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Holidays can be stressful, yes? You’re making time for family gatherings, shopping, etc. For some people, just managing the holiday blues can be stressful enough without all the other commercial stuff.

And what do most people go and do? They make things even more stressful coming up with “resolutions” for the New Year because that’s what we’re supposed to do, right?

If we want to reach our goals, we’re supposed to identify what they are, figure out a plan for how we’re going to get there, and measure our results along the way to see how we’re doing. That’s Personal Development 101.

But let’s look into this a little deeper. I’d say the majority of people we work with make some sort of New Year’s resolution.

Of those who do, vast majorities are successful for that first week, but—unsurprising—by the end the month the numbers start to fall. By the end of six months the amount of successes are basically non-existent.

Studies have shown that from those who made a New Year’s resolution, only 8% of them are consistently successful with it.

The odds don’t look so great, true or true?

So you’re probably thinking, “Why the hell should I bother making New Year resolutions if there is a good chance I won’t succeed?”

Here’s why…

When it comes down to it, this is the difference between successful and unsuccessful people.

Successful people make decisions and stick to them and unsuccessful people don’t.

You’re either dead serious and 100% committed or you’re not. There is no in-between.

It’s really that simple.

Do I believe in resolutions? No not really. I don’t like them.

I like goals and I like intentions. I think resolutions are overrated but I love the idea behind them.

Look at an area you want improve or need to fix, make a commitment and do it.

But I think our society has lost sight of the process itself. It shouldn’t be ‘let’s just list everything you want to be different next year and change EVERYTHING’.

That’s the worst thing you can do. You won’t do everything so by listing everything and not doing it you’re now training yourself to NOT do what you said you would do.

That’s what unsuccessful people do. Remember we are creatures of habit.

You either have successful habits or unsuccessful habits.

We want you to build successful habits so here’s what I believe is your best chance to succeed.

First, only pick something that you’re SUPER serious and set on changing.

Something that you know deep down in your bones you want to make this thing happen.

This isn’t something that would be ‘nice to have’ or would be ‘great if it was different.’ No that’s a surefire way to fail.

Pick something that is a necessity for you to work on.

Once you have some ideas of what those necessities might be then I want you to pick only ONE resolution for now.

Why only one?

Well because the key here is to start small and create a win for yourself.

When you do this you create confidence, you create momentum and you move into more and more action.

If you have too many things going on there is a very good chance you won’t be able to do it all.

You’ll likely forget or get overwhelmed and you’ll slowly but surely start to fade away from what you wanted to achieve.

So make sure you stick to ONE resolution for now. Now when you start to engrain this resolution and it becomes part of your everyday life then and only then should you add a new resolution into your life to work on.

Fair? I hope you said yes.

And that’s it. Pretty simple, yes? It’s not anymore complicated than that.

Now for some good news!

Despite what sounds like bad odds of being successful with resolutions: People who make New Year’s resolutions are 10-times more likely to be successful at achieving their goals than those who don’t.

Duh, right?! You can’t be successful at something you haven’t defined yet.

So make sure you do something this year to improve your life and make it better than last year.

In summary, whatever resolution you make for the coming year, decide now how important it is to you, knowing deep down in your bones that fear, outdated habits or obstacles are not going to be enough to keep you from meeting your goals.

Don’t waste your time with things you aren’t SUPER serious about (for now).

And pick ONE resolution to start, no more!

I wish you nothing but the best of luck and good fortune in this upcoming year.

This has been a great year for myself and our newly formed company Harv Eker International. We have a lot of amazing NEW programs coming your way in 2017 so make sure you’re subscribed to our weekly lessons so you don’t miss a beat.

You can get on that weekly lesson list by signing up here:

There’s an art to living in the present while putting your head down, pumping out some results, and moving with some sense of urgency to accomplish what needs to be done to succeed.

But then again, what’s success without happiness? And what are those most important parts of our happiness? The people that matter to us. If those parts of our happiness are neglected, then the accomplishment just doesn’t mean as much.

For example, being with your kids is of Level 10 importance as is having a wonderful relationship with your significant other, but so is staying healthy and fit, that new project you’re trying to launch, and, of course, making money, yes?

