The Easiest Way To Make Sure You Never Break A Commitment Again
If you’ve ever broken a commitment to yourself at some point in time, beating yourself up for it does not help.
Your ego self, your conditioned self, your false self, believe it or not does not want you to be happy.
I know, that sucks, right? I’m sorry to have to be the one to throw these reminders out there, but that’s how important this is. The Ego’s not the happiness director. It wants you to be in fear. If it controls you then you’ll be okay, according to it.
If there’s something wrong with you, you have to do something about it, which means you have to get into your logic and reason, and discuss it. You develop a negativity of what’s wrong with you, why it’s wrong with you, and where this negativity came from. The ego mind loves that discussion. It could be entertained for days for some people, weeks for other people, and for some people their whole life.
There’s nothing wrong with you. The only thing that’s wrong with you is your ego telling you there’s something wrong with you.
It’s a trick by that sneaky ego that is being played on the Higher Self, the real you. It’s a trick that tells you, “I’m going to make a commitment; this time I will,” but your ego mind is laughing and saying, “Ha, you’re not going to keep this commitment.”
If you’ve made commitments 10 times and you haven’t kept them, the problem is not you. The problem is the part of you who wants to make the commitment. Why would you make a commitment you know you’re not going to keep? Why? It’s so you can beat yourself up.
You see, the ego voice is giving you rationale to beat yourself up. The goal is negativity about yourself. The goal is to downplay yourself, downgrade yourself, degrade yourself and diss yourself.
Can you see that whole vicious circle that’s going on?
So instead of spinning our wheels, let’s play a trick on the ego. How about this: there are no commitments…we’re going to do what works! We’re going to give ourselves a win and that’s going to take the ego out of it. We’re going to change the game.
To be clear, I’m not talking about those obvious commitments, like if you have young children or something like that. I’m talking about those commitments to ourselves! Losing weight, waking up an hour earlier every morning, spending less time watching shows or online to write or think out your ideas…those kinds of commitments to yourself.
If that hasn’t been working so far, first of all, forgive yourself. You didn’t know any better. You didn’t know that the ego mind was playing a trick on you, and playing a trick is its way of making you feel bad about yourself. But now you know.
Secondly, make whatever you’re doing as easy and simple as possible (for now at least). Forget about the commitments. If you can’t keep to a commitment, don’t keep on making stupid commitments if they don’t work for you.
Have an intention. Have an experiment. If you want something to start changing, start changing your habits one at a time. Make a very, very small commitment.
For instance, if I wanted to wake up earlier, instead of trying to wake up at 7:00 a.m. instead of 8:00 a.m., I’m going to see what happens if I set my alarm for 7:55 a.m. and put it on the other side of the room. That’s my goal.
My intention is not to wake up at 7:00 a.m. because that’s too hard. I’m going to wake up at 7:55 a.m. I think I could do that.
Don’t do stuff like this: “Tomorrow I’m going to work out for 60 minutes no matter what, first thing in the morning.”
If you haven’t worked out for the last two weeks, or you’re not in the habit of working out, the dumbest thing in the world you could do is to make a commitment to work out for an hour tomorrow. There’s only one question you should be asking yourself: how easy could I make this to where it’s stupid easy? Anybody can do that. And that’s the key to building your habits.
What do you think about this experiment? We want to hear from you!
Simple and doable is the name of the game.
Which is what over 45,000 students have been taught on my web class:
The Ultimate Life Makeover System…
where I give you 7 steps to help you design and create your ultimate life.
For Your Freedom,
Thank you, Harv, so many coaches say exactly the opposite: do something very hard and so on, but your advice is realistic and effective! Simple and easy, as baby steps, this sounds fantastic! Usually I am a perfectionnist, but since your ultimate life makeover system, I keep this advice in my mind to achieve my goals, and I begun to forgive myself too, for not being perfect… because I do my best. All the best, Nadège
Thanks so much for this post! Yes, my ego can certainly talk me out of anything that’s good for me. I can already see how making it super simple and easy silences the ego’s objections. Thank you for this very helpful tip!
“There’s only one question you should be asking yourself: how easy could I make this to where it’s stupid easy?”
LOL!!! Classic…and yet, so very true.
Thanks Harv for your sharing, it really strikes me that you mention we make a commitment that we are not going to keep is to beat ourselves up. Thanks for you sharing and I understand more on my habits and my ego mind.
Harv…
You always have great info to share. About thirty years ago I learned AND put into practice this little saying: ‘Make less commitments…but those you make…keep’. It totally changed my life. It’s amazing how the ‘little things’ make ALL the difference.
And your book ‘Secrets of The Millionaire Mind’ is one of the very best of the best books ever written for success. I keep it next to my bed along with my bible.
Continue your amazing journey in helping others.
Thanks. Take care and God bless.
Warmest Regards, Tom :-))
Hi Harv! Thank you very much! Thank you! It is great to hear small steps are the best, and just stick with them, all the time. Until we get to fulfill my commitment! Thank you!
This is fantastic, I can let go and live in the present moment more fully by acting in accordance with my real self my higher self. Living life in this way will all me to let go of expectations and open up to the acceptance that is ever present inside of me with love 🙂
Hey Harv, Thanks so much. even though I’ve been battling my Ego’s negative influence for some time, it’s always nice to hear a pro admit that even he has to deal with it from time to time. One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever been handed is; ” keep it simple, and you can’t fail”
Hi Harv, my problem is over committing. Over committing to self improvement courses. I’m typically signed up for 3 to 5 at a time and it’s a no brainer that the overlap is going to make it a perfect set up for what you describe above. So here’s the thing, these opportunities come up, their time sensitive in terms of getting a ‘deal’ on the price, so I go ahead thinking I’ll work it out, or I can get back to that one later, or let me cram everything into my weekend(assuming I’m not working my JOB). What would you suggest would be a good approach to this silliness? Thanks
We make commitments because we want (or have) to break out of our comfort zone. It can be because we want to lose weight, be in better shape, deal with a problem, etc. If we keep things very simple, even more, at their very simplest, we do not have to make a commitment, we just have to “do it”. At that moment, where we see that something has to be done… just do it. And that gives a great pleasure and a boost to our self-esteem.
