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I always get asked about how to successfully negotiate without feeling like you’re taking advantage of the person you’re negotiating with.

Firstly, why is negotiating important?

Whether you realize it or not in business or in life you are always negotiating.

If you are a poor negotiator, you’ll spend a fortune.
If you are a good negotiator, you’ll save a fortune.
If you are a great negotiator, you’ll make a fortune.

Negotiation is a critical, critical skill.

Now, how do you negotiate a win-win situation?

How do you get what you want…without taking away what the other party wants?

For example, if someone wants to get more money, but I want to pay less, how do you make it work for both of us?

The problem that many people have is, they think that it’s a zero sum game. They think, “There’s one pie, so if I get fewer pieces, that means you get more.”

No. That is not how I teach the art of negotiation.

Instead of having a set amount of pieces in your pie—which inevitably leads to a feeling of scarcity—you just change the pie completely. Perhaps you now have an apple pie, cheesecake, chocolate donut… basically, whatever it is you both want.

Stick with me here—I’ll explain what I mean.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Different strokes for different folks?” This saying speaks to the fact that everyone values things differently, and everyone has different beliefs about what is important (or not).

The beauty is, this means everyone can get what they want—you just need to know what it is.

It’s true: when you negotiate, the most important thing is to find out what’s important to the other party. You already know what’s important to you—so no work is needed there.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say, at your company, you’re trying to pay less for a service or product. The party in question says they will charge $1,000. You say you just want to pay $700. So what’s the action there?

Just because you said you wanted $700 doesn’t mean they have to give it to you. This is why you need to have a rationale. So instead, in your discussion, you might find out that they were burnt last time by a company that they gave 60 days credit to and—they didn’t get paid. Perhaps they’ve been burnt several times.

This is where you need to think laterally.

Instead of simply focusing on closing the price gap, you could arrange to pay the $700 immediately, as opposed to in 30 or 60 days as is standard—thereby benefitting them with a speedy payment, while still paying a lower price.

See, that’s what they want. You give them what they want, they give you what you want. It’s not about taking anything away from them (or from you).

The point is, you just need to provide them with the value they’re looking for.

It’s about being creative and adding to both your lives, instead of minus-ing. If you do, you will make—and save—a lot of money.

Simply by asking some questions first and finding out what is good for the other party, you can easily create a win-win situation for everyone involved.

How do you practice negotiation? Do you have advice for reaching a win-win outcome? Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below!

Today we want to give you something special. We’ve decided to get some insights from someone who’s a good friend of ours.

The new year can mean new beginnings, true or true? Here’s your chance to turn over a fresh page in 2017 and have one of your best years yet.

12 Steps To Creating A Truly Happy And Fulfilled Life In 2017

by Sonia Ricotti

1. WRITE OUT YOUR GOALS. Take the time to do this one very important and crucial exercise. What do you want to accomplish in the next 30 days? Don’t just think about it or talk about it, write it down!

Studies have shown that the simple act of taking the time to write out your goals will dramatically increase the likelihood of achieving those goals!

So write, write, write!

2. LET GO OF “WHAT WAS”. It’s time to let go of the past (just leave it behind). Let’s face it, you can’t change the past. In fact, the past doesn’t even exist anymore. The only place it exists is in your mind.

Let it go. Learn the lessons, look for the silver-linings, and be grateful for what “is” today and what will be tomorrow…oooooohhhhh great things are waiting for you (if you are willing to “receive” them). It’s almost impossible to “receive” anything new and great when you’re holding on to the negative stuff from the past.

LET GO and move on. It’s time.

3. FORGIVE. Are you holding on to any resentment, anger or regret toward someone? It’s time to forgive, and again, let go.

The only person you hurt when you don’t forgive, is yourself.

Don’t let anyone rent space in your head.

Who knows why people do what they do or say what they say (sometimes they don’t even know themselves). Stop trying to analyze it and make it mean something it doesn’t. That’s just wasted energy. Just forgive and move on. Be the bigger person.

Sometimes, we need to forgive ourselves for something we’ve done or said; if that’s the case, forgive yourself and move on. No one’s perfect. We all make mistakes and have done and said things we are not proud of – let it go (as per #2 above) and forgive yourself.