But just because they’re all equally important doesn’t mean we’re obligated to give them all equal time. You’re not going to be with your kids 24/7 unless you’re a stay-at-home parent or they’re a bit younger. It might be just 30 minutes of quality time you get with them during the week, or whatever. It doesn’t take 30 hours.

In terms of your significant other, let’s say Thursday is date night, probably the most effective and profound two or three hours you spend enhancing your relationship. A lot of things have to do with attention: not feeling important enough. Even if it’s for two or three quality hours, that can save a relationship.

“Okay, but what about that project? I’ve got my home business or my job, and I’m trying to write a book.” So on Wednesday afternoons from 1:00 until 5:00 work on the project.

If it’s a business project, then it’s during work time. If it’s not, then it’s a different time like the weekend or evenings. Now you don’t have to feel guilty that you’re not working on that project, or whatever it is.

All of this is to point out that people say they want to balance life. Okay, great, how’s “balancing” all of the above equally working out for you?

From my experience, the idea of “balancing” the areas of life is like an entertainer balancing tea cups and plates on sticks with every limb plus their mouths and head. This eventually means one or more things are going to come crashing down.

To avoid this kind of catastrophe, and give due focus and quality attention to all areas of life, you have to decide what kind of person you are.

Are you a consistent person or are you a burst person? Determining that determines how much you’re able to accomplish and allows you to be able to experience the other things that matter to you.

Let’s take a book project, for example. You write from 6:00 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. before you start the rest of your day, five days a week. That is a very consistent person.

I myself will not get up at 6:00 a.m. to write. It doesn’t fit for me. Every time I’ve ever written a course, a book, or anything like that and done well, I’ve gone away outside of my regular environment that had no distractions.

When I get up, I’m thinking about it already. When I take my walk, I’m thinking about it, and by the time I get back in at 8:00 or 9:00 a.m. and have my shake, my mind is just crazy with ideas; things I’ve written down on post-it notes. Then I start entering the post-it notes and bam, I’m into it. I go to sleep about midnight, and I’m back up again at 8:00 in the morning. I go again for between 12 and 15 hours per day for a few days straight like that.

In other words, it’s a burst. That’s how I operate.

Now the question is: how do you operate? Are you the kind of person that can do something every single day, a little bit every day, or are you the kind that achieves more quality work in bursts?

This important distinction can have a huge impact on your productivity, success, and most of all, your overall happiness and wellbeing!

Why? Because when you do what’s right for you, you tend to do better. You create your days with this knowledge in mind.

Need to spend time with your significant other and you’re a burst person? Book a vacation.

If you are consistent person, make sure you’re carving out something once or twice a week to connect with that person.

It’s important to know yourself. Just because ONE successful person says this is their morning routine does not mean that needs to be your morning routine.

The goal is to make a decision whatever it might be and just stay persistent with it.

When you do, you’ll see much better results in your life.

Share an experience you have in realizing your mode of accomplishing things and what kind of impact that has had on your success and the other areas of your life.

How do you best function? Morning person or night-bird? Absolute quiet or music in background? Library or coffee shop? How has this discovery impacted your health? Your relationships?

Share your experiences with us in the comments below!

One of my favorite web classes is my Ultimate Life Makeover System.

It’s setup to help you start to become a ‘LEVEL 10’ in all the areas of life.

This is perfect to do BEFORE you start your new year, trust me.

Click here to register for my next upcoming class.

When I was young, I was pretty decent at golf. I lived right across the street from a driving range and got my first set of clubs when I was 13 years old. I got to play golf literally all the time when I wasn’t in school.

But when I turned about 17-years old, I developed something called a slice where the ball really curves to the right, and I couldn’t correct it, so I started getting less involved in golf. Once I got out of school life took over, and I didn’t play for years and years.

I got back into it about 20 years ago, but I haven’t been nearly as good as when I was 13. So no, not everything is like “riding a bike”. I’ve taken lessons, I’ve gotten better, more expensive clubs, but I still end up slicing every time.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, I just came from hitting some golf balls on the range, and I started slicing again. It was not very pretty, and in retrospect, I couldn’t believe how down on myself I was getting about it.

