A Closed Mouth Never Gets Fed

Closed Mouth$

I don’t watch a lot of television, but this one commercial sticks out to me about a kid who was born with seemingly ultimate confidence: asking girls out for dates even though he’s clearly shorter and younger; graduating college when most graduate high school; performing open-heart surgery in a crowded concert hall with a ballpoint pen. But when it comes to negotiating a fair price for a new car, he’s frozen in his tracks.

One of the reasons I think that commercial works so well is because it taps into a common fear that a lot of people have; how to negotiate. No one wants to feel like they just got conned.

If you think about it, though, we’re using negotiations all the time: reaching agreements with our loved ones, friends, or employees. “Where do you want to eat? What movie do you want to see? I think I deserve a raise of …”

If you settle for Italian food rather than the Chinese you really wanted, it isn’t that big of a deal, is it? In business, though, you potentially have so much more at stake while negotiating. Whether you’re a buyer or a seller, you want to get better pricing and more favorable terms. As the old saying goes, “In business you don’t get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate.”

For a lot of people that’s disheartening because they either think the strategies of negotiating are beyond them, or because there may even be a little guilt factor; if they win, the other person is losing.

First of all, both parties can win, and if anything you want to avoid win/lose or lose/lose situations altogether. Secondly, even if you have the best intentions, you can’t make choices for your fellow negotiator, but you can always help yourself by doing this one simple thing: ask for a better deal.

People are so afraid of hearing “No” that they often don’t even try. You have nothing to lose by just asking! A good friend of mine once told me, “Harv, a closed mouth won’t get fed.” Open your mouth! Say something if negotiations aren’t going the way you’d like.

There is one thing you do want to hold back on: never come out with a number first. Why? Because they now have flexibility to make countering statements and reasons why not to go with what you want instead of affirming statements (For example, “That’s not in the budget”). You want to say things and be in a position to force them to admit, “Yes, that does make sense.”

The best negotiating tool is to tell the truth. Know what you wanted going in and the absolute least/most you can go that makes sense to your bottom line. Then communicate that to them. The idea of good negotiations is to work together so you both get what you want, you both feel good and the deal is fair. Win-win scenarios are not always going to work out, but better to aim for that—or choose not to enter into a deal that will leave either party resentful.

Ask for what you really want, be truthful and fair, don’t get attached to hard feelings if things don’t work out, and you might just find that negotiating is a helluva lot easier and actually more fun than people might think.

So now it’s your turn!  What are your feelings on negotiating?  Have you overcome obstacles in this area?  Do you still struggle when closing the deal?  Share your thoughts here.