Today is a new day. Choose to be the best person you can be, starting this day forward.

4. LIVE “OUTSIDE” THE BOX. Don’t follow the “crowd”. Most people are unhappy with their lives (according to studies). Be courageous and follow the path to your dream life (not your neighbors dream life, your parents’ dream life or society’s dream life)…this is YOUR life. YOU are the steering wheel of your life as Harv says, no one else is (unless you allow them to be).

5. ENJOY THE JOURNEY. Why? Because the “journey” is your life! Sometimes we focus so much on the end result or the “goal” we wish to achieve, that we are not even enjoying the journey it takes to get there. If you’re really hating the journey, then maybe it’s time to make some changes in your life and/or your goal.

6. FAIL FORWARD. Most people are afraid to try something new because they are afraid to fail. Remember, the most successful people on this planet failed way more than the “average” person. In fact, if you ask any super successful person, they’ll tell you how they failed A LOT!

Why did they become successful? Because, they never gave up.

Don’t ever let the fear of “failure” get in the way of living your dreams. If you fail, simply get back up, brush yourself off, learn the lessons you need to learn (that’s important), adjust your path and move forward…always move forward.

7. EAT HEALTHY AND BE ACTIVE. You only have this one body. Remember, if you get sick, you can’t trade it in for a new one.

What you do to your body today has a huge impact on how long you live and the quality of life you will lead in the future. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Start now.

8. BE THE MOST POSITIVE PERSON YOU KNOW. The words you use when you communicate with others, reflects your thoughts on the inside.

What you think about, you become.

Don’t get caught up in negative conversations or gossip with others. In fact, stay away from negative people altogether. They are “energy drainers”. They do not elevate you or your life. Remember, negativity is contagious and toxic — stay away from it. It will be difficult to manifest great things in your life being exposed to that negative energy.

Like Oprah says, “Be responsible for the energy you bring into a room.”

9. CREATE YOUR OWN “CIRCLE OF LIGHT”. Surround yourself with positive, highly evolved, loving people who elevate you.

Make it a priority that you will hang out with great, positive and loving people in 2017. Sometimes it’s hard to find those people in your immediate social surroundings, if that’s the case, step “outside the box” and go find them.

Join a fun and positive “meetup” group or a special group in your local area that focuses on “inspiration” or on a topic that revolves around living a “big” positive life.

10. LOVE MORE. Make it a priority to always come from a place of love. Whether you are standing in the grocery line, stuck in traffic, or having a conversation with a co-worker, family member or a friend, coming from this love “state” not only affects how you feel, it affects how others feel around you too.

How do you do that? Simply ask yourself “If I were coming from a place of love right now, how would I act?” and then do that.

Sometimes it can simply be acknowledging another person with a big genuine smile, giving a compliment or just refraining from getting into a confrontation when you’re placed in a negative situation.

11. GO WITHIN AND GET REALLY CONNECTED TO “SOURCE” (or the God of your understanding). Simply be still, be present and go within. Meditation is a phenomenal way to do that. There’s no better way to elevate your vibration, feel true inner peace and get the answers, solutions and guidance you are looking for.

AND last but not least…

12. FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT. Sometimes we get so consumed on the little things or we are so focused on achieving a specific goal, that we neglect the bigger and more important things in our life. Often, we don’t realize that — until it’s too late.

So what’s important?

RELATIONSHIPS – that is the most important “thing” in our lives. Don’t neglect, ignore, or dismiss the people who mean the most to you.

They won’t always be there.

Remember, life is short, don’t find out the hard way to learn this lesson (like many people do).

What do you think about this list? Can you relate to any? We want to hear from you!

Sonia Ricotti is a bounce back expert and bestselling author. She has helped thousands of students from around the world bounce back from setbacks and overcome obstacles to make comebacks in their life.

Passion is overrated.

“What? Okay Harv, now you’ve gone too far!!”

Let’s be clear, here. When it comes to the people we care about, or a cause, a mission, or…let’s just be honest here…sex and intimacy, then of course passion is good!