Me! Mr. Personal Development…the guy who knows better than to let something like that matter because, hell, by most measures, I feel great about myself, my business, my relationships, my mission and purpose. Life is good!

But I want to drive a point home here about money and success, something that you already know but I’m going to say anyway: money does not solve all your problems, especially in determining how you feel about yourself, whether you’re rich or poor, an achiever or not. It’s not about the money. It’s not about achievement.

It’s about that thing we can never really get rid of, but we have to keep reminding ourselves about all the time: that little gnawing creature called doubt.

“Why can’t I do this better? I should be able to do this! I should be able to be a good golfer. I play quite a bit. I’m successful at so many things, why not this?”

It’s like you know you shouldn’t attach your self-worth to anything as dumb as that, but we do anyway, yes or yes? Some people make a habit of it, and if you’ve seen any of my stuff before, you know how I feel about the power of habits.

The lesson for me now that I’d like to share with you is that even at this stage in my life, I have to practice not attaching my worthiness or esteem to the outcome of whatever I’m doing. I have to practice keeping doubt at bay, and the way to do that is to not be so attached to any of your outcomes.

I know that sounds counter-intuitive, right? “Harv, how can you not care about the outcomes? How else can you be successful?”

There’s a difference between not caring about outcomes and not being attached to them. Not caring is about ambivalence, laziness, selfishness, or plain ole fear.

Non-attachment, on the other hand, is the highest spiritual state you can attain, the closest we can ever get to inner peace with ourselves. Non-attachment is our best defense against doubt and fear.

Remember, we’re not talking about not caring about being successful with business, money or relationships. We’re talking about doing what we’re gonna do with some thought, practice, education if necessary, skill and attention for anything you want to succeed at, and seeing what happens.

It’s the classic Zen paradox: to truly be successful, you can’t attach how you feel with how successful you are.

Esteem is in being able to look at yourself and know that rich or poor, win or lose, you live with integrity. In knowing that nobody’s perfect, but you are doing what you promised yourself you would do regardless of the results.

It’s in knowing that you can trust yourself, and that other people who are relying on you can trust you, too.

It’s not about doing these things 100% of the time. Esteem is an inner confidence, a peace of mind in gratitude for the good that is in your life right here and now; in faith that doesn’t need guarantees of success; in the self that–as best it can–remains unattached to outcomes so it can enjoy the here and now for what it is, but with an eye on an even more prosperous future.

What attachments in your life drive you crazy and how do you get over them? Share with us! We want to hear from you!

I haven’t found too many people that have inherent weaknesses of personality, or their way of being, that can fix them that easily.

I spent a lot of time when I was younger “working on my weaknesses”. The problem was that I kept finding more problems with myself, and I kept on getting disappointed about just how many flaws I actually had/have.

It finally occurred to me to stop trying to fix my weaknesses. Instead, I began focusing on my strengths and letting the weaknesses be where they are. If they go, they go. If they stay, they stay, and I’ll just manage them.

Focus on your strengths; manage your weaknesses.

“Oh, but I have to be better at this or be better at that.”

Listen, if you are able to utilize your strengths to a great extent…you’re going to be a super star. You’re going to be highly successful, and you’ll probably be very, very wealthy.

Let’s say we have 10 main characteristics about who we are, how we think, etc (10 just for conversation sake). Out of these 10 main characteristics, five of them are good and five of them are not so good.

What do most people end up doing? Well, we spend most of our time worried about the five that aren’t so good, right?

What does that do to the amount of time and energy that we put into the ones that are good and that are positive?

We’re putting all of our energy into what doesn’t work. Most people are not optimizing strengths because they don’t focus on them because they’re too busy trying to fix their weaknesses.

Now some of you might be saying, “To manage my weakness, doesn’t it mean becoming more dependent on others?” The implication with that kind of thought is that whatever it is you’re weak at, you’ll need others to compensate for that weakness.

Not necessarily. Your weakness could be lack of integrity or being late all the time. That doesn’t have to do with anybody else. There are all kinds of weaknesses that we can talk about here.