It’s something I’m beginning to do with my fitness clients. Having them do 5 minutes of their home video workout. Just one little taste. That’s all I have them do starting off. Then gradually have them do more. Eventually they’ll WANT to do the whole thing… and fall in love with it 🙂
But it’s about starting it slow! Even Darren Hardy speaks about this in The Compound Effect (Which you wrote a review for, Harv), as beginning with tiny steps, rather than giant leaps.
Excellent article!
You’re right. I have promised myself hundred times to do something and have failed doing it. Now, I am pretty tired because I promise myself to do too much so I have made another promise and that’s to just do what I want to do for a while. I always do too much and expect load for myself. I even committed being rich in just 1 year without having a job.
When I first moved to New York fresh out of grad school to be a musician, I had to take an odd job to survive the first few months. Problem was I didn’t feel like much of a musician working behind the counter of a health food deli, so I wanted to start my day practicing music. I developed a routine that would take me 5 minutes to complete, so all I had to do was get up 5 minutes earlier and practice before I got ready to go to work. It felt beautiful and all day I felt like a musician, even while fixing other people’s sandwiches. Pretty soon I extended the morning practice to 10 minutes, then 15, and eventually I ended up at about an hour. By this time I was already firmly entrenched in the professional music scene, but this habit of practicing in the morning stayed with me through all these years. It makes me happy and I have joy in my work. It was a habit I developed in very small increments and I love it.
Amazing lessons from Harv. He’s definitely made a difference in my life.
Great insight. Small habits and small goals can build up quickly to real and sometimes amazing results!
Brilliant insights! Because at the core of the ego there are beliefs, like “I’m not good enough”, “Whatever I do is never good enough”, “I’m a failure” and so on, the ego will create the circumstances that will prove and reinforce the identity that these beliefs are creating. This is exactly how it is done as you have described in the article. More people should have this level of insight as a deep, inner knowing, armed with the antidote too.
Thank you Harv.
That was a very easy to understand and relatable way to look at the process.
I will definitely be putting these principles into play!
I think you are right about the ego part. It is possible to keep a commitment, however, it is hard and very painful. Once I promised a family member to do some work for them and send it to them by a particular time. Everything tried to distract me from doing the work. I sent it to them one minute before the promised time. I was sitting there, bleeding through my nose (literally), with a headache size of the world, virtually not being able to see because of pain. So, it is possible, but why turn yourself inside out if there is an easier way?.. Thanks for the article, Harv! ♥
БЛАГОДАРЮ!
This! Create big smile on my face 😀
Love You Harv!
Thank you so much Harv,
you make me sleep better, I overcommitment a lot and waking up at night to think all the things over i didnt did the other day, not good. I wil try to work out your advice and i am looking foreward to wake up with no guilty feelings.
Thanks Harv,
I can see now. I have a lot of adjustments and re-commitments to do. And in certain cases, I don’t even need to commit atall. It is not about what you must do. It is about the reasonable potion of it that you do seemlessly,thereby enjoying that re-assuring feeling of satisfaction. Thanks again, Harv.
Super!!!
Very simple is just that – very simple! Now why can it sometimes be so hard??????
I’ve come to understand that keeping commitment has to do with a lot of things. In some areas of your life you will find it easy – if not easier. But in other areas it may be difficult.
It has to do with why?
And as you suggested asking questions like one suggested (“how easy could I make this to where it’s stupid easy?”) will help.
Gracias Harv, desde hace unos días no me siento bien conmigo misma precisamente porque mi ego no lo quiere que sea, hoy se que debo de vencerlo y ser mas fuerte yo que el, escucharme a mi y no a el!!
I like the idea, a smart way to set up yourself to win 🙂
This makes a lot of sense. Why not intentionally make life easier, AND better? I have been doing this with some commitments for a while now, hearing it from Harv made it sink in a little deeper, and shows me how I can implement this technique in a lot more areas of my life. Thanks a Harv!!
Gracias Harv, por compartir todo lo que sabes, Penetrar en el SER y así silenciar el Ego y despertar ese genio que existe en nosotros. Mantenernos presentes y observar nuestros pensamientos y emociones.
i actually just started doing this, before i read your post. i committed to doing 5 push-ups and 10 sit ups every day. either that or going to the gym. so if i’m super tired, i can just do these little tiny sets before bed. of course, i’ve been working out since i was 16, so this is a super easy commitment for myself
I love everything that you are about you make so much sense and you are so in line with who I am.
In one of my programs I advise my clients to “Be Gentle with yourself” because they will forever go round and round in viscous circles each and every time the tell themselves off. I had a wonderful example of me doing that to me many years ago. I felt that I had said something stupid and so I caught myself slapping the back of my hand. Obviously self disciplining from my child hood here as an adult
Thank you, baby steps to help make a big change.
БЛАГОДАРЮ!!!
Great advice and so easy to follow, I just love the way you make things seem so easy and clear…
Great article. From now on no more over committing oneself.
Commitment is a big word. Thanks T. Harv for sharing this message. As an ordinary person, I am not able to solve world problems. In daily works, I plan, schedule, prioritise and adjusts.
This is the first time that I read about the ego mind. It’s something that makes unconscious of our actions and behaviors.
I changed a small habit and do not commit on unnecessary things.
I’m 100%committed to become wealthy.