, Harv, once more. It’s the “””simple””” things where we underestimate just how essential they are.
For me, I must cut out after dinner TV – for starters I’ll do one week.
I will report.
Awesome reminder that a neural pathway has been created and change is going to happen and actually it has happened already and I am feeling the new behavior take hold. Then I have accountability and responsibility for what is truly happening! Thanks!
A fantastic message today, one of the questions you have mentioned before is how much of my time must I give up to achieve what I desire? I have been looking at this question for a while now and a few days ago realised that this was a point that has been holding me back. I reworked the question to ‘what must I give up to achieve success?’ and the answer was TV and reading (both of which I have been using as an escape) In the last few days my productivity has increased and my creative energy has exponentially increased.
I have many courses and modules which I have yet to complete and it is true that I have been building in a habit of non-integrity into my life. I am finally putting my goals down on paper and working on them and have added the goal of finishing the courses I am currently on and deriving maximum benefit from them and only ever signing up to a training course with the intention of finishing it.
Thank you so much for the timely information.
I love T Harv Ekers style – it really hits home, is authentic but truly funny at the same time.
Thanks a lot!
Best wishes!
Christine
I am not choosing (or to use Harv’s word – committing). I love being comfortable and relaxing. If I could make a living from comfort and relaxation, I would do it. That said, what really stops me is probably my perspective of not investing myself. I have had a tendency to view investing my energy as onerous and exhausting. This morning I journalled that I might flip that perspective to viewing investing my energy as a privilege and to one of sharing myself.
Thanks. I feel, tha is one of the things I know but it helps me to hear it fron someone else.
Thank you for the message.
I decided yesterday while I was reading your book, that I wouldn’t eat sugar for a week (which is a very bad habit for me) and also wouldn’t complain about anything for a week. I’m really confident that I don’t wanna be a victim anymore! I’m doing really well!
Wow.. Suddenly your message hit me.. The message itself , not just the packaging. Often , I find I am shutting down from a large amount of packaging or process.. Somehow, the message reached me. Thanks Harv
wow, i just want to read inspiring stories everyday at least half-hour .
Thank you Harv for this important reminder in life.
It just make sense! And yea, with you being my mentor in Million Dollar Business Secrets have changed me a lot in terms of mindset and how to start and do the small things like negotiation, marketing etc. I’ll promise myself, I will complete it. And also go all out to complete what I have started. Then only it is fair for myself too!
Cheers!
Thank you for this message, Harv. I see myself in it. I now know the damage to myself that it does.
One by one I am going to complete what I had begun. I am going to live my life with integrity: now that I am aware of what I should be doing.
Best of all I PROMISE to continue and complete my PhD program. That is really what I want for myself.
Thanks again for your kind words of encouragement.
sometimes – I sign up for webinars and am not able to attend as the timezone is in America and I am in Singapore. I prefer the on-demand version sometime later.
Other times – I went for an event and realise that I cannot stay for the entire duration. I know it can create a negative impression to the speaker from overseas. This is not meant to be impolite.
so -I pen the tasks inside my diary to remind me of what I said I will do.
I will also sense and perceive from the reactions of others in what I am doing.
this is not about bulldozing my way through.
Yes – T. Harv – one needs to keep to one’s words