That’s not the kind of passion I’m talking about. What I mean is this whole idea that “If I’m not living my passion, then everything’s wrong!”

Let’s first of all take this heavy load off of the word “passion.” It used to be a good thing, now it’s frickin’ overrated! I can’t tell you how many people have a problem with their “passion,” as if it’s some holy grail to happiness and success.

All we really want to do is what we enjoy and makes us happy, yes or yes? But in everything we do…everything…there’s going to be some things that are really positive and some things that are not so positive.

Passion is something that people talk about because of its enthusiasm. The word enthusiasm comes from the Latin word theos, meaning spirit. So passion is really a connection to Spirit, and the word “alignment” in the context I’m using it in is aligning with your spirit.

So passion is not the be all and end all, but we do want to find out as best as possible what we are most in alignment with. We all have elements in life that we are more aligned with and others not so much.

The goal is to align as closely as possible with what resonates with your natural gifts and talents in an area you enjoy and helps other people in a way where they are willing to pay you.

Marsha Sinetar wrote a book called Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow. Half right, half wrong. Do what you love and the money will follow as long as you do your business intelligently, you market intelligently, and you handle people properly!

That’s not that hard, and it’s all learnable, but you want to be in an arena that aligns you with your nature, with who you really are. Those things usually come from what you were born with, and sometimes it just takes a while to find out what you’re naturally good at.

So not only is searching for that passion a mistake (it’s already in you; just calm down, be patient and let life unfold those answers for you), but the importance placed on the word tends to be overstated or simply misunderstood.

You don’t have to be “doing” your passion in order to be a passionate person and see that enthusiasm in every aspect of your life right now, if you chose that.

So, how do you uncover what best aligns with the interests you’re most passionate about?

I say start by going to a retail store like Barnes and Noble and buy any four magazines you like, the ones you would read anyway. They might be varied, but that’s why I want you to buy four of them. If you don’t want to go to the bookstore and buy magazines, just write down what you know your interests are.

Now you say, “Well, how can I make a living?” Look inside those magazines to see what’s hot, what’s not, what’s going on, what’s new or what you want to be part of. If you are in a situation where you have a job and you know this job is not your field of passion, then get a job in your field of passion for goodness sake! Try it out. See if it’s actually a fit for you. If it’s not, then move on to another area of interest.

If you find your passion and structure your business and career properly, you will increase your income.

Could you think of a better blessing than doing something you love and getting rich while you’re doing it? I can’t.

But back to the point of living in alignment is not that you’re 100% stoked about every aspect of every part of your life, including how you make money. The point is you enjoy life, yourself and the people you care about right now, whether you’re living your passionate dream career or not.

Tell us what you think. Share your stories and experiences, we want to hear from you!

When it comes to success, here’s the bottom line: if you don’t have a “why,” you’re not going to have motivation.

One of the biggest things I teach is that for you to succeed, you need to have a purpose, a reason, for whatever you’re going to be doing.

For you to have a lot of money, you need to have a purpose for having a lot of money.

The truth is, most people don’t have a lot of money because they don’t have a big and important enough reason to.

Most people are not financially free because they don’t have a big and important enough reason to be. It’s just not important to them.

Watching television and their programs is more important to them than that “why.” Playing around, fooling around, being unproductive is more important to them than that “why.”

I’m not saying one is better than the other. But one is going to take priority over the other. If your priority is this “why,” you will do it. If your priority is something else, then you’ll do that.

Quite simply, you can always know what’s important to you by the actions that you take—or don’t take.

If you want to know what’s important to you, just watch yourself…and very quickly, you’ll know. That’ll shout loud and clear what you really want.

For a lot of people, fooling around, being unproductive, watching television, drinking their beer…that’s their priority. Which, I must say, I have no problem with.

But don’t beat yourself up for prioritizing them over your own success.

When it comes down to it, you need to ask yourself: what’s your “why” for success? Why do you want the money?

Well, if you ever hear yourself saying, “I have to have this. I have to make a bunch of money this month or I can’t pay my rent.”

Chances are you’re going to make the money.

