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Category Archives: Mindset

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Be Right or Be Happy

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If you’ve ever related to another human being, you’ve probably experienced this.

You’re having a discussion with someone, and he or she says something you know as a matter of fact to be absolutely false. You can politely challenge this person’s inaccuracy, but most people don’t want to be wrong, and many others have a hard time admitting it. It’s human nature, our inner-fear mechanism adapted to today’s insecurities rather than the old “fight or flight” days. But depending on who you’re talking to, proving to somebody that they are wrong can get awkward if the people involved take it too personally.

Even when all evidence points to them being wrong, some people will stubbornly hang on to their views because they’d rather be right and comfortable in being wrong rather than risk the discomfort of having to assimilate new information into their worldview.

As a matter of fact, the people who are the most righteous are usually the most miserable people on this earth anyway, aren’t they? The ones who always have to be right are usually just taking their insecurities and unhappiness out on others, yes or yes?

Being right doesn’t always mean being happy, but if we’re happy it doesn’t really matter who’s right or wrong. Being right isn’t as important a consideration when you’re secure and focused. The only thing that’s important is: will the experience move me toward a result that I believe will support my happiness? That will mean being wrong sometimes, but we have to experience this in order to learn how to get it right, and then get happier.

Be right or be happy. Now replace the word “rich” with “happy.” Does that change the meaning of the phrase any? Not one bit! You can be right or you can be rich; it’s still a choice. Being right could mean holding on to old ways that aren’t supportive of being rich; unconscious blueprints, programming and conditioning that links negative thoughts to money. The more you decide that you want to be right, the more you’ve decided that you can pretty well kiss away being rich, not just financially but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally too. You can be right or you can be rich.

Money is a really blessed thing, and if you have the where-with-all to be able to earn or have a lot of it, you have an advantage over a situation; a gift, talent, skill or way of being that is actually a little different than most people out there. At that point, who needs to be right?!? The quality of your life is all the proof you need.

That doesn’t mean compromising your good sense to someone because of their inflexibility, but happy people don’t need to prove anything. They figured out that along the way, you have to be wrong at least occasionally in order to learn how to get it right. I’d rather be wrong and learn something that will benefit me later than “right” and learn nothing—and maybe get someone PO’d at me for being a smart-ass!

Do you have any stories of something that seemed like a disaster but actually turned out to be one of the greatest gifts you’ve ever received? An occasion where you were actually glad that you were wrong? We want to hear from you!

Prime Condition

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So … how’s your mental health these days?

There’s so much going on in the world—things certainly aren’t boring, that’s for sure! Signs of change are apparent, from cautious optimism on the economic front to political shifts around the world. While some respond to change with excitement and hope, others can see the same events with fear and apprehension, responding much differently.

I like the example of the twins abused by their father in childhood. One becomes abusive toward her own family later in life, while the other expresses the love and caring with her future family absent from her experience. Both ask, “How else would I be?” And both are right.

There are more than enough reasons to choose non-supportive responses to life’s shocks and tribulations, but we’ve still got to keep our inner game tight if we want to be happy and successful—regardless of what happened decades ago or last night—so let’s do some more mental check-ups, yes?

We’ve got to keep an eye on negative conditioning that takes hold and steers us away from what we want. We’re not going to let non-supportive conditioning take root, or we’re going to begin the process of uprooting that negativity.

In the example of the twins, very few if any people would knowingly choose to participate in abusive and unhappy relationships, yet that’s what shows up for the one that linked love with conflict rather than affection.

So now what happens? The twin that links love with abuse gets angrier, no matter who the relationship is with—the angrier she gets, the closer she comes to a point in her life where she’s sick and tired of being angry. Finally she says, ‘I just want to be happy and peaceful.’ She asks the same mind that created the link between love and abuse what to do.

Not knowing anything else but conflict, that same mind says, “If you want to get rid of the anger you’re going to have to get rid of the love,” and so she does, subconsciously. She sabotages herself or just takes herself out of the game completely.