If you’re talking about a weakness in business, then you don’t necessarily want to depend on others, but can certainly delegate the activity to others and if need be, outsource what you know you’re not good at.

The idea that you need to fix problems to have a better life is incorrect. If there’s some major issue, like you have no money, should you try and create money? Of course you should, but if you focus on your lack of money, that does not earn you money. Focusing on a lack of money is not the answer to a lack of money. If you want to earn money, focus on earning money.

Our minds are crazy! The brain doesn’t default to, “Hey, I’m pretty broke right now. I think I need to go out there and earn some money.” Our minds play tricks on us, but only if we let that happen.

If you feel like there are things you want to get better at, then certainly it’s worth getting what you need from that. I just hope for your sake it doesn’t come at the expense of neglecting your core talents and skills that can really help other people.

What are your top three talents? Or what’s that one thing you are really, really good at; better than anybody you know?

Are there other areas of impact that you can have that might not require what you think you need in order to move forward?

Like, for example, you might not kill it in front of hundreds or thousands of people, but could you have tremendous impact in a small group setting, or one-on-one with people? Or from the safe distance of your computer keyboard or workshop?

In other words, where do your strengths lie?

Share your thoughts, comments, or experiences…we want to hear from you!

A huge part of the reason why I first began teaching was that I like to help people out, but I was also attempting to earn a decent living, do well financially, be successful and productive, etc.

Soon, I found though that what really gave me juice about being successful at teaching was when I noticed that I had an effect on people.

I began to notice that people would tell me that their lives were changing based on stuff I would teach them. Teaching became a little bit more about being in service than being financially successful, which of course is still important, but it was secondary. I think of success far differently now than what I thought it was 20 years ago.

When people say “success” they usually mean achievement, yes? To “be” successful is to have enough money to do what you want (achieving freedom); be good at something and recognized for it (achieving significance); enjoy relationships, have a family (achieving emotional happiness and stability); do good and be respected in your community, etc., right?

Here’s the thing: I’m not saying all these things aren’t great, but they aren’t the true measures of success. My definition of success is quite simple: living your purpose.

Are you living your purpose? Do you even know what your purpose is?

All those other things we typically associate with success aren’t so much “successes” to attain as much as they are gifts that make us feel rather comfortable and happier. We do what we need to do to “get” what we want, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but my only concern is whether or not the “attainment” of these “successes” (i.e. desires that, sometimes, are not coming from our higher selves) is taking us away from living our purpose.

Some people’s purpose isn’t going to materialize in comfort and relationships, big houses and stuff. Some people’s purpose is to lead others through sacrifice of such things, shaping the world beyond what they actually get to see in their lives. You can think of a few spiritual teachers who fit this bill, yes?

For me, I know my purpose has been and will continue to be helping people through information, education, and inspiration to really live from courage, purpose and joy vs. fear, need and obligation. I do think that for most of us, we can live our purpose and enjoy the gifts, i.e. the “successes” that come with it.

I don’t believe any one person’s dharma (think of it as a life duty we’re born into) is more or less significant than another’s; they’re just different levels of intensification and vibration each of us puts out into the world.

I believe that when we are living our purpose–in truth and sincerity–we are just living out what was intended for all of us to be.

So I ask again…are you living your life’s purpose? Do you even know what it is?

If you don’t…well, first of all, you actually do. How do I know this? Because only you can know it! Nobody can tell you what that is; you have to figure it out for yourself.

However, I offer some advice for those whose purpose is still unclear to them. Recognize the three enemies that keep you from living your purpose: living from fear, living from need, and living from obligation.

I guarantee that as you really look at what it is you do in life, you will be blown away by what you observe. For most people, 90% of the time they’re living in fear, need, or obligation.

“Well I have to do this (stay at a crappy job, for example).”

“Why?”

“I have to do it because (fill-in-the-blank).”

Those take you out of your higher self. They take you out of your zone. They take you out of your happiness. As real as those reasons may be, you won’t be looking for a solution if you stay attached to fear, need, or obligation.

So, how have fear, need and obligation affected you and your life’s purpose? What insights have you gleamed along the way? What is your mission, anyway?

Tell us what you think in the comments below…we want to hear from you!