If you really, really want a new car, or you really need to make $30,000 extra this year or you have to downgrade your whole life…guess what? You’re most likely going to make it.

If it’s not important to you, chances are you will find something else that’s more important, and you’ll put your energy and intention elsewhere. Simple as that.

Steve Jobs once said, “My intention is to make sure there is a computer on every desk in the world.” And you know what? He did a hell of a good job getting there—because he set that intention.

What’s your “why?” Why do you want to succeed? What do you want in your life? What is it that’s important to you?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Are you willing to be a Warrior for your freedom?

A true Warrior always had a reason for going into battle—and that reason was always bigger than themselves.

It was for the country or for their family or for their legacy or for their culture. It was always a bigger reason than just for themselves.

So if it’s really important to you, you can rest assured, you’ll do it.

What’s really important to you? Have you set an intention to move towards your priorities? Share your experiences in the comments below!

The issue of deservingness comes up pretty consistently when I’m teaching. You hear it in people’s questions that they don’t deserve success, happiness, peace of mind, etc. It comes out in language like, “I wasn’t meant to have (fill-in-the-blank), I guess.”

I don’t know who appointed anyone the one that knows what was meant to be or not meant to be, but they must be God, yes?

Let’s get rid of that language “meant to be” because you don’t know the answer to that question and neither do I. We’re going to let the big guy or the big gal or whatever greater spirit is out there take care of that. That’s not up to us.

My experience is that if we put our intention into something, and we are willing to work for it and do what it takes, it’s going to come about.

Let’s take football for example. Most 5’6” guys are not going to play professional football.

Well, there’s a guy who’s been in the league for several years named Darren Sproles, a 5’6” little speedster who plays running back. I saw a special about him on television that described since he was literally four years old, he was walking around with a football saying, “I’m going to be a football player.” Even though he was one of the smallest guys on every team he was ever on, he was also one of the best guys because he made up for it with his speed, strength, and his determination.

How many times do you think people told him, “No, you’re too small to play professional football”? A lot, but not enough. He never let it get so bad that he ever believed he didn’t deserve what he wanted no matter what other people were saying.

A lack of deservedness is a belief, it’s not a fact, so question it and examine it.

And we get our beliefs from verbal programming: from our parents, teachers, authority figures, or anybody else that said we’re not worthy.

We also get our beliefs from specific incidents that occur in life. Maybe you had a business or marriage that failed. Maybe you had a situation that you really wanted to work out but didn’t. Then we form a belief that, “I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve it anymore.”

The belief that you are not worthy or that you don’t deserve it is complete BS. You agreed with somebody that, “You’re not worthy” or, “You’re not as good as your brother or sister,” or whatever it is, and you bought it.

That’s all a way out to make ourselves feel better about being (or perceiving that we were) invalidated. It’s an “I don’t have to try” pill. “If I don’t do well, I’m okay with it because I’m not worthy anyway.”

If you want to block success; if you want to block your spirit; if you want to block your higher self; if you want to block the pure wisdom and joy and elegance that’s inside of you, well…that’s your business, isn’t it? All you have to do is say, “I’m unworthy,” and it’s over and finished. That gives you a nice excuse for your life, but it doesn’t work to get you what you want, does it?

All beliefs can be changed, and many of them need to be changed. Beliefs are changed with new evidence and new truths.

You can spend about 40 years in therapy trying to change your worthiness and deservedness, or you can just change the ridiculous story that says, “I’m not worthy” to “I am worthy!”

You just make up your mind and say, “I am worthy of the best life possible for myself and my family. I am deserving of all good things.”

Nobody else has that power, just you. You are the one with the pen. You are the one writing the book. You are the one writing the script of your life. It’s you, you and you!

You decided if you’re unworthy. You decide if you’re worthy.

Repeat this aloud, “I hereby decide that I deserve the best in life.”

Say it again. “I hereby decide that I deserve the best in life.”

Now you just do what you need to do to get it done.

Let’s hear from you…what challenges and obstacles have you overcome in spite of the odds? How were you able to shift from undeserving to a life of deservedness?

Share your thoughts, we want to hear from you!