By the way … the same goes for money, yes or yes? People with negative associations to money—who still make a lot of it anyway—manage to give it away, make bad investments or they have a divorce. Or people just don’t make it at all. Whatever the non-supportive associations, it usually comes down to an issue of awareness—knowing that these things are going on. And this goes for everything, not just money or love.

So what’s your condition? Stable? Critical? Are those roots supportive or non-supportive toward your success-building? Are they deep or are they shallow?
It takes conscious effort to uncover the different types of conditioning we undergo—from family roots, to school, church, and media, culture— the list goes on and on. It’s nothing that can truly be grasped and appreciated in just a few blogs.

However, take advantage of a community of like-minded people. Share your thoughts on the different ways we’re conditioned, the subtle yet profound ways this conditioning impacts us, and some ways you “debug” those programs—whether from Million Mind seminars or some tactics you’ve picked up along the way. We want to hear from you!

The Four Nicest Words

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Jumping Over a Challenge to Achieve Success

When you’re my age and you bring up entertainers who have been doing their thing for decades, you run the risk of dating yourself. But I think it’s safe to say even younger people are familiar with the late comedian George Carlin. He and a Pacifica radio station single-handedly changed Federal Communication Commission policies by letting us know what the seven filthiest words are in the English language.

There is no beating the comic genius of Carlin, but I can take a different track and offer some of the best words we can use to communicate powerfully and effectively, especially when you’re trying to influence someone positively.

These are things that we sort of already know intuitively: when engaging in conversation with friends or strangers alike, you want them to feel like you know where they’re coming from, even if you disagree with them. You want them to feel understood.

Hence, two of the four best words we can use when communicating: I understand.

If you can get into the habit of responding to every communication with the first two words being ‘I understand,’ generally you will disarm 80% of any negative or resistant energy right there and then. Even if you don’t understand, you say, “Can you clarify that for me just a little bit more?” It’s all about listening, yes? Make them feel heard and understood. Once you’re past that stage, work on the convincing part next.

What else have we instinctively learned about what to say? Well, what don’t you want to say after you’ve repeated back what the other person said yet you don’t agree with it? The dreaded ‘but.’ What usually happens when you say, “Yeah, I see what you’re saying, but …” You know. The other person gets that impatient or irritated look, like you just negated everything they were talking about even though you almost had them convinced that you knew where they were coming from.

The answer is as simple as replacing ‘but’ with ‘and.’ “Yeah, I hear what you’re saying, and here’s something else I was thinking about in addition to that.” It’s as easy as that.

Now what’s that last ‘nice’ word? It’s something that helps us identify with others while still also distinguishing our point of view, without making the other person feel like they’re being distinguished away from you. So instead of saying, “You have a ways to go,” you say ‘we.’

“You know, sometimes we as people have a tendency to make snap judgments even though we don’t have all the facts just yet.” That’s a nice way of telling someone they’re being short-sighted or pig-headed without making them feel bad about it. That’s a great tool in leadership or for anyone who displays openness to being educated.

The beauty of this exercise is that you don’t have to take mine or anyone’s word for it. Experiment with these four words consciously for the next week or so. Notice any differences in how people in your life react to you? Are you able to bring your perspective to others more effectively, or outright convince other people toward your point of view? Can’t wait to hear how it goes for you!

File Under ‘Mixed Messages’

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Corporate Ladder

In tough times like these, people are doing more than just making economic and lifestyle adjustments that aren’t always chosen or even wanted. People just do what they have to do.

With these outward changes, though, I believe it’s more important than ever to reexamine our attitudes and beliefs. For those who have been in the Millionaire Mind community for some time, you’re familiar with how blueprint impacts our mental, emotional lives, and economic lives.

We all have our own mental ‘File Box.’ It labels and stores information, yes? Certain ways of thinking and belief systems? The way you think can only come from the information in those files. If it’s not in the file box, you don’t think it.

Unfortunately most of us have file folders that have mixed messages in it. Mixed messages create mixed results. So if you believe that you don’t have the experience to start your own business even though you want to, you’ll act accordingly and never have the experience of starting your own business.  If you don’t believe that you have enough money to manage, you won’t manage your money, which means you’ll never have enough money to manage.

When you don’t periodically challenge your own beliefs, it’s kind of like driving with your foot on the gas pedal and on the brake at the same time. We’ve got mixed messages going out to the universe and to ourselves. We believe we want to get to where we say we want to go, yet some of our other beliefs hold us back.

We’ve got to revise some of those files or add some new ones so we can make new choices that seem perfectly logical and sensible toward what we want; files that support happiness and success versus those that don’t. We want to delete those files or at least neutralize them.

Whether you are naturally pessimistic or just facing uncertainty due to the current economic climate, develop the skill of challenging your negative, unconscious beliefs. However, instead of looking only at your beliefs, first look at your results and your ways of being! Look at your life and that will tell you what you MUST believe for those result to be there.

Describe your current life situation in the financial and work arena. Do you work for others, yourself, or not at all? Do you earn a lot of money, a little money, or a moderate amount of money? Where do you put your money if you have some? Are you a saver or a spender? Are you a risk taker or not? Do you love what you do or not?

Regardless of what you find, the truth is our lives are the way they are not just from circumstances we can’t control, but also because of that one area we can control though we don’t always take the time to do so: our belief system. We always act or not act in accordance with our beliefs. We co-share the results of this with the universe. Control what you can, and let the rest take care of itself.

Now it’s your turn. What are some of the things you’ve discovered about your belief system that may have surprised you? How long have you held on to these beliefs? How are you actively editing or deleting old, unsupportive beliefs? We want to hear from you!

How to Take the First Step and Get the Ball Rolling

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I believe we are spiritual beings living physical lives, and to make the most of this life we have to take care of, nurture, and more importantly listen to the clues that spirit gives us, mostly through gut intuition and feelings we have.

 

At some point, though, we have to honor the physical side of our lives as well, and that means taking action. To hell if conditions aren’t perfect, or if this circumstance isn’t quite ideal or that person isn’t following through the way they said they would. We’ve got to take all these spiritual principles and put them into action.

 

That’s exactly where a lot of people get stuck, even those with greater awareness and knowledge. You know you want to work out, need to get into better shape for the sake of generating more energy to work your mission. But what step is often the hardest to take? That first one.

 

Depending how long you had been in your last cycle, getting the ball rolling can feel like pushing a boulder uphill, metaphorically speaking. You need to build the next muscle and final spiritual muscle that separates the successful from those still waiting at the gate: momentum.

 

Momentum is that force that makes it easier for someone who’s successful to do what’s right than to do what’s wrong. Momentum is that process of getting that snowball moving. The hardest part about working out is getting to the gym.  Once you get there, it’s not that hard to do.

 

When you’re in motion, that’s when things begin to line up, not before (that goes for you perfectionist!). When in doubt, act. What did everyone else tell you? When in doubt, stop and think about it. No! That’s why I say thinking is dangerous to your wealth!

 

Most people who I know that got rich didn’t think too much. They saw a piece of property: ‘This looks good. Anything structurally wrong? Environmentally? No? Good, I’ll buy it.’ Twenty years later they’re very rich. They really planned that one out, huh?

 

Just as an aside, if you’re really “smart,” chances are you’re not going to be really rich. You’re going to get in your way, a real momentum killer. Those who aren’t too “smart” are open to knowing (A) They don’t know everything the need to know to be rich (B) Will learn how to be rich, even if it temporarily hurt’s their pride to know exactly how far off they were to begin with.

 

A body in motion will remain in motion and a body at rest will remain at rest. What do we want to do? Get into motion! Once you’re there, it gets easier. We already know that. Now we gotta just do it.

 

What in your life do you just need to get started and adjust as you go? What have you been waiting for? What’s the fear? Is that true or did you just make it up?

 

You will make it. Trust yourself. Love yourself and know that you make it all up. It’s your freaking story!

 

Now we want to hear from you! What are some positive momentum-changers that have worked for you?

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